


together

by tototooru



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, probably smut in the future but we dont know yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 42,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tototooru/pseuds/tototooru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>nobody could actually explain why were they stronger when they were together. even hyungwon and hoseok couldn't understand it themselves. [...] it happened all the time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is inspired by ceo-seungri's "no homo tho" on wattpad

Through high school Hyungwon and Hoseok were in different classes except for their last year. Fear overcame half of the people who knew them. Everyone was aware that once you put them in the same place, destruction comes afterwards. And it was at the most unexpected times. Really, one could never know when they were planning something or were just chilling.

They met in their first year of high school and were really close since then. As if two puzzle pieces found each other and fit perfectly.

In their first year everyone noticed how connected they looked especially when playing volleyball when their classes had P.E. together. They were always on the same side of the court. They were offered to join the volleyball team. Hyungwon accepted immediately since he played volleyball before high school but Hoseok wasn't sure about i, being a bit sceptical.

"Come on, I don't want to be alone," Hyungwon whined, wrapping his arms around Hoseok's shoulders.

"Aren't volleyball teams consisted of more than six or seven players?" Hoseok raised an eyebrow and looked at Hyungwon, realizing their faces are really close to each other. "I mean, in what way are you going to be alone? I bet you even know a big part of the team."

The other started shaking him left and right, continuing to whine. "Nothing is fun without you anymore."

Hoseok stroked Hyungwon's strands of hair gently, letting out a sigh. "Fine. But I don't promise I will be able to do anything useful."

"Please," Hyungwon rolled his eyes, shoving his elbow in the other's ribs. "You're going to do just fine. I've seen you play without me and you're really good at it. Any ways, we're still not in the team. We just got offered."

Hoseok sighed again, pressing his forehead against Hyungwon's neck. "Why are you so clingy?"

"You're the one nuzzling in my neck now."

"Shut up. You're really comfortable. Like a pillow. I'd say you're better than a girlfriend but I've never had one, so I have no idea."

"With an ugly face like yours I don't think you're even going to get one."

"Fight me, Chae Hyungwon."

\--

Luckily, they both got accepted in the volleyball team. Hyungwon was regularly playing as a middle blocker because of his height. Hoseok was either going to be a wing spiker or a setter. It wasn't decided yet. Both of them were good for any position. They weren't regulars any ways, so it wasn't their concern at that moment.

In their second year they were regulars, Hyungwon being a middle blocker and Hoseok - a setter. Their gameplay alone was strong, but once they were together, they were the strongest on their side of the court.

Nobody could actually explain why were they stronger when they were together. Even Hyungwon and Hoseok couldn't understand it themselves. And that wasn't only when they were playing volleyball. It happened all the time. They had a weird kind of connection. Hyungwon seemed like a completely different person when Hoseok wasn't around. As if he wasn't confident enough. Hoseok was still talkative but didn't feel the same freedom as the one he had when he was talking to his best friend.

Public displays of affection were also a must for them. When they were next to each other their arms would always touch. Sometimes they were unconsciously holding each other's hands, their fingers interlaced. Even after realizing they were doing it, they didn't let go. They never found it weird. It was more comfortable like that.

In their third year they were in the same class with their closest people in school - Jooheon, Minhyuk, Kihyun, Hyunwoo and Changkyun. It was strange that they were all in the same class. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo had been in the same class since their first year, Hoseok and Changkyun were in the same class in year two, Hyungwon was with Jooheon in year one and with Kihyun in year two. It was a pure miracle that all seven were together.

Hyunwoo was also in the volleyball team and that's why Hyungwon and Hoseok got so close with him. Then they met Minhyuk because he was showing up at volleyball practices to watch his classmate regularly. If the two had to be honest, at first they thought Hyunwoo and Minhyuk were dating and they were really cute together. When they found out they were in fact not dating and single they made the simplest plan to get them together. It was obvious they liked each other. No need for complicated plans.

"Minhyukie," Hyungwon was taking a rest during volleyball practice and sat on the spectators' benches next to Minhyuk.

Minhyuk smiled warmly as the other put a hand on his shoulder and made himself comfortable.

"Wonho and I have been talking a lot about this and we finally decided to do something about it," Hyungwon paused for a second until he spoke again. "Do you like Hyunwoo?"

The other male looked dumbfounded, but smiled again soon after. "Of course."

"In _that_ way?"

"Definitely."

"Have you done anything about it?"

"Have you done anything about you and Hoseok?" Minhyuk noticed how confused Hyungwon looked. What an oblivious boy. "Nevermind... Anyways...I haven't done anything."

"Well, you should. Or Wonho and I will have to talk to him."

Minhyuk nodded and Hyungwon went back to practice.

Soon after, Hyunwoo and Minhyuk were finally together and Hoseok and Hyungwon felt it as a victory of their own, because they were the reason it happened.

Hyungwon never forgot about Minhyuk's question, regarding his best friend. He never managed to understand it either. He was too oblivious to notice that his relationship with Hoseok wasn't normal.

\--

In year two Hoseok had a girlfriend and Hyungwon envied him so much. He was somewhat famous among girls just like Hoseok. Why couldn't he get a girl? Every time he talked about it with Changkyun, the other just shrugged.

"Maybe you just don't like girls," he would sometimes say, ready for Hyungwon to hit him afterwards.

Hyungwon somehow managed to get a girlfriend after all. What surprised his friends was that _she_ went to talk to him. " _Who paid her_?" was the first thing coming to Jooheon's mind as they were peeking at them behind a corner. His question was followed by silent giggles.

Hoseok's relationship didn't last very long since the girl was getting too jealous because of Hyungwon. She was claiming that the way he was holding his best friend was way different from the way he was holding her. And that he was spending more time with him. Which was true. All of it.

No girl could be more important than Hyungwon.

Hyungwon's relationship, on the other hand, was still lasting even in the beginning of year three.

From time to time he was still thinking about Minhyuk's question.


	2. 2

The night before the first day of their third and last year of high school, Hoseok and Hyungwon had agreed to go to bed early. At first Hoseok was surprised when his best friend suggested it because they were both used to going to bed late at night and waking up in the early hours of the afternoon. But then he remembered that Hyungwon had the ability to sleep all the time. No matter what was happening. Even a zombie apocalypse couldn't wake him up. The world exploding couldn't wake him up. ( _Because he was going to be fucking dead but Hoseok's logic didn't have to know that_ )

It was past 2am. Hoseok had fallen asleep a long time ago. Sometimes he just thought that it was better for him to listen to Hyungwon. Since he was a light sleeper he was woken up by weight sitting beside him.

"Wonho," a familiar voice whispered.

Hoseok opened his eyes slightly. Enough to see a young male above him, moonlight reflecting on his face.

"Hyungwon, how did you and your ugly ass face get into my room?"

"I'm not the one who doesn't have a girlfriend," Hyungwon grinned devilishly and turned on the lamp on the night stand next to Hoseok's bed. The sudden bright lightning stung Hoseok's eyes and he quickly put a hand over his face.

Hyungwon climbed on top of the other, placing his legs on either side of his body. "Now that you're awake--"

"Fuck you," Hyungwon cried out while trying to adjust to the lightning slowly.

"I know you want to fuck me, but can you leave that for later?" Hoseok rolled his eyes, internally cursing at the boy who was on top of him. "Let's go catch Pokemon."

Hoseok raised an eyebrow and looked at the digital clock on his night stand. "Hyungwon, you idiot, it's 2am. _2am_. _**My beauty sleep, Hyungwon**_. It's your fault I'm ugly. You never let me sleep."

The taller leaned closer to Hoseok, his long fingers running up his neck. He knew that no matter how many times he had done it until now, it always got his best friend worked up. He felt how his body stiffened under him. "It's full moon. You have no idea how many Clefairy there are out there."

Hoseok imediately pushed Hyungwon off of his bed and went to his wardrobe. "I mean, I still hate you for waking me up at 2am, but I also kinda love you at the same time."

"Are those my boxers?" Hyungwon got up and sat on the bed.

"Boy, don't make excuses to stare at my Greek god ass." Hoseok took out a pair of black ripped jeans.

"Just get dressed already."

\--

They got back to Hoseok's room at around 4:30am, collapsing on the bed next to each other. It was a small bed but big enough to fit the both of them. No Clefairy caught because they were goofing off too much to actually focus on what's important.

"What happened to going to bed early?" Hoseok turned on his back and grabbed Hyungwon's hand firmly.

"Well... Now it's... Going to bed early... In the morning."

"I swear to fucking God..." Hoseok rolled his eyes.

"Hey, it was a good joke. I deserve a kiss for it," Hyungwon grinned, making himself more comfortable on the pillow.

"Ask your girlfriend, I ain't kissing your ugly face."

They were lying in silence. The sky was getting brighter and the sun was going to rise soon. The boys started seeing each other's faces more clearly. They were staring into each other's eyes. Almost not blinking.

Hoseok cupped Hyungwon's cheek. "Hyungwon?"

"Mm?"

"What does your girlfriend think about us... being too touchy? Should we stop this?"

Hyungwon sighed, putting his hand on the back of Hoseok's head and pulled him closer, pressing their foreheads together. The tips of their noses were lightly brushing against each other. Heat spread all over Hoseok's face and the tips of his ears. He could almost feel it on the back of his neck, too.

"If she ever had a problem with this, I would have broken up with her a long time ago. You know it. I realize this isn't normal for most people, considering the country we live in, but I'm really comfortable with you. I don't want this to stop. Ever."

"You almost made me cry." Hyungwon slapped the back of Hoseok's head. "I feel the same, though."

"Gay."

"Not gay!"

"Gayer than Minhyuk."

"Oh God, please, no."

"I still deserve a kiss, though."

"In your wicked dreams, you sick bastard."

\--

Oversleeping on the first day of school wasn't new for them. That's how they actually met in the first place. They were lost, not knowing what classrooms they were in. This year they were in the same classroom... But still didn't know which one. They tried calling Jooheon and Changkyun because they were always on their phones. Any attempt they made failed.

"What's the possibility that a teacher already caught them with their phones?" Hoseok sat on the stairs in front of the school, tugging Hyungwon by the sleeve, making him sit next to him. Hyungwon sat, too.

"79%. Or 81%. Depends."

"At least we don't have classes today."

"Why are we even here then?"

"I don't know. Let's go back to my house and sleep," Hoseok suggested.

"Sure."

As expected, the first day wasn't exciting. Actually, it was better sleeping with Hoseok than spending a whole day in school, once again listening how high the teachers' expectations were. Both of them didn't really care. They just wanted to be together, enjoying each other's company. School was never that important any ways.

Hyungwon had passed away too soon. Hoseok wanted to keep talking to him. He was slowly running his fingers through his friend's hair, watching how at peace he looked while asleep. At moments like that all he wanted was time to stop. Only then they would be together forever.

"By the way," Hyungwon suddenly said, causing Hoseok to open his eyes and look at the boy in front of him. "It's not my fault you're ugly. You were naturally born like that."

"Get out of my fucking house."

Hyungwon snuggled closer to the shorter boy. "Later," he murmured and went back to sleep.


	3. 2.1

Hyungwon woke up from a nightmare. He felt himself wrapped in a thin layer of cold sweat. Heavy pants were escaping from his throat. He hadn't had such a bad nightmare in weeks. Maybe even months. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes, but they dried away soon after. He wiped away the sweat from his forehead with a shaky hand, letting out a long sigh. When he came to his senses he realized there was weight pressed on him. He looked down to see Hoseok who was staring at him with worry. The boy had his chin rested on the other's chest.

"A nightmare?" Hoseok quietly asked.

"Why aren't you asleep?" Hyungwon ran his fingers through his best friend's hair, making him purr at some point. Hoseok had a sensitive scalp and he always melted under Hyungwon's touch.

"I was. You woke me up." Right. Light sleeper. Hyungwon forgot about that sometimes. Hoseok comforted his head on the other's chest and closed his eyes, gripping at the fabric of Hyungwon's hoodie.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

Hyungwon sighed again and rested his head back on the pillow. He kept stroking Hoseok's hair gently.

"What did you dream of?" Hyungwon didn't answer. Hoseok looked up because he thought his best friend was asleep again. But he wasn't. Warm tears were streaming down his temples. "No, don't." Hoseok quickly got up and sat next to Hyungwon. He brushed away his tears with his thumbs, putting his hands on either side of his face afterwards. "You know I hate seeing you cry."

"Sorry..." Hyungwon weakly said. He did his best to stop crying. But he couldn't. It was way stronger than him. And his best friend was forced to see him like this once again. It was horrible. "Please, don't look at me."

Hoseok sighed and lied down next to Hyungwon, hugging him tight and pressing the taller's head against his chest.

"Stop it. Stop taking care of me when I'm like this. I'm making you worry. I hate it." Hyungwon's weeps were muffled by Hoseok's T-shirt. "I hate it so much..."

"It's my job to worry. All the time. Literally all the time. Even when you're not around. Especially then actually. I have to be sure that you're okay. And if you're not, I'm not doing a good job as a best friend."

Both of them didn't know what to say afterwards. Hyungwon gradually stopped crying in Hoseok's arms. He looked up at the other boy and mouthed an "I love you". Hoseok smiled warmly.

"Go back to sleep. It's still noon."


	4. 3

"Mom, I'm fine, I'm at Hoseok's house." Hyungwon was talking to his mom. More like arguing with her. "Mom, he literally lives on the opposite side of the street." He was walking around on the balcony, trying to convince her that Hoseok and his parents had nothing against him being in their house most of the time.

In fact, Hoseok's parents loved Hyungwon because he was " _such a nice child_ ". Sometimes they looked on him as a child of their own. When they found out that Hyungwon was sneaking into Hoseok's room through the window, they didn't scold him at all. They even offered giving him the spare key for the house. That's how much they trusted him.

Hyungwon's mom's voice gradually got softer. She wasn't yelling at him anymore. She wasn't that kind of a parent in the first place. "Look, I know how much you love spending time with Hoseok, but at least let me know when you're leaving the house. I got really worried when you weren't home this morning."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Love you."

"Love you, too." Hyungwon hung up and walked back into Hoseok's room. The shorter boy was eating ramen ( _What a surprise, honestly_ ) and playing something on his computer.

Hyungwon dragged a chair and sat next to Hoseok. "I know you're basic and all, but why are you playing League of Legends?"

"I'm not basic, what the fuck?" Hoseok being the basic bitch he was ( _not_ ), was playing with Teemo. Hyungwon could only roll his eyes because of that. He rested his head on Hoseok's shoulder.

"You can't even play. Stop getting yourself killed by the turrets, are you stupid?" Hyungwon placed his hands on Hoseok's which were on the mouse and the Q, W, E, R keys of the keyboard. He was guiding him where to go and which key to press.

"Recall." Hyungwon lazily said. Hoseok obliged and pressed B.

The game continued for 30 more minutes. Hoseok's team won and Hyungwon was so happy that he pushed him down on the floor. Hoseok let out a quiet screech as his body hit the ground and was jumped on by the taller. Soon he realized their lips were touching. And they weren't just brushing slightly. They were pressed together. Maybe Hyungwon went too far with his outburst of happiness.

Hyungwon was Hoseok's first kiss. Just like Hoseok was Hyungwon's. Before having girlfriends they were talking about how bad it would be if their first kiss wasn't with the right person. That they would've regretted it their whole lives probably. Hoseok suggested being each other's first kiss. After all, they were best friends. And they were far away from the thought that they were normal best friends. In the beginning Hyungwon was 100% against the idea. But as he gave it a thought, it seemed like the right thing to do. They were surprised how good it actually felt but they never did it again.

Well, until Hyungwon pushed him.

Hoseok carefully put his hands on the other's chest and slightly lifted him from himself, but didn't push him off.

"I'm sorry." Hyungwon was so embarrassed that he couldn't even look at Hoseok.

"Let's just forget it happened."

"Yeah."

Once again Hyungwon remembered Minhyuk's question. Not sure if he was starting to understand it. Probably not. It still confused him. It's been so long and he still had that question stuck in his mind.

\--

"Where were you yesterday?" Changkyun asked while trying to suppress his grin. Hoseok was just glaring at him which made Changkyun burst out laughing along with Jooheon. "We probably should've answered your calls."

"Thanks for nothing," Hoseok muttered, sitting on his desk. He was between Minhyuk and Hyungwon.

"Really, though. Where were you?" Minhyuk turned to Hoseok.

"At my house."

Changkyun wiggled his eyebrows. "Were you making out the whole day?"

"I'm not making out with anyone who plays League of Legends," Hyungwon joined their conversation. Hoseok gave him an extremely smug smile. Hyungwon tried to kick him, but Hoseok was too fast and pulled his legs away. Still looking at his best friend as if he knew every single dirty little secret of his. Which was true at some point.

"I've seen him play like... Ten times or so," Jooheon pointed at Changkyun.

"Wasn't even planning on making out with him but thanks for warning me." All Hyungwon wanted at that moment was Hoseok to stop staring at him. _What happened to "let's just forget", Wonho?!_

\--

Between classes Hyungwon was spending a lot of time with his girlfriend since they weren't in the same class. Hoseok was bored, so he was hanging out with Kihyun, Jooheon and Changkyun. Minhyuk and Hyunwoo were too busy being gay for each other.

At moments like that Hoseok remembered that there were bigger idiots than Hyungwon. He was stuck with them any ways. He had no other choice. Hanging out with Hyungwon and his "babe" in the hallways and watching how they were making out was definitely not a choice. If he had a girlfriend he wouldn't have been so bored.

If he was with Hyungwon he wouldn't have been so bored. They were better together and Hyungwon's girlfriend just got in the way of their friendship.

Hoseok couldn't wait until their classes were over. They had a volleyball practice. The first for the school year, though they had a lot ot practice matches with other teams during the vacation before school.

What he did not expect was Hyungwon's girlfriend showing up at the practice. She was sitting next to Minhyuk, her eyes glued on Hyungwon. It made Hoseok slightly uncomfortable for no reason.

After practice Hyungwon went to Hoseok while changing to normal and more comfortable clothes. "Wonho, I know I promised you that we're going to go home together, but it's getting dark and I have to walk her home. I'm sorry."

"She shouldn't have come in the first place," Hoseok muttered and grit his teeth.

"What did you say?" Did Hyungwon really not hear him?

"I said we're gonna go home together tomorrow."

"Thanks for understanding," Hyungwon smiled and went out.

She was definitely getting in the way. And Hoseok didn't like it. He felt lonely. She was his best friend's girlfriend and that was okay. He didn't have to get so mad about this. But he couldn't stop feeling bad.


	5. 4

Hyungwon was peacefully lying on his bed and watching anime when he heard his window open. He stopped the episode he was watching and looked at the window, only to see what he expected to. Hoseok climbed into the room and landed on the wooden floor softly.

"What are you watching? Anime again?" Hoseok asked as he was taking off his shoes.

"Tokyo Ghoul," Hyungwon responded, totally expecting what was Hoseok going to say.

" _You're_ watching Tokyo Ghoul and _I'm_ the basic one???" Hoseok lied next to the other male.

"Yeah."

Hoseok rolled his eyes and snuggled into Hyungwon. The taller left his phone aside and wrapped an arm around Hoseok.

"You're upset I left you alone today, aren't you?" Hoseok nodded, making Hyungwon sigh. "Lately, I've been thinking about breaking up with her."

Hoseok's eyes widened. "What do you mean ' _breaking up with he_ r'???" Why did he even bother asking? It was a thing he currently wanted the most.

"I don't think that has a second meaning," Hyungwon shrugged. "It's just too much. I have to spend time with her, but I also have to spend time with you. And I can't hang out with the both of you at the same time because I know you don't really like her."

"I haven't said I don't like her."

"You don't need to."

Hoseok grabbed the other's free hand, drawing circles into his smooth skin with his thumb. He wanted to tell him he didn't want her in his life. But he was aware it wasn't his own life but Hyungwon's. "Do whatever makes you happy," he almost whispered. He was actually a bit scared. What if Hyungwon chose her? What if the friendship they had built got ruined by a girl? Hoseok was scared. More than scared actually. Horrified of the possibility of that happening.

Without Hyungwon he was going to live a boring life. Everything without him was boring. He had never had such a strong bond with anyone before. And he didn't need it since he had Hyungwon. He was ready to leave literally everyone just to be with that boy. Never really knew if the same applied for Hyungwon, but there was still hope.

"Spending time with you makes me happier. She changed a lot. We don't have anything to talk about anymore. You and I have changed a lot since our first year, but we're still together. Instead of parting ways, we're actually getting even closer."

"Since when are you so wise?" Hoseok smiled, nuzzling his face in the crook of Hyungwon's neck.

"I-I'm..." Hyungwon got embarrased after realizing what he had said.

"Let's watch Tokyo Ghoul," Hoseok gently bit Hyungwon's neck while getting his phone from the other side of the bed.

Hoseok ended up spoiling a big part of the episode they watched. Hyungwon just wanted to watch in peace. In order to do that, first he had to catch up with all the anime Hoseok had watched, so when they watched together it was going to be something the both hadn't seen. Didn't change the fact Hoseok spoke a lot during movies, anime and such.

They finished the second season but it was 3am and they were already tired. Hoseok wasn't planning on going back home. He remained snuggled into the taller. Hyungwon turned off the lamp above his bed and positioned himself in a way more comfortable way.

"Wonho?"

"No, I don't want to go Pokemon hunting, it's _3am_."

Hyungwon chuckled sweetly. "I just wanted to ask you if you want to marathon Torchwood this weekend."

"Oh... Sure. We always say we're going to watch it but never actually do it."

"We're going to."

"Okay."

Thirty minutes later the both of them still hadn't fallen asleep. They weren't even talking. Hyungwon was listening to Hoseok's steady breathing. He had a weird feeling in his stomach. It didn't exactly hurt but it felt unpleasant. It got stronger the closer Hoseok got. The more he felt his warm breath on his neck. The longer their hands were holding.

"Can I kiss you again?" Hyungwon suddenly asked with a hint of hesitation in his voice.

"No."

\--

In the morning while they were getting ready for school Hyungwon asked him the same question. Only to get cut off by Hoseok again.

Through the whole day Hyungwon would ask him every single time when there was no one around. Still getting cut off.

After school Hoseok was waiting for Hyungwon for around 10 or even 15 minutes. He had told him he'd got some important work to do. Hoseok was getting bored and started walking around. Definitely not expecting to see Hyungwon with his girlfriend behind a corner. " _Important work, my ass,_ " Hoseok muttered under his nose and went back home alone. For a second day in a row.

He received a few texts a few minutes after he had gotten home.

_"Wonho where are you"_   
_"you were supposed to wait for me"_   
_"wonho..."_   
_"i'm serious, don't tell me you've gone home without me"_   
_"i just wish you'd appear from somewhere because if you're trying to tease me it's not funny"_   
_"shin hoseok i cannot bELIEVE..."_

"You didn't wait for me." Hoseok heard Hyungwon's voice behind himself. He turned to face him. The taller was out of breath, his hair dishevelled, random strands poking at every direction possible.

"Did you actually run all the way to my house?" Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

"No shit, Sherlock." Hyungwon rolled his eyes. "I wanted you to wait for me because I had to--"

"Be with your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend anymore."

Hoseok's eyes widened. "You... you actually..." Hyungwon simply gave him a nod. "I'm sorry..." Hoseok slowly pulled the other into a hug, resting his chin on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't wait for you."

\--

They spent the rest of the day eating ramen and watching cartoons. Before heading home, Hyungwon stopped at Hoseok's window and sat there.

"Wonho?"

"What?" Hoseok asked while collecting the empty cups of ramen and throwing them in the waste bin afterwards. He walked over to Hyungwon.

"I want to kiss you."

"Me too."

Hyungwon grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him closer, closing the gap between their lips. After pulling away from Hoseok he licked his lips teasingly.

"Good night~" He said sweetly and jumped out of his best friend's room.

Hoseok sat back on his bed. Maybe a bit dumbfounded by Hyungwon's kissing skills. Or just because of the fact that his lips tasted amazing against his own.

" _What the fuck was that._.."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i know what im doing nothing is rushed i promise


	6. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know you may think im updating this way too fast  
> i mean  
> i uploaded three chapters yesterday  
> but im in hospital and got nothing better to do :D i swear im not like that when im home

As soon as Hoseok arrived in the classroom, his eyes started wandering, searching for one particular figure. He saw it by the window, talking to Kihyun and Minhyuk. "Oi, Hyungwon!"

Hyungwon's gaze shifted to the male, standing at the door. Hoseok was making gestures for him to go outside in the hallway. Hyungwon tilted his head slightly, confused by Hoseok's gestures.

"Just follow me before I come and drag your ass outside myself," Hoseok shouted and walked out in the hallway, followed by Hyungwon soon after. The taller was still with the same confused expression glued on his face. Hoseok pulled him as close as possible, so no one could hear their conversation.

"Why is your mother calling mine to ask if we're gay?" Hoseok straightforwardly asked, leaning on the window in front if their classroom.

"She's been doing that for two years. Why are you asking me now?"

"I _seriously_ don't know, after all, I'm not the one who _kissed_ you on a _god damn window._ " Hoseok was gradually raising his voice with each word he said.

"Your window has a view to the backyard of your house, not the street."

"Oh..."

Hyungwon raised his hand as if he was going to slap Hoseok, but didn't do it. Hoseok crouched slightly any ways. He never knew if Hyungwon was going to actually hit him or was just fooling around with him. Instead Hyungwon ruffled the other's hair and pulled him into his embrace. "Let's go back to class before you jump to another assumption."

\--

Their first class for the day was math. Hyungwon was kind of good at it, but he couldn't focus and think in such an early hour. Hoseok on the other hand... **Tragic**. He didn't know math at all. Not that he put in an effort to do anything in class. According to his logic you're either good at it or not. Hyungwon had tried to explain that it depended on him, too. But Hoseok didn't agree. It was something Hyungwon called "Wonho's stubborn logic".

During math classes Hoseok was either on his phone or causing ruckus around in the room. Once in year two he was kicked out of school for a week because he was trying to set a pencil on fire. He had promised that he wouldn't cause so much trouble in year three since he was going to try acting like "A Grown Man", but you could never trust Hoseok about these things.

Obviously, his idea of not causing trouble and being a grown man this year was being on his phone all the time, either watching videos or texting. It didn't seem like the teacher minded anymore. As soon as he was quiet and she could teach her lesson in peace, everything was okay.

He sent a video to Changkyun who was also on his phone at that time. After the boy watched it he turned to Hoseok, visibly trying to hold his laughter. The teacher noticed them as soon as she heard Changkyun's suppressed giggles.

"Hoseok, you know I don't bother you anymore about not paying attention in class, but, please, don't involve others," she said with a sharp voice. "Changkyun is _still_ one of my students with better grades from the rest."

"Sorry."

"Why don't you do something at least once?" Hyungwon turned to his best friend. Maybe he was starting to get a bit annoyed.

"I did. In year one." Hyungwon was so done with Hoseok's shit that he didn't even bother saying anything. He suddenly got up and dragged the other's desk close to his own.

"Are you forcing me into doing math???" Hoseok whined dramatically after he pulled his chair and sat down next to Hyungwon. "I thought you were my best friend. I feel betrayed."

"Shut up, drama queen, I have to make sure you actually graduate."

Hyungwon was really frustrated with Hoseok's lack of knowledge in math, because at times he couldn't even remember things that he had learned... _In junior high_.

"If I actually get a good score on the next test are you going to reward me?" Hoseok asked smugly.

"And what reward do you want?" Hoseok pointed at his lips, making Hyungwon shrug. "We'll see. Depends if you actually get your shit together and start studying."

"Don't worry about that," Hoseok grinned.

The fact that Hoseok still wanted Hyungwon to kiss him and wasn't entirely disgusted by him after what he did the previous day and even the day before, made Hyungwon sense that uncomfortable feeling in his stomach once again.

He was probably getting sick.

\--

Hyungwon actually didn't feel well later that day, so he had to skip volleyball practice and go home. He was trying his best to survive through every single class they had left. He hadn't told Hoseok about it. He didn't want to make him worry.

"Why are you heading home?" Hoseok asked.

The taller didn't like lying to people. Especially if it was Hoseok. "I'm just not feeling well. Don't worry about it."

"I'll come see you later." Hoseok gave him a quick hug and went to practice.

Hyungwon felt worse when he got home. Fortunately, his mother was home, too, and she took care of him. By the time Hoseok was done practising, Hyungwon had fallen asleep with a high fever.

When Hoseok got to the Chae's house he discovered Hyungwon's window was closed, not a bit open as it always was in order for him to climb in his room. He went and rang the doorbell only to be told by his mother that Hyungwon was really sick and she didn't want to risk Hoseok getting sick, too.

"I will call you as soon as he is feeling better," Hyungwon's mom smiled warmly.

"Thank you."

Mrs. Chae closed the door after Hoseok headed home.

Hyungwon's mother was not that comfortable with Hoseok constantly visiting them. She wasn't sure if she had to trust him. Not that she had talked to him that much. She never tried knowing him better and trying to understand why her son was so attached to him.

Then there was Hyungwon's dad who, despite showing up rarely because of his work, loved Hoseok almost as much as Hoseok's parents loved Hyungwon. They even went fishing once. Without Hyungwon. In fact, Hyungwon still didn't know his best friend and his father went fishing without him.

On the other hand, their moms got close. Mainly to discuss their sons' behaviour. They had their moments of "real" friendship between two moms, though.

Sometimes Hoseok felt like Hyungwon's mom wanted to keep him away from her son. Most of the time, if he had to be honest. She just had to get over the fact that Hyungwon had a real friend that happened to be a boy. An extremely clingy one.


	7. 6

Hyungwon wasn't in school for a second week already. No one was exactly sure if his condition was getting worse or it remained the same. All they knew was that it wasn't getting any better. Doctors weren't very reliable either. Mrs. Chae just hoped her son would get better in a few days and wouldn't need to be hospitalized. She couldn't watch her son like that.

Hoseok still wasn't allowed to go visit Hyungwon, though they were texting each other when Hyungwon wasn't half dead. Which happened so rarely. He was either asleep or feeling too bad to do anything.

Hoseok hadn't felt so lonely before. He missed Hyungwon's voice and the way he was calling him "Wonho". He never really got a proper explanation why was he calling him like that. But Hyungwon was the only one who could use that name.

It had been twelve days. On the thirteenth when Hosek was about to go back home he noticed Hyungwon's window slightly open. He heard VIXX's "Error" playing somewhat loudly from his best friend's room. Which meant his mother was at work.

Hoseok quickly ran home to leave his bag and change his clothes then went to the Chae's house and climbed through Hyungwon's window to see him sitting in bed, playing on his phone.

"Hyungwon!" Hoseok let out a little happy squeal. Hyungwon looked up at him. A wide smiled curved on his lips. Hoseok took his shoes off and went to Hyungwon, hugging him so tight that he must've taken out all the air in the boy's lungs.

"Be more careful, I'm still sick," Hyungwon warned but burried his face in the crook of Hoseok's neck and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer.

"I don't care. I've been away from you for too long." Hoseok lifted Hyungwon's head and looked into his eyes. They both looked so exhausted. Tired of being separated. "I missed you," Hoseok nearly weeped.

Hyungwon pressed their foreheads together. "I missed you, too." He pulled Hoseok down, so they were lying on top of each other. Hyungwon ran one hand up the other's hair, making him close his eyes and purr.

"Since you're still sick, I suppose I'm not allowed to kiss you?"

Hyungwon's heart jumped. His cheeks turned red almost immediately.

"You're not... What happened to " _I'm not kissing your ugly face_ " any ways?" Hoseok slowly opened his eyes and looked at the other.

"You're not from the prettiest people I've met, deal with it."

"Liar. I am the prettiest person you're going to meet. Ever."

Hoseok sighed with a smile. He gently pecked the other's lips and rested his head on his chest.

" **HOSEOK**!"

"I don't care if I get sick, okay?"

"You should. Because if you're sick, you're going to make me worry and I will have to take care of you because it would be my fault I let it happen."

"Just promise me that from now on you're not going to leave me alone for more than two days."

Hyungwon stopped the music that was still playing as a background noise and hugged Hoseok. "I promise."

Mrs. Chae couldn't even count all the times she had caught the boys cuddling. It reached a point where she even started thinking it's one of the most normal things they're doing. But this time it seemed so different. She wasn't sure if she realized it by the way Hyungwon was holding Hoseok so firmly or by the fact that they were both smiling in their sleep.

Probably for the first time, she felt truly happy that Hoseok was a part of Hyungwon's life.

\--

Despite his promise, Hyungwon's condition was still pretty bad and he wasn't allowed to get close to Hoseok once again. They were allowed to stay in the same room, though.

"I'm sorry I'm putting you through this," Hyungwon was looking at Hoseok with an apologetic expression.

Hoseok was sitting on the ground, his back pressed against the wall opposite of Hyungwon's bed. "It's not your fault. At least I get to see you this time... You'll be fine."

"I hope so... It's been three weeks..."

\--

One more week passed and Hyungwon was back in school. The moment he arrived in the classroom, Minhyuk jumped on him just like a koala. Jooheon was recording it.

"Hyungwonie~ I missed you so much!!! I was the only one, I swear!!!"

"Don't listen to him, we all missed you," Kihyun said while trying to get Minhyuk off of Hyungwon who now looked like a mother koala with her adorable baby.

"Minhyuk, go be clingy with your boyfriend and leave mine alone," Hoseok called from his desk.

"Oho ho?" Jooheon put his phone down.

"Oho ho ho?" Changkyun joined Jooheon, peeking from behind him.

"Since when am I your boyfriend?" Hyungwon glared at Hoseok.

"Since the day you met, _duh_ ," Minhyuk said, still not letting go of Hyungwon.

"Couldn't have put it better," Changkyun agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for shamelessly adding a haikyuu reference haha


	8. 7

"Hyungwon, do you think I'd look good if I bleached my hair?" Hoseok asked while looking at himself in the mirror in Hyungwon's bathroom.

Hyungwon went to the bathroom with a quiet groan. He turned Hoseok to face him and tried to imagine him with bleached hair. "Hmm... I'm not sure... Your skin is pretty pale... But I can try bleaching your hair. If you're uglier than usual I've always got black dye."

"Thanks for the support, bro."

"Sure thing." Hyungwon started playing with the other's hair gently.

Hoseok ended up pressed against the washbasin, his arms wrapped around Hyungwon's waist, pulling him closer and closer. He had no self control as soon as Hyungwon's fingers touched him in a certain way. Hyungwon knew most of his weak spots so perfectly. It drove him crazy.

Both Hoseok and Hyungwon were used to experimenting with hair colours, but they were used to more natural looks. Unlike Minhyuk who was either going through a phase or just wanted his hair to be whiter than the walls in school. It's true Hyungwon went blonde once, but everyone agreed to not talk about it. It was just better that way.

They were dying each other's hair because of what happened to Changkyun when he went to a hairdresser to bleach his hair. He learned not to trust hairdressers the hard way. He had black strands of hair here and there and no matter how damaged his scalp was already, he had to go again.

"Do you remember what happened to Changkyun when they bleached him, though? You could see burns and even blood all over his scalp without even searching for them. Yours is pretty sensitive," Hyungwon remarked.

"It's sensitive only when you're touching it like this." A soft grunt escaped Hoseok's mouth as Hyungwon's fingers ran down his neck. He rested his forehead on the taller's shoulder.

Suddenly Hyungwon stopped everything he was doing. He just froze. "Wonho..."

"What?" Hoseok lifted his head and looked at Hyungwon with a confused expression.

" _Are you hard_?"

"...No."

"You're so gross. Let go of me before mom sees us." Hyungwon freed himself from Hoseok's hands and went back to his room.

\--

At 12am Hyungwon received a text from Hoseok. Just when he was about to watch anime.

" _COME HERE I THOUGHT I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY HAIR MYSELF BUT I FUCKED UP SO BAD_ "

He got out of bed with a loud annoyed groan. He was quietly cursing under his breath. The poor boy had just gotten comfortable in bed.

He walked through the front door because Hoseok's parents weren't home for the night and he didn't have to worry about waking them up. He went to the bathroom after he heard Hoseok quietly weeping.

Hoseok was sitting on the bathroom tiles, his knees brought up to his chest. He looked up at Hyungwon with a broken expression. His hair was a mess. The bathroom was a mess. It felt like his whole life was a wreck at that moment.

Hyungwon kneeled down in front of him and put a hand on his cheek. "Don't worry, I'm here. You're going to be fine."

"I feel like my skin is burning," Hoseok cried.

"I'll take care of you, everything is going to be okay, I promise." Hyungwon placed a peck on Hoseok's forehead.

Two hours later Hyungwon was done bleaching his best friend's hair. He was trying to be as careful as he could be the whole time but couldn't do much about it since Hoseok's head was badly burnt already.

Hoseok was drying his hair in the bathroom while Hyungwon was sitting in his bed. The taller boy was half asleep and felt how his eyelids were getting heavier with every second that passed. The moment Hoseok turned off the hairdryer and its sound stopped resonating in Hyungwon's ears, he felt like all his prayers were heard.

"Are you done?" Hyungwon asked sleepily.

"Yeah..." Hoseok answered. His voice sounded unsure.

"Lemme see."

"I... I don't think it looks good... I don't know..."

"Hoseok, I'm too tired to deal with your shit, just come here and let me see you."

Hoseok walked into the room but he was facing the ground. Even when he sat on the bed next to Hyungwon he made sure his face wasn't visible.

Hyungwon sighed. "I want to see your face." The other didn't do it. He was quiet. Way too quiet. It didn't suit him. He wasn't like that. He wasn't the kind to get anxious over his looks. " _Please_."

Hoseok turned to Hyungwon slowly. His body visibly trembled for a second.

Hyungwon felt his jaw drop. As his eyes widened Hoseok looked away immediately.

"Does it look that bad?" Hoseok mumbled under his nose, sadness hinted in his voice.

" _Wonho_..." Hyungwon's voice was more like a whisper. " _You're beautiful_." He moved closer to the other and forced him to face him again. He brushed his thumb against Hoseok's cheekbone slowly while studying his face. " _Too beautiful_."

"D-Don't say that," Hoseok stuttered, his face turning a bright red.

"I'm telling you the truth." Hyungwon pulled Hoseok into a slow passionate kiss, trying to comb the other's hair carefully. From time to time he could feel the burns on his head and Hoseok jolted slightly every time Hyungwon's fingers ran over a burnt spot.

They kept making out for more than five minutes. They were both out of breath, gripping at each other's T-shirts. Obviously Hyungwon had forgotten how tired he was. He wanted to continue kissing Hoseok and that was the only thing on his mind. He had lately discovered he actually liked doing it. But that was all. It wasn't that special. It just brought him pleasure as much as holding hands with Hoseok did. For the first time he felt something more than that.

He wanted to feel more. To get closer. He was aware that they had gone way too far already and they were probably putting their friendship at risk, but it wasn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre best friends i swear


	9. 8

"Aaah!" Minhyuk squealed as he saw Hoseok. "It suits you so much! I could even say you actually look pretty!"

Hoseok got slightly flustered. Of course, Hyungwon noticed it. He noticed how the other's cheeks turned a vivid red, contrasting his hair. And he looked _so pretty_. "Thanks," Hoseok mumbled.

"Did it hurt?" Minhyuk asked while trying to touch Hoseok's hair but his fingers brushed against his scalp and Hoseok felt the same sharp stinging pain. "Yeah it probably did." Minhyuk quickly pulled his hand away.

"A lot. I tried bleaching it myself first, but I fucked up and had to call Hyungwon."

" _At 12am_ ," Hyungwon added.

"You have to be there of your beloved one all the time. Am I not right?" Minhyuk winked sweetly.

Hyungwon visibly shivered. "There's no way I should know that." He simply got up and walked out of the room without saying anything else. Minhyuk and Hoseok looked at the door confused. Then at each other. Then at the door again.

"What's with him?" Minhyuk turned to Hoseok again. The other responded with a shrug.

"Beats me."

As soon as Changkyun got in class, Hoseok was welcomed by his Tips How To Treat Burns After Bleaching™. Which was very nice of him, really. They didn't even talk to each other that often but _holy shit, Changkyun, you're helping a lot but I think I got into a fight with Hyungwon and I don't know why, please, **stop talking**._

Fortunately Jooheon noticed Hoseok's mind was elsewhere, so he wrapped his arm around Changkyun's waist and pulled him over, making him sit on his lap.

"But I want to talk to him more," Changkyun pouted.

"Two years later and you suddenly want to talk to him? Are you sick?"

"No? How dare you ask me such thing?" Changkyun acted offended.

"I think he's having other things to worry about right now, just leave him be," Jooheon whispered into Changkyun's ear and pulled him closer, kissing him on the cheek. Changkyun nodded and snuggled in Jooheon. Changkyun and Jooheon's relationship was quite complicated - just like Hosoek and Hyungwon's. Okay, maybe not that complicated. They had confessed to each other a long time ago. Didn't do anything about it, though. Just started feeling more comfortable around each other. Even sharing kisses from time to time.

Hyungwon didn't show up the whole day. But he was waiting for Hoseok to finish his volleyball practice. The other didn't know that. As Hoseok was going out of the gym he was met by Hyungwon's eyes, staring deeply into his own. He walked towards the taller male and stopped in front of him.

"What is your reason for starting _unnecessary drama_?" Hoseok bit out. Hyungwon sighed and shoved his hand in the pocket of Hoseok's hoodie. Hoseok copied his motion and grabbed the other's hand. "Where were you?"

"Home."

"And why did you come back here?"

"I don't want you to walk alone."

The corners of Hoseok's mouth curled in a warm smile. "Wanna come over to my house and eat ramen? Maybe play something?"

"I can't. Your mom somehow found out about the whole bleaching accident and assumed I have something to with it, so she called my mom and now I'm kinda grounded... _I fucking helped you_ , why am I grounded? _That's fucking unfair_."

"Shut up, Whiny-won," Hoseok placed a quick kiss on Hyungwon's lips and grinned teasingly as he saw his best friend's expression.

" _Are you stupid_?! What if some saw us?!"

"I don't care." Hyungwon blushed gripping the shorter's hand tighter.

They started walking home, but it soon turned into a competition who can catch more Pokemon. The moment Hyungwon's mother called, he realized it's after 10pm.

" _Shit_ ," Hyungwon froze. Both of them were staring at the screen of the boy's phone. "What do I do?"

Suddenly Hoseok's phone started ringing, too. The look on his face showed how horrified he was after he discovered it was his dad. "They're going to kill us! I'm too young!"

"Me too! I can't die a virgin," Hyungwon cried.

Hoseok threw him a stern look. "Our parents are going to kill us and you're concerned about being virgin?"

"Obviously," Hyungwon rolled his eyes and picked up his phone, putting it on speaker. "Hi, mo--"

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Mrs. Chae was yelling from the other side with all the strenght her lungs gave her.

"I was going to walk home with Hoseok but... we got distracted and were catching Pokemon until now..."

"What?... I thought you two were running away from home because I grounded you..."

"Mom, have you gone mad?"

"With a son like you, yes." She took a deep sigh. "Just come home, okay?" She hung up and Hyungwon and Hoseok burst out laughing.

They went back in their homes. Hoseok got scolded by his parents for being out so late and bleaching his hair without telling them, but he got away without getting grounded. Unlike some people.

Hyungwon and Hoseok were both waiting for the other to text first. Hoseok couldn't get out of his mind what had happened the previous night, his fingers subconsciously tracing over his lips. Hyungwon finally lost it and called the other.

"Woah, I swear, the last time we talked on the phone was a year ago," Hoseok said right after he picked up.

"It's 4:30am, why are you awake?" Hyungwon asked with a soft worried voice.

"I can't sleep."

"You can always come sleep with me, you know. You usually fall asleep fast when you're in my arms." The other side of the line fell silent for a moment. "Wonho?"

"I'll be there in five minutes."

And he was there exactly 5 minutes later. He crawled under the covers of Hyungwon's bed and burried his face against the boy's chest.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok whispered, his voice muffled by Hyungwon's T-shirt. "I'm not used to sleeping without you next to me."

"Me too... Go to sleep now."

Hyungwon lightly kissed Hoseok on the forehead and wrapped his arms around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will write a more detailed chapter about jookyun's relationship in the near future that will kind of explain why its so complicated
> 
> \--
> 
> im trying to overcome my anxiety and answer the cute comments you leave  
> im sorry if i take too long sometimes  
> i hope youre all healthy and getting enough sleep  
> ♡
> 
> p.s. ive got ikon stickers on kakaotalk and i wanna use them, so talk to me ╥﹏╥ im desperate  
> my id is sassytooru13


	10. 8.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're reading this it's too late

Changkyun's parents have never been okay with him doing what they haven't told him to.

_Don't eat a lot or you will get fat, act manly, don't show emotions, focus on your studies not on going out, go to school, study the hardest, have the best grades in everything, finish school, go to university, study the hardest, have the best grades in everything, finish university, find a job, find a wife, have kids, don't turn into the family's disgrace._

He got repeated that almost every day. Every time his actions didn't meet his parents' expectations, they would make him study even more. They didn't let him go out with friends. He had to be good at everything. He wasn't allowed anything that would distract him from studying. He had given up on arguing with them. Always ending up with being grounded broke him.

Accepting the fact his parents had planned his future, never asking him what he wanted, ruined him the most. It was pointless having dreams to follow. Every time someone asked him what he dreamed of, he mumbled "nothing" or simply walked away, avoiding more questions and " _You're still young, the whole life is in front of you, you should dream_ ".

 _What life? What dreams?_ He wasn't allowed to have any of that.

Being free wasn't a familiar feeling.

He wasn't even allowed to love who he wanted to. But he did. He loved _so much_. He had such a big heart that held so much love, but he was taught to be cold, so he couldn't express it at first. He acted distant from everyone.

Lee Jooheon was the first person who dared to get closer to him, who was able to see the real Changkyun and not the one his parents told him to be. The first to know about how things were in Changkyun's, _so called_ , family. The only one to support him. Jooheon taught him how to love and gave him the freedom he never had. He was taking so much care of Changkyun. He even brought food for him from time to time just to make sure the boy ate enough, fully aware of the fact that his parents gave him small portions or even leftovers. It was so obvious. The way his parents treated him reflected on both his physical and mental health and Jooheon was trying so hard to fix it. To be the family he never had and wasn't allowed to dream of.

At first, Changkyun was so scared of the feelings he experienced. He had no idea what they were. No idea what it was called. Because it was just not familiar. Feeling a lump in his throat every time he talked to Jooheon, his knees getting weaker, a strange ache in his stomach, a living chaos inside his head, his heart beating faster and even skipping beats. It was so abnormal. All of it.

He wanted to make sure he wasn't sick, so he looked it up on Naver just to discover that what was happening to him was called "love". _Love_? Wasn't that one of the things that would distract him from being successful according to his parents?

_"Jooheon?" Changkyun turned to the other while they were on a school trip after they had just arrived in their hotel room and unpacked. Just looking at Jooheon made him uneasy. He was biting the inside of his mouth nervously, trying to get his shit together and just say how he felt._

_"Yes?" The other boy glanced at Changkyun, noticing how tense he was._

_"Have you ever been in love with someone? Like... Really in love."_

_Jooheon took a while to answer. "Yes, I have. Even now. Why do you ask?"_

_Jooheon had someone he loved. **He had someone who probably wasn't Changkyun**. The shorter boy changed his mind. He didn't want to confess. He regretted starting that conversation. He could handle pretending he didn't love Jooheon. Just like he pretended he didn't feel every emotion he wasn't allowed to express. It was better that way for the both of them._

_"N-no reason..." Changkyun looked away._

_"Do you, by any chance, love someone right now?"_

_Changkyun fell silent. He could almost feel blood in his mouth from biting so hard at the insides of it._

_"You know you can tell me everything," Jooheon reminded._

_"I really don't know if I'm in love... I'm not sure... It would cause a lot of trouble... With my parents and all..." The boy was doing his best not to stutter. He was scolded a lot for stuttering. He feared his parents even when they weren't around. Even when he could afford being himself. Sometimes he received flashbacks from when he was a child and they used to beat him up every time he wasn't speaking properly. Terrifying._

_"Think of your own happiness. At least once. Please." Jooheon wrapped an arm around Changkyun's shoulders._

_"I can't..."_

_"Of course you can. You're with me. You can do everything you're not allowed to when you're with me."_

_"Well..." Changkyun bit on his lower lip. He leaned closer to Jooheon's ear. "I think I'm in love with you," he whispered. He didn't move away. Avoiding the other boy's gaze was the easiest thing he could do at that moment._

_"I feel the same," Jooheon whispered back._

_"So..."_

_"We can't--"_

_"We can't do anything about it," Changkyun interrupted, finishing Jooheon's sentence. "I know. Don't worry. I understand." He gave the taller a quick hug. "We both know that being together right now would be the worst decision we could make."_

_"Yeah..."_

Changkyun knew Jooheon's family wasn't very easy on him either. His father, to be more exact. They were a lot more accepting, though. They let him do most things. He wasn't forced into studying that much. He was able to plan his own future. But that was where the good things ended.

Jooheon was used to his (extremely homophobic and abusive) father's actions. He was used to him getting drunk and hitting him or throwing whatever objects he could get close to at him. Didn't even flinch anymore. He was so tired of it.

He reached a point where he didn't care at all. All he was scared of was that some day his father would hurt his mother. She was safe until she acted like she approved everything Jooheon's dad did. Staying away from fights. Just watching how her son was being treated. Not being able to do anything.

She had apologized to Jooheon so many times. Apologized how she was stupid enough to think that his dad was a good person and would take care of the both of them. How she can't stand up against him. How she is too scared to divorce him. Jooheon didn't blame her for anything. He would hug her and tell her that one day he would make sure both of them lived away from his father and in peace. He was ready to afford the best life for her as soon as he was able to. " _As soon as I graduate and find a job_ ," he would say. " _We're going to live much better._ "

Graduating seemed so far away. He wanted to be able to do something for her sooner, so he started a part time job after school, but his father started tormenting him about that, too. It just never ended.

Until he met Changkyun, Jooheon had talked about that with his mother and psychologists only. Though Changkyun couldn't help a lot, he was always there to listen to the other. Just with his presence Changkyun supported him. He wasn't saying much but it was obvious how much he wanted to be useful by the way he looked at Jooheon. With the most apologetic expression that could break Jooheon's heart.

Nothing made him feel worse than seeing Changkyun being so uneasy with expressing his feelings (and seeing his mother cry). It had taken him almost a year to make the boy smile and when he actually did, Jooheon fell in love. It was so sudden but he was aware of his feelings.

Around a week later he asked his mom what to do. He knew how homophobic his dad was. He would've literally _killed_ his son if he ever found out he was like that. His mother accepted him no matter what, though. Of course she would. She was always there for him and him coming out to her couldn't change anything. But, no matter how much she wanted her son to br happy, she told him that if Changkyun had the same feelings for him, getting into a relationship at that time was so risky that it was even impossible to happen.

She had tried talking to her husband and softening him a bit about that kind of relationships, but always stepped back when she felt his blood was starting to boil. She gave up trying. Once again. She felt defeated.

As soon as Changkyun didn't like Jooheon, everything was fine, but what he had not expected was Changkyun actually confessing. They were in the middle of their second year of high school.

_"One day we will be together," Jooheon whispered. "Just wait and see. I will make you the happiest. It's a promise."_

_Changkyun held onto Jooheon's hand as if his life depended on never letting go of it. "You already are making me the happiest," the shorter said and pressed his lips against the other's gently._

One day Changkyun, Jooheon and Jooheon's mother were going to get the happiness they deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THATS THE ANGSTIEST THING IVE WRITTEN PLEASE END ME  
> IM OFFING MYSELF


	11. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has pre smut content dont tell me i havent warned you (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hoseok woke up to Hyungwon's sleeping face. Wasn't the first time and most likely not the last, but this time it felt so _different_. He felt so at home.

Hyungwon's embrace was the safest place on Earth. Hoseok wasn't used to showing when he was scared when they were watching horror movies. Sometimes he would do it just as an excuse to be hugged by Hyungwon. Other times he would just simply say "hug me" and Hyungwon would do it. There were the times when Hyungwon would hug him just because he felt like he needed to.

The thing he loved the most was when Hyungwon hugged him from behind and his lips were touching the back of his neck. They slept like that really often. Hyungwon would sometimes kiss the back of Hoseok's neck in his sleep and it made Hoseok's stomach twist.

When he opened his eyes and saw Hyungwon's face he felt his heart beating faster. He brushed the back of his hand against Hyungwon's cheek, trying his best not to wake him up. He suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. But that would've been really weird to explain if his best friend woke up to himself being kissed. So Hoseok continued lightly caressing Hyungwon's cheek.

He didn't stop even when he felt that Hyungwon was waking up. Hyungwon slowly opened his eyes and looked at Hoseok.

"What are you doing?" Hyungwon asked with a husky voice.

Hoseok rested his hand on Hyungwon's cheek and smiled. "Nothing," he responded calmly, his smile growing wider.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hyungwon lifted his upper half from the bed, leaning on his elbows. He looked like he was ready to go back to sleep for 20 more hours.

"You're pretty while you're asleep," Hoseok answered.

"So I'm not pretty enough when I'm awake? Should I go back to sleep or something?" Hyungwon chuckled. His eyes widened as he realized Hoseok had his lips pressed against his own. He lazily rolled over and got on top of Hoseok, subconsciously rolling his hips against the other's pelvis. Hoseok was awake enough to stop him and pull away.

" _Hyungwon, your mom_..."

"She's not home. She's at work." Hyungwon continued kissing Hoseok and grinding his hips against him. " _Move with me_."

Hoseok thought for a second but then gripped Hyungwon's hips, trying to get used to Hyungwon's pace. " _S-shit_... Hyungwon, you're hard." Hoseok was panting heavily under the other.

"It's called morning wood. You have it, too."

Hoseok hadn't realized it until Hyungwon voiced it out. Both of them were already used to that because they had woken up together so many times that they stopped paying attention to it. "... _Fuck_ ," Hoseok cursed under his breath. His hands ran up to Hyungwon's T-shirt and took it off with ease, tossing it aside afterwards. Hyungwon's lips moved down to Hoseok's neck, sucking on it from time to time. He was trying his best not to leave marks, but he liked how Hoseok's moans were getting louder every time he hit a more sensitive spot. 

Hyungwon's hands were roaming under Hoseok's T-shirt, feeling his muscular body.

" _J-just take it off already_ ," Hoseok threw his head backwards, digging his nails in Hyungwon's shoulders.

"Desperate?" Hyungwon grinned.

" _Mhnn_..." Hoseok bit on his lower lip. " _P-please_..."

Suddenly Hoseok and Hyungwon heard the front door unlock. Their eyes widened as they stopped and looked at each other, realizing what they were doing.

"Your mom?" Hoseok whispered.

"I don't know." Before Hyungwon had the time to panic, Hoseok kicked him out of the bed and got up.

"Hyungwon?" Mrs. Chae called from the living room. "Are you okay?"

"...Y-yes, mom! Don't worry. I just dropped something." He quickly got up and put on his T-shirt. " _Hoseok_ , go home," he said as quietly as he could.

"Okay..."

\--

They didn't talk for the rest of the weekend. They didn't talk even on Monday when they were back in school. Minhyuk gathered Kihyun, Changkyun, Jooheon and Hyunwoo.

"They're acting awkward with each other. Why?" Minhyuk asked.

"One of them confessed but the other doesn't feel the same?" Changkyun suggested

"I don't think that would happen between them, they both like each other," Hyunwoo shrugged.

"What other reason would they have?" Minhyuk continued thinking of anything that could've possibly happened. "They're fighting from time to time, but they've never been awkward. They can't even look into each other's eyes!"

"They kissed and now they feel embarrassed?" Jooheon supposed.

"Nah," Kihyun, Changkyun and Minhyuk cut him off.

"We all know they've kissed at least twice til now." Kihyun sat on a desk. "What if..." His face looked like he had just found the answer to the universe's biggest question. "What if they did something more than that?" The others gasped. Kihyun got up and dragged a chair between Hyungwon and Hoseok's desks, clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry for asking like this, but _did you two fuck_?"

Hoseok and Hyungwon glared at Kihyun. "No!"

"You could've been more discreet!" Minhyuk called from behind Kihyun.

"Then why are you so awkward with each other?!"

" _Fuck off_ ," Hoseok muttered, glancing back at his phone.

Kihyun gave up on trying to talk to them. He slowly retreated to the others.

\--

After volleyball practice Hyungwon and Hoseok were the only ones left in the changing room because Hyunwoo made the talk to each other and settle things. They sat on opposite benches, avoiding each other's eyes.

"Hyungwon, what are we even doing?" Hoseok warily looked at the other.

"I don't know..." Hyungwon mumbled.

"If we continue doing this we're going to get too carried away. You realize that, right?" Hyungwon nodded. "We've gone too far already."

"Kissing was enough of a big deal already. I realize I was the one who started all this--"

" _Don't blame it on yourself_ ," Hoseok quickly interrupted. "We both started it. I didn't stop you, so it continued. But this time it should seriously stop before we do something we're surely going to regret."

"Yeah..."

Hyungwon sighed and got up. He lifted Hoseok's chin, kissing him for probably the last time.

"I'm going to miss this," Hoseok smiled against Hyungwon's lips, pulling him back for a quick peck.

"As soon as you find a girlfriend, I'm pretty sure you won't have that problem," Hyungwon laughed and took his bag. "I'll wait for you outside."

Hoseok's gaze shifted to the ground as soon as the other walked out. " _Yeah... Girlfriend..._ "

He didn't want a girlfriend. He didn't even need one. It was the last thing on his mind. All he wanted was to spend time with Hyungwon. Nothing else.

He was sitting like that for a few minutes until Hyungwon came back to scold him for taking too long just to discover that in fact he hadn't moved from the bench.

"Are you okay?"

Hoseok hadn't heard Hyungwon walk in, so he was a bit startled at first. "Yeah... I'm fine. I was just thinking." He got up and followed the taller outside.

_He wasn't fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna try writing the next chapter better haha


	12. 10

"I like you."

Hoseok looked at the boy, standing in front of him. "Do you realize what you just said? You're actually sure you like me in _that_ way?"

_They were behind school, all alone, because the boy had wanted to talk to him before their classes started. And Hoseok didn't suspect anything. He just said "Sure, why not?"_

The boy nodded somewhat nervously, looking away. He did a good job suppressing the heat that was trying to rise in his cheeks. "I'm more than sure."

"And you want me to give you a chance?" The boy nodded again. Hoseok sighed and leaned his back on the wall next to him. "You realize I'm not into boys, right?"

"You're curious enough to try it, though." Hoseok could feel the grin in the other's voice. _It was so obvious it hurt._

Hoseok laughed loudly. "I haven't even taken you on a first date and you're already being sassy with me... You're right, though. I'm curious. But that doesn't mean I'm actually going to do it. I'm not sure."

"I will give you time to think. Meet me after school if you have an actual answer different from ' _not sure_ '. Okay?"

"Okay."

\--

Minhyuk was talking with Changkyun about something that looked somewhat important, but not enough for Hyungwon to be a part of their conversation. He didn't care that much and didn't want to invade their personal space.

"He's talking to him _now_?"

"Well, they both haven't arrived and he said they're going to talk before the classes started. It just makes me think that they actually met up," Changkyun explained.

Minhyuk lowered his voice. "Does Hyungwon know?" Hyungwon heard it. And despite Minhyuk lowering his voice, he heard it well.

"I don't think so."

Hyungwon let out an annoyed sigh. "Minhyuk, Changkyun, _you're both literally next to me and realize I can hear you, right_?" Changkyun walked away as fast as he could.

Minhyuk smiled at Hyungwon. "It's nothing to worry about, really. We were just talking."

\--

"Where is Hoseok?" Kihyun tilted his head, looking around the classroom.

"He left after the second period without saying anything," Hyungwon shrugged. He looked like he didn't care, but, in fact, he was slightly worried. Unlike himself, Hoseok would never leave without warning.

" _Where are you_?" He texted Hoseok.

Fortunately Hoseok texted back only a few minutes later? " _Why? Are you that worried I left haha_ "

" _Kihyun asked_."

" _fuck off_ "

Okay. Hyungwon tried to think rationally. But he could only think of the possibility that it was his fault that his best friend was moody again. It made him feel bad. Hoseok was pouty enough after they had a serious talk the previous day. He didn't really want things to end like that, but wasn't it for the better? Best friends shouldn't act like that. That's all.

\--

Changkyun warily walked towards Hyungwon. He still wasn't very comfortable with the taller. Mostly shy to talk to him more freely. Though, he really wanted to, because he thought Hyungwon looked really nice and friendly. Even Jooheon had reassured he was like that. "Hyungwon, do you have time to talk?"

"Of course," Hyungwon got up and walked out in the hallway with Changkyun. "What is it? You seem worried. Problems with Jooheon?"

"Eh? N-no!" Changkyun was quick to answer, being slightly surprised that his " _boyfriend_ " was mentioned. "The others wanted to keep it a secret from you but... Kihyun confessed to Hoseok."

"Why are you so nervous telling me this?" Hyungwon was trying to make it more comfortable for the other. He had to pick his words more carefully than ever.

"Because you we all know you like him and it would suck if you find out in another way..."

"I will stop you here," Hyungwon put a hand on Changkyun's shoulder. "First, I don't like him. You can be 100% sure in that. Second, he has the right to be with whoever he wants to and if it's Kihyun I'm fine with it. And lastly, I want you to be more comfortable when you're talking with me, okay? I don't bite I promise." Hyungwon smiled.

Changkyun snorted. "Okay."

So, Kihyun liked Hoseok. _That was okay._ As long as Hyungwon believed it, it was more than okay. Thinking about it, lately Kihyun was actually trying to get closer to Hoseok. Hyungwon didn't even suspect there was something.

_Everything was fine._

\--

Hoseok was waiting behind school. Kihyun showed up a minute or two after the bell rang.

"Why did you leave earlier?" Kihyun asked as he stopped in front of Hoseok.

"I needed some alone time to think."

"And your answer is?"

"I will give you a chance, but I can't promise you anything." He wasn't sure at all. He wasn't sure if he wanted this, if he really liked Kihyun or it was just because Kihyun told him he liked him. He also didn't want Kihyun to be sad just because he couldn't respond to his feelings. He was just so confused.

A bright smile spread on Kihyun's face. Hoseok pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Kihyun. The other looked so happy. _He wished he was happy, too._

\--

As soon as he came back home Hoseok called Hyungwon. After a short talk about how their days went, Hoseok decided to finally get to the point. "I think I'm dating Kihyun."

Hyungwon couldn't suppress his chuckle. "I'm sorry, but... You _think_?"

"I don't know, I'm really confused."

"Why so?"

"He's a boy."

" **You don't say**."

Before they could say anything else, Hyungwon's mother barged in his room to ask him who he was talking to. Sometimes Hyungwon lived in fear that she was listening to every conversation he had had in his whole life. Even when she wasn't around. He felt like he was being watched by her all the time. He was going to proove it some day.

Hyungwon apologized and hung up, leaving Hoseok alone with his thoughts.

Earlier the same day Kihyun asked why Hoseok was not in school. _Kihyun_. _Not Hyungwon_. Hoseok wasn't even sure if Hyungwon cared about that. While Kihyun was obviously concerned. And Hyungwon wasn't. Maybe Hoseok made the right choice. He just had to get used to Kihyun. He had to learn to love someone different from Hyungwon.

Going to sleep was currently the only way he could've escaped from his problems. But he couldn't sleep.

Hyungwon had a hard time falling asleep, too. He was constantly rolling in bed, not being able to find a comfortable position he could sleep in. His bed seemed so empty.


	13. 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for updating so late but im working on the jookyun spin off (i uploaded the first three chapters!!)  
> and depression kinda hit me so i currently feel more comfortable writing the spin off  
> i cant promise i will be able to update every day because im working on a cosplay and trying to finish a drawing of wonho but i hope im as active as i want to be

Hoseok had switched seats with Hyunwoo, so he was sitting next to Kihyun (and Hyunwoo - next to Minhyuk). Hyungwon was left alone. At least he could focus on studying for once. He had to get over the fact _Hoseok had a boyfriend_... And that it was Kihyun. He knew he had to be happy for them. _But he wasn't_. Hoseok looked happy, though. If he was happy, Hyungwon had to be, too, even if that meant not spending time with his best friend.

"You seem down," Jooheon remarked, leaning on Hyungwon's desk. "As if a truck ran over you or something."

" _I really wonder why_ ," Hyungwon rolled his eyes sarcastically, gesturing at Hoseok and Kihyun. _Oh, **great,** they're holding hands._

"How do you feel about their relationship?" Jooheon dragged a chair and sat opposite of Hyungwon.

Hyungwon felt annoyed that he had to talk about his feelings so openly, but Jooheon was probably the only person who could help him at the moment.

"To be honest, I don't feel like anything good is going to come out of this." Jooheon nodded slowly. "Wonho doesn't look as happy as Kihyun does. I'm not even sure if he's really happy or pretending to be... _I don't know_. Why are you even asking me this?!"

Jooheon sighed, patting him on the shoulder. "I will have to give you more time to understand what you actually feel."

Hyungwon had no idea what that meant. It strongly reminded him of Minhyuk's question. Didn't Changkyun mention something about liking Hoseok? Was everyone convinced that he liked Hoseok? _Because he didn't like him_. For fuck's sake, how could he have feelings for his _best friend_. Were they insane? If he wasn't thinking so much he would've realized how painfully he was pulling at his hair.

While Hyungwon looked like he was trying to solve the hardest problem in math, Hoseok was sitting next to Kihyun, his head rested on the other's shoulder. Kihyun's hand was warm, soft and smooth skin, long slender fingers that looked good entwined with Hoseok's. Their hands were fitting so well. Hoseok was slowly beginning to feel more aware of what he was exactly feeling. He still wasn't sure if he _actually_ liked Kihyun, but he felt so comfortable with him. Not as comfortable as when he was with Hyungwon, of course. Hyungwon was too special to be compared with anyone. The comfort Hoseok felt when he was with him was on a whole different level. But he wasn't with Hyungwon. _He was with Kihyun._ And he liked it.

Hoseok was looking at their hands while he was slowly brushing his thumb against Kihyun's skin. He planted a kiss on Kihyun's jaw, making the other blush. Hoseok quickly looked away embarassed.

"You know..." Hoseok spoke up, bringing Kihyun's attention to himself. "I'm starting to get used to this."

"Really?" Kihyun asked with a soft smirk curled on his lips. "Didn't you say you're not into boys?" Hoseok rolled his eyes and ignored what the other said. Yes, he _was_ dating a boy, but that's not the point!

Hoseok kind of missed spending time with Hyungwon already. He knew that they probably won't have time to hang out except after school and that he couldn't do much about it because now he had to spend time with Kihyun, too. But when he was separated from Hyungwon he was in pain. He tried not thinking about it and distracting his thoughts with other things.

Hyungwon disliked watching Hoseok with someone else. He never knew why. It was also like that when he had his girlfriend in year two. It wasn't fair. He didn't know what he exactly felt or why was he feeling it in general.

During their lunch break Minhyuk noticed that Hyungwon wasn't exactly with them. Well, he _was_ there but at the same time he wasn't. He was sitting a bit away from the others with a blank expression on his face. Minhyuk lightly shoved Jooheon's arm with his elbow, making him look at Hyungwon.

"What's with him?" Minhyuk asked, knitting his eyebrows.

"I think he's finally thinking about every time we've implied or directly said something about him liking Hoseok," Jooheon shrugged. "I talked to him earlier. But just confused him even more."

Minhyuk shook his head with a sigh. "Ah, he's so oblivious. Don't worry he's going to realize it sooner or later." They continued watching Hyungwon. He almost hadn't touched his food.

Suddenly Hoseok walked over and sat next to him. Jooheon and Minhyuk looked at each other surprised. "Why aren't you eating?" Hoseok wrapped an arm around Hyungwon's waist and rested his head on the other's shoulder.

Hyungwon's body tensed up. "I'm not hungry," he mumbled.

"Come on. You have to eat. You've gotten skinnier." Hoseok lightly pinched Hyungwon's cheek. "Plus, we have volleyball practice later. How are you going to practise if you haven't eaten?"

The corners of Hyungwon's mouth curled. Until now he hadn't realized how much he appreciated all the times Hoseok was taking care of him like that. He always took it for granted. But now since _Hoseok was with Kihyun_ , Hyungwon had to live for those moments even if they were going to happen rarely from now on.

Hoseok was with Hyungwon til the end of their lunch break. Hyungwon felt happy. His mind wasn't flooded with thoughts how _his best friend was dating Kihyun_. It was just the two of them again. But that moment ended as soon as Hoseok sat on his new seat next to Kihyun. And Hyungwon went back to being numb. 

Changkyun noticed how quickly Hyungwon's mood dropped. He was sitting on the window with Jooheon. He tugged at Jooheon's sleeve making the other look at him.

"What is it?" Jooheon's fingers ran up to the back of Changkyun's neck.

"Is it just me or did Hyungwon really forget about Kihyun? The moment Hoseok sat next to him, Hyungwon's expression changed." 

Jooheon was kind of proud when Changkyun was so observant. He had the ability to notice the smallest things. "He's going to be okay." Changkyun pouted. He was convinced that Jooheon couldn't understand what the actual problem was, but it wasn't like that. Jooheon just wanted Hyungwon to realize he liked Hoseok himself even if he had to struggle like that. All the dropped hints were enough for him. It was a matter of time.

\--

Hyungwon was so thankful that he could at least go home with Hoseok. Kihyun was usually going home with Hyunwoo and Jooheon because they lived in the same direction. Hoseok felt how lonely Hyungwon was even if it was just the two of them. He grabbed the taller's hand and pulled him closer to himself.

" _Stop it_ ," Hoseok said. "I know how you're feeling right now. And I don't like it. I hate seeing you like that."

Hyungwon rolled his eyes. As if he actually knew how he felt. Even he himself didn't know how he felt. "It's not like I can do anything about it."

"I'm sorry." _I can't do anything about it either_.


	14. 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> seems like ive got no self control and started a new hyungwonho fic

Hyungwon and Hoseok's friendship was slowly being ruined by distance. Even though they were meters away from each other.  Suddenly they stopped visiting each other at night, they stopped watching movies together, walking home wasn't the same, it was awkwardly quiet. Hyungwon was trying to do something about it but every time he did, Hoseok became even more cold and distant towards him. Every time Hyungwon wanted to talk, Hoseok didn't have time.

Kihyun and Hoseok were getting closer with every day that passed. Hyungwon started hanging out with Jooheon and Changkyun. It almost felt like they didn't need each other. But late at night when both of them couldn't fall asleep they were in each other's thoughts, cursing at themselves that they let this happen. A single relationship ruined their friendship.

Hyungwon wasn't blaming Kihyun for anything. It wasn't his fault that he had fallen for Hoseok nor that he wanted to be with him. It was Hoseok's fault that he forgot about his best friend shortly after he got into a relationship.

Being alone gave Hyungwon time to think. He was tired of thinking, in fact. He couldn't figure anything out, so he finally gave up and called Minhyuk.

"Hello?" Minhyuk responded with a blissful voice.

"Hey. Sorry for bothering you, but I've got a quick question."

"Ask away!"

Seriously Hyungwon was sometimes annoyed by how cheerful and happy Minhyuk was all the time. _Nobody_ can be _that_ cheerful. "Before getting together with Hyunwoo, when I talked to you during volleyball practice, you asked me if I've done anything about me and Hoseok. _What does that mean_?!"

Minhyuk suddenly started laughing, making Hyungwon question his decision to call the other. "Hyungwon that was so long ago that even _you_ would've understood it til now. It seems like you actually haven't. Are you that oblivious?"

"What?"

Minhyuk was trying to control his laughter, but it seemed like it was currently stronger than him. But his tone was suddenly serious. "Hyungwon. We wanted you to realize it yourself, but it doesn't seem like you're going to do that any time soon. I'll just go by questions that are simple enough for you. No offense, you're actually pretty smart at times... Sooo... Have you ever looked at Hoseok in a way you wouldn't look anyone else?"

Hyungwon noddled slowly. "I guess..." _That didn't prove anything._

"Does your heart beat faster than usual when you're with him? Like in specific moments when he's held your hand or hugged you, or... you know... _kissed_ you?" It took Hyungwon a while, but he answered with "yes" again. "When you're seeing him too close with Kihyun do you envy Kihyun and wish that was you instead?"

"No! That's rude..."

"But you've thought about it, haven't you?" Minhyuk giggled. "Any ways, I think you have enough information now. Bye~ "

"Wait, Minhyuk--" The white haired boy hung up, leaving Hyungwon.

Hyungwon literally threw his phone aside. His nose slightly scrunched up as he heard a loud thump from the phone falling on the wooden floor. " _But I don't like him..._ " The boy burried his face in his pillow. He was pretty sure he was going insane. He even started talking to himself. _Great_.

It was true, though. Even when Hyungwon had a girlfriend, he wasn't looking at her like she was anything _that_ special. It was different when he looked at Hoseok. Because Hoseok was so beautiful that Hyungwon can't help but look at his face for hours. His heart would always race when they touched. No matter of they were hugging or their hands were slightly brushing against each other. Hoseok _always_ had that effect on him.

He had seen Hoseok kiss Kihyun _once_. His stomach was twisting painfully. It was normal seeing them kiss. They were _together_ after all. But it hurt. Yes, he envied Kihyun. He wanted to be the one Hoseok liked.

Okay, maybe Hyungwon liked Hoseok. Just a tid bit. Or a lot. All of this was normal before, but now he felt strange. He was somewhat thankful he currently wasn't talking with Hoseok. He needed to sort things out with himself.

After he made sure his mother was asleep he sneaked out of the house. Surprisingly, he didn't head to Hoseok's house. He had just went out for a walk. His house was close to the outskirts of the town, so there were a lot of empty fields where he could just relax. That's what he needed now.

Hoseok had just walked out of his house and was about to head to Hyungwon's when he saw the other walking down the street. He knew where Hyungwon was going and that he wanted to be alone. He followed him anyways. He wanted to talk with Hyungwon.

Hoseok was walking far from Hyungwon. Enough for his steps to not be heard. They ended up in a big field that seemed endless. It was next to a small forrest where they both used to go in before until they got scared... _by a deer._ It was Hyungwon's favourite place to go. Especially with Hoseok. They both didn't know shit about the stars but they used to watch them really often. Just the two of them. Together.

Hyungwon sat on the grass that for some reason was regularly mowed. Nobody really used that field, so he didn't see why they had to do it. But it wasn't like he complained about it. 

He slightly jumped as Hoseok sat next to him. "I didn't know you're here," he awkwardly said, looking away.

"I was about to go to your house when I saw you head here. I wanted to talk to you." Hyungwon wasn't answering, so Hoseok guessed he had to continue talking. " _I miss you_. Since I'm with Kihyun we barely talk to each other. We're not best friends. _I don't even know if you see me as a friend anymore._ I want to fix that."

Hyungwon rolled his eyes and his gaze shifted to the other male. "You should've thought about that earlier, don't you think? I came here because I wanted to be alone, _I don't understand why are you here._ "

The shorter got closer to Hyungwon, cupping his cheek. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know anymore."

"You can tell me everything."

"I can't. You said it yourself. We're not best friends anymore. _We're not even friends_."

"Hyungwon, I told you, I'm trying to fix things. I want to talk to you. Help me out just a little bit." Hyungwon ignored him again. Hoseok sighed, lying down on the grass and resting his head on the other's lap. "Why are you acting like that?"

The taller sighed, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger. "Wonho, it's complicated... I don't want to affect your relationship with Kihyun in any way... But Minhyuk, Jooheon and Changkyun made me rethink some things. Overthink even..." He suddenly stopped talking. It wasn't right. None of this. Hoseok had to be happy with Kihyun. He didn't want to ruin it.

"Continue..." Hyungwon shook his head, squeezing his eyes and biting on his lower lip, whispering "I can't" so quietly Hoseok almost didn't hear him. Hoseok closed his eyes for a moment but immediately opened them again when he felt a tear fall on his face. "Are you crying?" Hyungwon shook his head again. Tears kept falling from his eyes. Hoseok sat up, pulling Hyungwon into his embrace, slowly running his fingers through the boy's black hair.

"D-don't do that," Hyungwon stuttered.

But Hoseok didn't stop. He continued, not letting Hyungwon pull away. "Why wouldn't I do it? Because you like me and you don't want to accept it? Because you think its not obvious or no one told me? How much time do you think I can act blind about it?"

"Wonho..."

"Shut up, Hyungwon." Hoseok pressed his lips against Hyungwon's forehead.


	15. 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lately ive been writing longer chapters idk if thats good haha  
> this almost got 2k words im in tears

"So he confessed?" Kihyun looked nervously at Hoseok, tugging at his own sleeves.

Hoseok pulled Kihyun's hair back, kissing him on the forehead. "Don't worry about it." Kihyun was sulking. And Hoseok didn't like it at all. He lifted Kihyun's chin and kissed him on the lips. He kissed him again and again until Kihyun finally smiled. "That's better. I don't like you when you're pouting."

"That's not true. You like me no matter what." Kihyun pulled Hoseok into a deeper kiss, stopping him from saying anything else. His hands ran up Hoseok's hair. Both of them didn't expect Hoseok to moan in Kihyun's mouth. He quickly pulled away. His whole face was red. "I... I didn't know you're that sensitive..."

This wasn't good. Not at all. Hoseok immediately remembered about himself and Hyungwon _that one morning_. He tried not thinking about it. Kissing Kihyun distracted him a bit. He rarely had more intimate moments with Kihyun but he was currently in his house and they could basically do whatever they wanted to. Which wasn't much. Mainly cuddling and arguing if they should watch Sherlock or Supernatural. Everyone knew that Sherlock was worth it. Even Hoseok. But it seemed like Kihyun couldn't quite see the beauty of the series.

" _Come oooon_ ," Hoseok whined. "We've watched Supernatural so many times but I feel like the series are never ending. Seriously... What's with those Winchester dudes?"

"Until now we've literally watched less than ten episodes, what are you talking about? Plus, I don't feel like I'm going to like Sherlock."

"Please." Hoseok pecked Kihyun on the lips. "Just one episode."

Kihyun rolled his eyes. "One."

Hoseok didn't even realize how he did all of those things together with Hyungwon. Didn't even think about him or every time he was arguing with him what to watch. Meanwhile Hyungwon couldn't even get him out of his head. He was talking on the phone with Jooheon, telling him how sorry he was that all of that happened.

"I don't think you can do anything about in general," Jooheon sighed. "After all..."

" **Don't** say it, please." Hyungwon had no other choice but to wait until Hoseok broke up with Kihyun. Or until his feelings faded away. He wasn't sure that Hoseok and Kihyun were going to break up any time soon.

As the days passed, neither was happening. Hoseok and Kihyun were happy together. His feelings didn't fade away. They were getting stronger instead. Later on, he realized that the half of the school year had passed and he had never felt so distant from Hoseok. Even on the day they met they became friends right away. They were best friends since day one but now they were doing their best to just keep their friendship alive.

It was already time for school camp. This year there were three classes on a ski resort. Somehow until now on every camp, Hyungwon's and Hoseok's classes were together. This time he was _unlucky_ to be in the same class as him.

Hyungwon hadn't seen Changkyun looking relatively happy in a long time. He was walking around hand in hand with Jooheon. Hyungwon couldn't quite hear what they were talking about, but they were laughing.

His gaze shifted to Minhyuk and Hyunwoo. Minhyuk's hair was definitely trying to compete with the snow. Hyungwon couldn't tell which was whiter. It seemed like his relationship with Hyunwoo was the most stable in the whole school along with Jeonghan and Seungcheol's. Unfortunately, their class was at this camp, too, so Hyungwon was going to get even more daily reminders that people were in happy relationships with their best friends while he was all alone. Jooheon and Changkyun _who weren't even together_ were happier than him.

He didn't even dare to look at Hoseok and Kihyun. He just had to search for someone to be in a room with. The next moment he realized Hoseok was standing in front of him with a warm smile.

"What do you want?" Hyungwon asked, not really understanding why wasn't he with Kihyun but in front of him.

Hoseok didn't answer. He just grabbed Hyungwon's hands in his own, handing him a key. His smile didn't fade away from his face. "I promised we are going to be in the same room on every camp, didn't I? I went and checked in already. You just looked like you were going to search for someone to be in a room with."

"You don't have to do it. Go be with Kihyun."

"I want to be with you."

Hyungwon blushed. "O-okay..."

Hoseok pulled his bed next to Hyungwon's. They would always do it in order to sleep together. In this hotel one bed was big enough for both of them, but they both agreed that a bigger bed was better no matter what.

The first night, after dinner most people were gathered in Minhyuk and Hyunwoo's room. Hyungwon wasn't feeling like being around so many people. He wasn't even sure how so many fit in a not so big room. They were watching some cartoon on TV. Hyungwon found it rather boring, not sure how the others enjoyed it. It seemed like Kihyun and Hoseok weren't enjoying the cartoon more than themselves. They were on the balcony, making out. Hyungwon, as a person sitting on an armchair next to the window, saw them with the corner of his eye and couldn't bear it. He got up and headed out of the room.

He was at the doorway when he heard Seungkwan's voice calling his name. "Oi, Hyungwon, where are you going?"

"Sorry, I'm going back to my room. I'm not feeling well." He closed the door after he was asked anything else.

Hoseok didn't come back until 1AM. Hyungwon was watching documentaries on TV. Didn't really notice Hoseok walking in. Or most likely pretended he didn't notice. It was easier pretending since instead of saying anything Hoseok went to take a shower. By the time he was out, Hyungwon had turned off the TV and fallen asleep.

Hoseok put on random clothes to sleep in, stubbed his toes in the leg of the bed and then lied down next to the other, trying not to think about the pain. Hyungwon was at the edge of the bed with his back against Hoseok, but the shorter wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, managing to not wake him up.

He didn't fall asleep. He was inhaling Hyungwon's scent. He had forgotten how addicted to it he was. Nothing in world could replace this. And the feeling that it brought. It felt like home. And that's exactly what it was. **Home**. Whenever he was with Hyungwon he was at home. Whenever he was asked to describe home he would almost say Hyungwon's name as if it was the most natural thing. People didn't really expect to hear someone's name when asking about home. He was expected to say a place, not a person. But how would he say anything else when he felt more at home in Hyungwon's arms than anywhere else?

Obviously, him trying to fix their friendship wasn't going well. He couldn't figure out what was the problem. He didn't know what was different. But it just was. He felt horrible for turning out to be such a bad friend. He loved him. He even loved him more than Kihyun or anyone else.

"You deserve a better friend," Hoseok whispered, burying his face in Hyungwon's back.

"I really do," Hyungwon said. Hoseok suddenly let go of him and pulled away. Getting a response was the last thing he expected. He swore to God, Hyungwon was asleep just a few minutes ago. Seconds even. 

"Hyungwon..."

"Hug me again. It felt nice." Hoseok obliged. "I feel at home."

"I was just thinking about that."

"Maybe we're both at home, who knows?"

They were both smiling. They had a responsibility. A responsibility that they were going to be best friends once again. They didn't even need to say it anymore. Everything was going to get better. Just now they were aware of it.

Hyungwon still had doubts the rest of the time, though. Hoseok had broken his heart a few times in the matter of just a few months. No matter how much Hoseok was apologizing and promising he was going to fix everything, Hyungwon still had uncertainties that this wasn't going to last long as it always didn't.

He turned to face Hoseok. He wanted to kiss him so much. He had to restrain himself from looking at the other's lips. "You're making this so awkward for me, you know," Hyungwon sighed, pressing his forehead against Hoseok's.

"I do realize." Hoseok cupped Hyungwon's cheek. He closed his eyes, feeling himself being pulled into the other's embrace.

"I want to kiss you so much. But I know I can't do that... I'm sorry I fell for you... I'm sorry especially for myself because now I have to go through this while you're with Kihyun."

"It's not your fault that you fell for me." Hoseok's hand run up in Hyungwon's hair. "But you also know I can't return your feelings. And I can't give you what you need."

"Yeah. You're the worst," Hyungwon said jokingly, making Hoseok snort. He closed his eyes, too. They both fell asleep soon after.

During the night Hyungwon woke up a few times crying and Hoseok had to calm him down every time. In the end both of them didn't get enough sleep and were woken up at 7am to go have breakfast and then walk around in the nearby village.

They didn't even make an effort to do anything about how they looked. Only Hoseok changed to jeans and a shirt. But his hair was still messy and the dark circles under his eyes gave away that he didn't sleep solidly for more than two hours. Hyungwon was going to change his clothes after breakfast. He was with the sweatpants and the T-shirt that he called pajamas. His eyes and nose were red from too much crying. His hair as messy as Hoseok's.

Fortunately, the others had left two empty seats for them on their table. As they sat down everyone on the table looked at them kind of shocked because of the way they looked. As if they hadn't seen sleep deprived people before. Kihyun, who was sitting next to Hoseok, left his food aside and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's neck, letting him rest his head on his shoulder.

"You two don't look okay," Jooheon remarked like it wasn't obvious already. "What happened?"

"Hyungwon had nightmares the whole night," Hoseok lied. Hyungwon had started eating and didn't pay much attention to the conversation.

Changkyun noticed that Hyungwon looked like he had cried, but didn't say anything. He didn't want to ask him that in front of the others. He also knew that it was because of Hoseok, so asking in front of Kihyun would've been really awkward and troublesome.

\--

Changkyun was helping Hyungwon fix his hair because he didn't seem to be able to do it alone. He was getting too distracted. His gaze would just focus on something random like his hands or even the wall and he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of it, not registering anyone talking to him. His mind went blank along with it. But Changkyun was there snapping him out of that condition. Changkyun was sitting behind Hyungwon on the bed, slowly combing the other's hair.

"Being in the same room with him is making you too vulnerable," Changkyun said.

"I'll be fine."

"Change rooms with Kihyun," the shorter suggested.

Hyungwon looked at Changkyun, raising his eyebrow. "Do you think I'd really do that?"

"For now, it's the best choice."

"Probably..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually started reading "me being me is as insane as you being you" so i kinda had to compensate with a long chapter tbh


	16. 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i accidentally started listening to 24k, uniq and madtown during the writing process   
> agust d is slaying me every day im scared for my life

Kihyun agreed to change rooms with Hyungwon. _Of course he would._ Before that, Hyungwon just felt how the other was stabbing him in his mind for being in a room with his boyfriend. _What was his problem?_

Kihyun was in a room with Jiwon and Hanbin, who weren't the most quiet ones, especially with their rap battles in the middle of the night that the **whole** hotel could hear. No one would've been surprised if the nearby villages heard them, too. The two of them were actually really nice and friendly, though, Hyungwon was thankful that it was just their class and the rest of their friends weren't at the camp. All six of them were too loud when they were together. They were seven before but one of them had already graduated. 

In year two Hyungwon and Hoseok were making a lot of bets with Jiwon and Hanbin. Their last one was who could pull out the best prank on the principal that caused the four of them to be suspended from school for a month. They had enough time to plan their great revenge afterwards. They were famous in the whole school for like a month.

The only thing Hyungwon had to do left was pack his things and tell Hoseok that he was changing rooms. They hadn't talked since the morning. When they were in the village they were hanging out with literally everyone else they were close with but each other. They weren't avoiding each other, they just wanted to be with other people. In fact, Hyungwon had a lot of fun without Hoseok. He wasn't all gloomy anymore.

The moment he remembered about his best friend's existence was when they went back to the hotel and Kihyun reminded about telling Hoseok. Why did _he_ have to do it? Couldn't he just pack his things and go? Currently, he was more excited for being in a room with Jiwon and Hanbin than with Hoseok. If he stayed in that room for another night, everything was going to repeat. Hoseok was going to start _hating_ him if he left him with no sleep for the whole camp.

Hoseok was somewhere else, so Hyungwon used the time to put everything he had taken out back in his suitcase. He was almost done when the blonde walked in with a puzzled look on his face. "Kihyun told me you two are changing rooms? Was it your idea?"

"Yes... And no. It was Changkyun's... Sorry I'm taking so long, I will be out in a minute." Hyungwon got up, putting the last things he had out of his suitcase. Hoseok was quick to stop him and make him sit again. He sat on the other's lap, facing him. "What are you--"

"I want you to listen to me," Hoseok interrupted with a grin. "I'm just making sure you don't run away."

"I'm pretty sure that right now, the only thing you're doing is testing me how much I can last without touching you," Hyungwon said, his hands wandering over Hoseok's hips in circles. 

Hoseok smirked, wrapping his arms around Hyungwon's neck. "Don't go. Both Kihyun and I agreed that if we're in the same room we're going to get tired of each other before the camp is over. That's the difference between me and you and me and him. Or me and anyone else actually. Everyone would get tired of me if they spend longer time with me. But you. You never got tired. Ever. I don't understand it."

"I will never get tired of you."

"Stop it," Hoseok snorted. "You're going to make me cry if you keep going with your sappiness."

Hyungwon pulled the other down on the bed, so they were both lying, snuggled in each other. Hoseok couldn't stop looking at Hyungwon's plump lips. He brushed his thumb over them slowly. He had forgotten what was the feeling of kissing them. He leaned in, but he didn't kiss Hyungwon. The brunette didn't do anything either. He knew he shouldn't. They were just looking into each other's eyes until Hoseok rested his head on the other's chest when he felt like it became too awkward.

Cheating was gross and he would never do that to Kihyun because he loved him, but Hyungwon's lips were just so inviting. Everything about Hyungwon tempted him so much. It was because of the way he talked and the way he looked at him. And just _him_ in general. Though, he didn't feel anything special towards him, he noticed all of these things, every small gesture he made. And he was sorry that he was making Hyungwon go through this. If it depended on him, he was going to fall for Hyungwon and was going to be happy with him and make him happy. But that's the thing. It didn't depend on him. He couldn't change anything. He was aware how perfect Hyungwon was but nothing else. He wasn't anything but his best friend.

"How do you handle this?" Hoseok asked, gently taking Hyungwon's hand in his own. "How does it feel when someone doesn't like you back? I don't understand why you keep going."

Hyungwon raised an eyebrow and looked down at a sulking Hoseok.  "I keep going because I love you."

The blonde felt his heart skip a beat. He groaned. "Go suck a dick and stop being like that."

" _Ew_ ," Hyungwon exclaimed. "That's gay."

"You're gay."

"You're the one dating a guy," Hyungwon reminded.

"Well," Hoseok shrugged. "Honestly, I don't think I'm gay."

"Me neither."

The door opened and Kihyun walked in. His nose scrunched up a bit the moment he saw his boyfriend on top of Hyungwon. He perfectly knew that most things between them wouldn't change but Hoseok was _his_ boyfriend, not Hyungwon's, so his reaction was only natural. He was more than jealous. Hoseok and Hyungwon immediately got up, letting go of each other's hands. The blonde's face was so red that he couldn't even look at his boyfriend.

"Hoseok, do you want to go out for a walk?" Kihyun asked with a warm smile, ignoring the awkward situation that he had caused.

"Sure," Hoseok mumbled, going to Kihyun.

"We'll pick you up for dinner, Hyungwonnie," Kihyun waved and walked out with Hoseok.

" _Fucking snake,_ " Hyungwon hissed under his breath. Seemed like it was the first time he actually thought something bad about Kihyun more than envying him for being with his crush. He suddenly couldn't stand him being around. The worst part was that it didn't have that much to do with him dating Hoseok. 

Now that he was all alone and didn't have anything better to do, he decided to watch anime until Hoseok and Kihyun came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's like 5am i didnt really put any effort into editing this so if you excuse :')))))  
> today and tomorrow i will be at anifest so i won't really write anything *sheds a tear* but!!! i will most likely be active on twitter after i'm done with the maid cafe so talk to me @ sassytooru_13
> 
>  
> 
> stan astro


	17. 15

Every day went like this. When Hyungwon would spend more time with Hoseok than usual, Kihyun would notice immediately. Then he would just appear out of nowhere and take Hoseok somewhere else. Probably as far away from Hyungwon as possible. Hoseok tried compensating after that, but it seemed like it wasn't enough for Hyungwon.

It was the last day of their camp and the three of them were mostly glad that it was over. Especially Hyungwon. They were leaving in just a few hours. Most of them were around the table and eating breakfast but Jooheon and Changkyun. They were taking too long. A teacher told Hyungwon to go upstairs and make them hurry. Someone had spread a rumor that they had their first time last night. Seungkwan or someone else, close to Jooheon and Changkyun's room. But Seungkwan was the first person who would spread rumors like that.

Hyungwon went to Jooheon and Changkyun's hotel room and knocked on the door. He heard a yawn, coming from the inside of the room, followed by Jooheon unlocking and opening the door. "Morning," the boy said lazily.

"They're scolding _me_ that _you two_ aren't down and eating breakfast as you should be doing," Hyungwon said. "Good morning to you, too, by the way."

"Look, I really want to go and eat because I'm hungry as fuck, but some people don't want to go out of bed or even look at me in the eyes." Jooheon lead Hyungwon inside their room. Changkyun was curled up in a corner of the bed, under a pile of blankets and pillows. They couldn't even see him.

"What's wrong with him?" Hyungwon asked.

"Well," Jooheon scratched the back of his neck, tilting his head slightly. "Some things happened and now he's too embarrassed to face the world. He literally kicked me when I tried talking to him. Twice."

Hyungwon was already feeling like the rumors were true. "What do you mean by things?"

Jooheon threw the taller the bitchiest look he could had pulled out. "You know, when two people really love ea--"

" **Okay!!!** I heard enough!!!"

Hyungwon and Jooheon somehow managed to get Changkyun out of the room. The boy was quietly walking behind them, his whole face red from embarrassment. He was lightly holding onto Jooheon's T-shirt, so he could catch up with them.

At the restaurant everyone was throwing them weird looks until Minhyuk distracted them with jumping up from his chair and hugging the life out of Changkyun. "My small son, I'm _sooo_ proud of you!!!"

"Son?" Changkyun raised an eyebrow. He had to endure a lot of questions along with Jooheon. And Minhyuk acting like he was his proud mother. The attention towards him was bigger. He was being asked things he wasn't comfortable talking about, but didn't know how to tell others to just stop. He didn't deserve this. _I should've stayed in the room_ , he thought. While ignoring the others who were talking to him he noticed that Hoseok and Kihyun were arguing about something. It looked like they were even fighting. Hoseok was raising his voice more and more until he suddenly got up.

" _I'm fucking tired of your shit_ ," he spat out, heading back to his room. Kihyun didn't look like he cared. Not at all, actually. He continued eating as if nothing had happened. Hyungwon heard their fight, too, but he didn't run after Hoseok. He supposed it was nothing _that_ serious. Sometimes Hoseok was getting mad for no reason. Besides, who wouldn't get angry just by _looking_ at Kihyun? 

When he had finished with his breakfast, Hyungwon got up and went to his room. He heard the water running in the bathroom, so he supposed Hoseok was in there. He packed his suitcase, but Hoseok was still taking a shower. He started wondering how long would've it taken until the water went cold. Boredom could do _amazing_ things. And it really did. Hyungwon packed Hoseok's things, too. Right after he was done, Hoseok went out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Hyungwon pretended to ignore it.

"Did you _seriously_ pack my things?" Hoseok chuckled, sitting on the bed next to Hyungwon, making the other feel even more uncomfortable. The brunette was trying to look everywhere else but at Hoseok's... _well built torso... And his thick thighs... Oh, God, his thighs..._ It was too much to bear. 

"I was bored, don't judge me," Hyungwon rolled his eyes. "At some point I even started thinking that you have drowned or something."

"I wish I actually drowned," Hoseok tried laughing it off, but he noticed the worried look Hyungwon threw him. "Well, now that my things are neatly packed, I will have to stay like that."

"I would pack your luggage over and over again, just put some clothes on, please."

"Okay, okay, fine. I thought that at least you would appreciate my perfect body."

"Don't worry, I'd never appreciate it if it goes hand in hand with a face like yours."

After Hoseok got dressed, him and Hyungwon were lying on their backs and staring at the ceiling in silence, Hyungwon wanted to ask about the thing that happened with Kihyun, but he also didn't want to bother Hoseok.

The blonde's gaze shifted on the other's still worried expression. "Things with Kihyun aren't going well," he explained. "The more time we spend together, the better I realize that we're fighting more... And he probably doesn't even have feelings towards me anymore... I just _feel_ it. He's using me..."

"Break up with him?" Hyungwon returned Hoseok's gaze, quickly rethinking what he had just said. He meant it, but he wasn't supposed to speak out what he was exactly feeling about this. "Sorry... That probably sounded stupid."

"I would actually do it, but I can't... Hyungwon, I'm fucking _in love_ with him... _You have no idea_... I didn't even start dating him seriously, I had no feelings towards him... But now... I can't just break up with him..." His voice was cracking up, so Hyungwon was quick to hug him and calm him down, slowly caressing the back of Hoseok's head.

"I know..."

\--

After all, Hoseok was still going to be next to Kihyun on the bus. The moment he sat down, Kihyun gave him a confused look, as if he wasn't expecting from Hoseok to sit next to him after what happened just a few hours ago.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you," Hoseok apologized. It wasn't his fucking fault, why did he even bother apologizing?

Kihyun grabbed the blonde's hand, flashing a fake smile. "It's okay."

The shorter was acting colder than ever. Every time Hoseok was trying to kiss him on the cheek, Kihyun would pull away and groan. They wouldn't even hold hands for long.

"Kihyun, what's wrong?" Hoseok finally asked. It was too much for him. "I can't stand it... The only thing we do lately is fight. You're acting cold. You don't even let me touch you. But if Hyungwon is around you still snatch me away from him as if I'm going to cheat on you with him any moment. Please, get your shit together and find out what you actually want, because at this point I can actually tell that you don't love me anymore. You just like the feeling of being loved. You just want someone who loves you even if you don't love them back. But you don't love. Am I right?"

The other's blood was boiling. He couldn't even argue and he was so mad about it, because Hoseok was right. "In the beginning I really liked you... At some point I loved you so much that I was blind to see that you're treating Hyungwon the same way you treat me. After realizing it, it just died... I'm sorry..."

"Is it really because of Hyungwon? Or are you just searching for someone to blame it on?"

"I don't know anymore..." 

Hoseok grit his teeth. He kept bottled all things he felt for the rest of the ride and until he got back home. He told his parents he was too tired from the trip and wanted to go to sleep. His mother felt like something was wrong, but she just kissed him on the forehead and wished him a good night. The moment he walked into his room and locked the door, he broke down. He just threw his suitcase aside and curled up on the floor, crying. 

He usually didn't let himself cry. Even when he was all alone. He was already crying his eyes out the moment he heard his window creak. He lifted his head a bit and looked at the direction of the window to see Hyungwon climbing into his room, walking over to Hoseok and plopping himself on the ground in front of him. 

"Do you remember when you scrapped your knee in year one?" Hyungwon asked, taking Hoseok's hands in his own. Hoseok nodded lightly. "It was the first time I saw you cry. Everyone was telling you that you were already too old to cry over something like that. That you had already grown up and shouldn't cry."

"And you were the only one who took care of me because you took me seriously," Hoseok completed, gripping Hyungwon's hands tighter. Tears were still streaming down his face.

Hyungwon smiled, pulling Hoseok closer and wiping Hoseok's tears away. "Even though you were crying like an actual little bitch, it was _my_ job to help you. Because I was your best friend even back then. Now I have to help you again, because I'm still your best friend. And I will always be."

Hoseok didn't know if he was supposed to be crying harder or smiling. He was so thankful for Hyungwon being in his life.

"You can cry all you want now, but once you've calmed down, no more crying. Especially because of Kihyun. Okay?" Hyungwon brushed his thumb against Hoseok's cheek, his smile growing wider and warmer.

"Okay."


	18. 16

Few days after the camp, everyone was back to school. Unlike Hyungwon had expected to happen, Hoseok decided to stay at his place next to Kihyun. His ex didn't complain. They weren't even talking to each other. And Hyunwoo and Minhyuk were happy together, _so why separate them?_ That was basically the best reason Hoseok could give to stay next to Kihyun. Besides, Hyungwon had already gotten used to sitting without Hoseok next to him. If Kihyun really didn't mind, Hyungwon couldn't just tell Hoseok to go back next to him in order for everything to go back the same like the time before he started dating Kihyun.

Hoseok really loved Kihyun. It wasn't something he could fight against. Being broken up with didn't numb his feelings at all. Yet he was blaming it all on himself. If he hadn't fallen in love with Kihyun this wasn't going to happen. If he rejected him from the very beginning, he was going to be happy with Hyungwon. Even if he was going to feel bad for rejecting Kihyun, everything else would've been better if they didn't date. Kihyun was easily going to move on. So many things could've been avoided.

Now he was spending a big part of his free time playing League of Legends or Hearthstone, only to get distracted of thinking about all the good times with Kihyun and everything that could've been. It was the hardest for him late at night when even games couldn't distract him. He would always leave his windows shut because he didn't want Hyungwon come in and see the mess he was turning into when he was all by himself.

But Hyungwon knew all of it. He had always known that Hoseok cried a lot when he was by himself. And the fact that Hoseok thought that closing his window was going to stop him, made Hyungwon feel like laughing. After all, he still had his spare key and dared to use it when things got too serious, which was exactly the case.

He was extremely quiet when unlocking, because he didn't know if Hoseok's parents were there or not and if they were - he didn't want to risk waking them up, if they were asleep. He was as quiet when walking to his best friend's room and opening the door. At first, when he turned the lights on, he didn't notice any sign of life until the pile of blankets on the bed lifted up. The upper half of his face appeared behind it right after. Hair messy like a nest, eyes red from exhaustion and with dark circles underneath, staring directly at Hyungwon.

" _Fuck off_ ," Hoseok mumbled.

Instead of going back home, like he wasn't even intending on doing, Hyungwon closed the door behind himself and sat on the edge of the bed next to Hoseok, making the shorter rest his head on his lap. Hoseok didn't struggle a lot. Sometimes Hyungwon's lap felt much more comfortable than any pillow in the world. This time wasn't an exception.

Hyungwon cradled him, looking into his eyes with a warmly, moving away Hoseok's bleached bangs from his face, so he could see his eyes more clearly.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked with a soft voice. "While you're locking yourself up and distancing yourself from everyone, including me, he's _moving on_ with life."

"I don't want to move on without him," Hoseok murmured.

The brunette got a bit offended. He was there, ready to give everything for his favorite person on Earth, but Hoseok was still crying over someone who wasn't even concerned that he was hurting. Mentioning that he felt left out would've made Hoseok feel even worse. For now, Hyungwon was fine with Hoseok not realizing it. He was already blaming himself too much. But he also wasn't going to go soft on him. Hoseok had to face reality, no matter how harsh Hyungwon's words might have sounded the moment he voiced them out. "Wonho, Kihyun doesn't like you anymore. You have to get over him. You are well aware of the fact."

"I am..." Hoseok pouted, looking away and trying to choke back his tears. His voice was shaking and it was already too hard for Hyungwon to act indifferent. "But what if I make him like me again?...If I just try I might change something..."

"You can't force him to like you. Just like I can't force you to like me."

"I'm sorry." Hoseok cupped Hyungwon's cheek, pulling him closer. Hyungwon's back hurt from the uncomfortable angle he was bent in, but it didn't matter.

They turned off the lights and both lied down on Hoseok's bed, Hyungwon hugging Hoseok from behind, his lips pressed against the back of the other's neck.

Only if Hyungwon could tell Hoseok how much he loved him and how much he was ready to sacrifice just for him. He should've realized all of this in year one. They both should've. Because Hyungwon knew. He knew without needing to be told. Hoseok liked him before. Before Kihyun or anyone else appeared, Hoseok and Hyungwon were in love and they probably hadn't noticed it because it just seemed so natural for them to be that close. And now it was all gone.

"Wonho?" 

"Yes?"

"Did you like me before?"

It took Hoseok a while to answer. Maybe he didn't know the answer himself. Or didn't want to admit it. Eventually, he did. "Seems like it."

Hyungwon was kind of relieved from the response. He decided that that thought was going to help him sleep peacefully, but he didn't expect from Hoseok to continue talking. "I know this subject has been talked about a lot already. But the things between us have gotten really complicated ever since Kihyun, most likely, ruined everything."

"Note that you accepted dating him," Hyungwon interrupted.  "He just confessed."

Hoseok rolled his eyes. "Okay, fine. It's my fault, too. The thing is that I want to fall for you again. The way it was before. Just the two of us together, not caring about the world." He turned to Hyungwon, looking at him even though it was so dark that they couldn't see each other. "But I can't turn back time."

"Me neither," Hyungwon said with a sigh.

"I'm _really_ sorry."

"I heard this already. If you keep on repeating it I might stop believing."

Hoseok found something really funny in Hyungwon's comment. It was the fact that he lied. "You don't believe it either way, so why say that?" He didn't receive any response. He covered himself with his blanket properly, so he wasn't cold, and hugged Hyungwon, burying his face in the other's chest.

He wasn't sure why, but he was crying. It wasn't for Kihyun this time, he was aware. His mind was a mess.

Without looking down at him, Hyungwon just wiped his tears away, pressing him harder against himself. "Everything is going to be okay," he whispered. He kissed Hoseok on the forehead. Unfortunately, Hoseok didn't stop crying. Hyungwon had always managed to calm him down, but this time. "Why are you crying?"

"I really don't know," Hoseok said. "There's so much going on in my head right now that I can't even figure it out... It's too much..."

"Try to sleep." Hyungwon pecked Hoseok on the lips.

\--

"Hyungwon, I don't mean to keep your expectations high. Because at this point I don't know what I feel and you know it..." Hoseok had a guilty look on his face. After he woke up he finally discovered the reason he was crying. He could mislead Hyungwon at any time just because of his actions. Then it was going to be his fault that Hyungwon's heart would probably end up being even more broken than it was already.

"I don't have any expectations," Hyungwon smiled sweetly, patting Hoseok on the shoulder. "Just know that if you ever decide playing with my feelings, I know how to take it back on you." His smile suddenly got a bit creepier, making Hoseok feel like he didn't want to get on his bad side. Especially this time. _Why would he even want to play with Hyungwon's feelings, though?_

"Are you threatening me?" Hoseok tried breaking the tension.

"Maaaybe~" Hyungwon rested his head on Hoseok's shoulder. He hoped Hoseok really considered what he said. Or else he had to hurt him. He didn't want that.

"We have to get ready for school," the shorter reminded.

Hyungwon quietly grumbled while getting up. He was constantly mumbling " _I don't wanna go_ " or " _it's better if we stay here_ ", but, eventually, he was ready an hour before they had to head to school. He wrapped himself in a blanket on Hoseok's bed, thinking of a good way to simulate that he was sick.

When Hoseok was done, he sat opposite of him, hugging his burritoed best friend. "Please, don't think about pretending you're sick. Don't even try."

"I don't want to go to school," Hyungwon whined.

"We just have a few months left and we graduate. Pull yourself together."

"Yeah..." He really wished he was actually sick. But Hoseok didn't seem to understand why.


	19. 17

The first thing Hyungwon saw as he walked into the classroom was Kihyun's face. He was smiling so brightly, but Hyungwon couldn't help but feel disgusted and annoyed. On the other hand, Hoseok felt sad about it because he wasn't the one who had caused his smile. He didn't have much time to focus on the matter since their class had already started.

For the past few months Kihyun had been helping Hoseok with math and made him write down everything in class, but now Hoseok was just playing on his phone, not paying attention to anything once again, even when the teacher was scolding him. Though, today something in Minhyuk's behavior bothered him, so Hoseok was always turning back to look at him, having one more reason to be scolded for. 

He wasn't the only one who noticed. Hyunwoo had moved his desk closer to him. He was holding Minhyuk's hand, asking him if he was okay from time to time, but never got a proper response. Minhyuk would just nod or squeeze his hand tighter.

The second the class ended Minhyuk took his bag, kissed Hyunwoo on the forehead and went outside.

Hoseok went over to Hyungwon, sitting in his lap. "What do you think happened?" He whispered in Hyungwon's ear, so he was the only one that could hear him.

"I think it would be better if we just ask Hyunwoo. There's no point in making assumptions." Hyungwon wrapped his arms around Hoseok's waist, pulling him closer to himself. "But if it was something Minhyuk wanted us to know, he would've probably told us."

"You're right," Hoseok hummed, holding Hyungwon's hands in his own.

Just  like before, the two of them were really clingy with each other, acting like they were never separated. There was no way Hoseok would get over Kihyun that easily, but it already wasn't bothering him as much as long as Hyungwon was around. Unlike Kihyun, Hyungwon really loved him and he was never going to leave him.

Even though they were still quite curious what happened with Minhyuk, they were currently distracted with their own things. In year one and two they had started with their pranks from the very beginning, but now they decided they were going to be suspiciously quiet and then make one big prank at the end of the school year, just a bit before they graduate. Hanbin and Jiwon were going to join, too. Now it was up to Hyungwon and Hoseok to think of a really good prank... That wouldn't end up in the police station, hopefully.

"I have no ideas," Hyungwon said, pursing his lips. "None at all. We should've started thinking about that earlier." He rested his forehead on Hoseok's nape, murmuring under his nose. "We have to be really desperate to ask Hanbin and Jiwon for help, though. I won't accept that I was defeated. I will think of something."

"We will figure it out together." Hyungwon smiled. "I gotta go," Hoseok said as he saw the teacher walking in the classroom. He got up and went to his seat next to Kihyun. 

\--

Jealousy was spreading in Hyungwon as fast as deadly poison in one's blood. Hoseok and Kihyun's friendship was back at the state it was at before they started dating. It was more than ugly of Hyungwon to be jealous _just because_ they were friends. But he knew - Hoseok was going to try being with Kihyun again. And he was most definitely going to end up being hurt.

He was more than glad that volleyball practice was the only time in school when Hyungwon didn't have to see Kihyun's face. Though, right now, he would've been happy if someone, _even if it was Kihyun_ , filled the empty space on the bench, beside the court. The same place where Minhyuk sat on every time just to watch Hyunwoo when he was practising. It felt like a part of the team was missing.

Hyungwon and Hoseok asked Hyunwoo what was the matter a few times, but even when it was just the three of them in the changing rooms, Hyunwoo refused to tell. He just left them the keys and headed home.

"I want to practise my serves..." Hoseok mumbled, looking at the keys in his hand.

"Tomorrow," Hyungwon said lazily, lying back on the bench.

"You don't need to do anything, just stay with me." The blonde grabbed the other's hand, trying to pull him up and drag him to the gym. Soon enough, he realized he wasn't going to succeed by that. He sat on the ground next to Hyungwon's head, still holding his hand. He leaned closer, leaving a quick kiss on Hyungwon's lips.

"Don't do that." Hyungwon glanced at Hoseok with the corner of his eye, a teasing smile appearing on his lips. "I might get the wrong idea." He wrapped his arms around Hoseok, letting himself get pulled up, so he was sitting on the bench again.

Suddenly, Hoseok's phone started ringing, distracting them both. Hyungwon saw the screen before Hoseok could dismiss the call... It was Kihyun... In Hoseok's contacts Kihyun still had sparkling heart emojis next to his name. Hyungwon had a really bad feeling about it... First they were really friendly with each other, now Kihyun was calling him... He pretended like he didn't notice, though. He had to make sure something was going on.

They headed to the court. At first Hoseok was practising his serves by himself but Hyungwon joined with receiving soon after. At some point they gave up to do anything else and were just tossing the ball over the net. From a third person's point of view it would've seemed really awkward because it was just them, standing with expressionless faces, tossing a ball over and over again with monotone movements.

It kept going for hours and they hadn't even realized it was almost 10pm and they were still at school. But, of course, _the one and only_ Mrs. Chae was there to keep their feet to the ground by calling Hyungwon and yelling at him for a good five minutes then making him hand the phone to Hoseok and yell at him, too, because, _obviously_ , yelling only at her son wasn't enough.

\--

Getting home and hearing his name the second he had walked in made Hyungwon get goosebumps. Turned out that it wasn't because his mom wanted to yell at him... _This time_. It was just his mom announcing that his dad was coming back home next Friday, which made Hyungwon really happy. After he had dinner and went back to his room, he texted Hoseok, telling him about it and Hoseok was as excited. They both loved when Mr. Chae was in town because he was taking them to different places or was telling them stories from where he traveled to. Thanks to those stories they were kind of good at geography. Well at least Hyungwon was. No one knew if Hoseok cared about geography, though, his grades were always on point.

For some reason, their conversation escalated to a direction Hyungwon didn't quite like. Hoseok shared with him that he had started texting with Kihyun again and he even thought that things between them could work out again. Hyungwon got really sick of it at some point and just left his phone, going to sleep afterwards. It was foolish of him to actually believe Hoseok was going to give up so easily. Or to hope that the kiss meant something more for him. Yet everything was still more than one sided.

Maybe the thought of his dad coming back soon made him feel better and fall asleep sooner. If he had thought about Kihyun and Hoseok instead, he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to sleep at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you also feel the upcoming showhyuk bonus chapter???????


	20. 17.1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall have no idea what means to procrastinate until you have a ready chapter and upload it two months later
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> and even after two months........................................its still shit

It wasn't something Minhyuk would share with anyone. It wasn't something he wanted people to know. Because he knew that others like him are always being made fun of. Therefore he kept quiet about everything, not mentioning a thing or make others suspect he was different. Among his friends, Hyunwoo was the only one who knew because he was his closest and most understanding friend.

Once Minhyuk had a real family. Though he couldn't remember because he was too young, he knew he was happy. He was just like every other child in the kindergarten until his mom died because she was really sick. A lot of money had gone for the funeral to be held and his dad didn't have enough money to raise him, so he was forced to put him for adoption. Minhyuk lost his family and his friends at the same time.

He was in the orphanage for around three years, already lost every single piece of hope that anyone was going to adopt him. The older you were, the less was the chance of someone to take you, he learned. But then he was introduced to his new parents. Minhyuk wasn't sure if he could trust his foster parents. He was too scared to trust them. _What if they left him like his dad did?_ He was just a child, he wasn't able to understand that his dad wanted a better life for him, but he wasn't the one who could afford it.

With time, Minhyuk was gradually getting used to his new parents to a point he could finally call them his family. He was seeing his dad quite often, too. He was happy even though he knew he was adopted and the people who he was calling mom and dad weren't his real parents. He even got a boyfriend in his first year of high school and everyone was really supportive and accepting him the way he was. Life was going great for him and he was the happiest he could be.

The only thing that he remained a mystery for him was what happened to his biological mom.

\--

"Minhyuk, why are you crying?" Hyunwoo asked when Minhyuk called him, weeping.

"My parents told me my biological mom is dead... And that's why I was put for adoption... Because dad couldn't take care of me..." Minhyuk was stumbling over his words, while trying not to cry. "...I was a burden for him... And I still am..."

"Are you hungry?" Hyunwoo suddenly changed the subject, confusing Minhyuk a lot.

The other stopped crying, not sure if he heard Hyunwoo correctly. "What?"

"I'm coming over. Tell me if you want to eat anything, because I'm going to stop at the convenience store on my way."

"I want cookies..." He mumbled, wiping his tears away. "And bubble tea..."

"Strawberry or peach?"

"Strawberry."

It took Hyunwoo a while to get to Minhyuk's house, but he was hurrying to get there as fast as possible. He was welcomed by Minhyuk's foster mom, who was smiling brightly at him as she invited him to come in.

Hyunwoo went upstairs where Minhyuk's room was. He walked in without bothering to knock. Minhyuk was curled up in one of the edges of his bed and scrolling on his phone. He looked up at Hyunwoo, who was walking towards Minhyuk with his bubble tea and a plastic bag, full of food.

"Thank you," Minhyuk said as he took the cup. Hyunwoo left the plastic bag on the night stand and sat next to Minhyuk, wrapping an arm around the other's waist, pulling him closer to himself. Minhyuk left his phone aside next to the plastic bag and looked at Hyunwoo, the tips of their noses lightly brushing.

He was about to say something, when Hyunwoo interrupted. "You're not a burden. And you never were."

"It feels like I am..." Minhyuk took a sip from the tea, trying his best not to start crying again. He knew that looking back at Hyunwoo would've also made him cry, so he was avoiding eye contact until he was done with his tea. Hyunwoo gave him as much time as he needed, not taking his eyes off of him.

Minhyuk left the empty cup on the ground since there was no free space on the nightstand already. He rested his head on Hyunwoo's chest. The other's heartbeat was calming. It was the type of silence that was hinting them not to talk. Not that Minhyuk felt like talking nor did Hyunwoo know what to say to make him feel better.

At least Hyunwoo was happy that he was doing a great job as Minhyuk's personal teddy bear.

"Stop overthinking it," Hyunwoo broke the silence after a while, already feeling sick of the tension he felt in the room. "What is important right now is that you happened to be in a family that loves you and supports you. And they're doing everything for you to be happy. Your mom would be really proud to see the person you grew up to be."

"Would she...?"

"Of course."

\--

Five hours ago everything was fine. Minhyuk was spending time with his father. Nothing was wrong. Absolutely nothing.

Five hours later Minhyuk was in an ambulance, not being able to do anything else but cry at the sight of his father fighting for his life.

" _Why didn't you tell me that you don't feel well?_ " Minhyuk blubbered, holding his dad's hand. " _This could've been avoided..._ "

He spent the whole night running around from a doctor to a nurse then back to a doctor and so on, either searching for help or having to explain what happened over and over again, frustrated that no one looked like they were taking him seriously. He needed to get some sleep as soon as possible because he had school in just a few hours and he was tired as hell, but he had to be there for his father.

When he made sure that the doctors were taking care of his dad, Minhyuk hurried back home and prepared for school. By that time he had already drunk five cups of coffee that weren't helping him stay awake at all. On his way to school he was just thinking how he wanted to go back in bed.

Minhyuk and Hyunwoo usually met at the school entrance and that day wasn't an exception. Hyunwoo immediately noticed that something was wrong with him because Minhyuk always greeted him with a smile. But this time he didn't. He had his head hanging low, not taking his eyes off of the ground.

"Are you okay?" Hyunwoo put his hands on the other's waist, pulling him closer.

"I've been running around in the hospital the whole night because dad's condition is critical. I just want to go to bed and sleep and everything to be okay after I wake up..."

Hyunwoo grabbed Minhyuk's hand, leading him inside the building, so they weren't standing in the cold. They sat on a bench next to the entrance. Hyunwoo was rubbing Minhyuk's back soothingly while trying to calm him down a bit. "Go home and sleep then."

"I will stay for the first class and then I will go home."

\--

Right before walking into the classroom Minhyuk received a call from the hospital. He quickly realized that he wasn't going to be able to sleep any time soon. His father was going to go through life saving important surgery and they told him that he didn't need to go there until they've called him to tell him the surgery was over, but Minhyuk felt it as his duty to go.

During the whole class he was nervously playing with Hyunwoo's hand, not really able to focus on what the teacher was saying. He was mentally cursing himself about everything that was happening.

The only thing that managed to cheer him up the whole day was Hyunwoo. He even bothered to go to the hospital after school just to see how he was and to bring him food. He also convinced Minhyuk to go home and rest.

Minhyuk let Hyunwoo stay with him the whole night no matter how uncomfortable he felt. Just like everyone else, Hyunwoo was used to seeing him happy and something didn't add up when he was sad. It didn't suit him at all.

The blonde fell asleep the moment he was cradled in the other's hands which showed how tired he was. All he needed was something soft and warm and he was already asleep. Hyunwoo noticed that Minhyuk was probably dreaming of something nice because the corners of his lips were slightly curved into a smile.

A few hours later Minhyuk received another call from the hospital while he was still asleep. Hyunwoo picked up instead of waking Minhyuk up. They told him that the surgery was successful and Minhyuk's dad was stabilized. He thanked them and left the phone aside after he hung up. He noticed that Minhyuk had woken up.

"Who was it?" Minhyuk asked sleepily.

"They called from the hospital. Your dad is okay. You have nothing to worry about anymore. We will go and see him tomorrow." Hyunwoo ran his fingers through Minhyuk's hair, kissing him on the forehead. "Go back to sleep."

"Okay."

\--

Once everything was back to normal, Hyunwoo was glad that he could see Minhyuk smiling again. He really disliked seeing him gloomy and he promised himself he was going to do everything possible for him to be happy no matter what.

"Give me your hand," Hyunwoo said.

"Why?" Minhyuk tilted his head, but gave his hand anyways. His eyes widened as Hyunwoo took it in his and with his free hand he put a ring on his ring finger. " _I-is that an engagement ring?_ "

"You can call it that if you want to." Hyunwoo giggled. "It's a promise ring."

"But why?" 

"Because I want to be with you forever. And I want to continue making you happy just like you do for me."

Minhyuk wrapped his arms around Hyunwoo's neck, pulling him in a tight hug, not letting him continue talking because he knew he was going to tear up. "Where is yours, though?" Hyunwoo took out another ring from his pocket. Minhyuk took it and put it on Hyunwoo's ring finger, kissing him afterwards. A wide smile spread on his face as he looked up at the brunette. "Let's go show them to my parents, they're going to like them." Minhyuk, not waiting for a response, got up and started pulling Hyunwoo towards the living room. "Then we gotta show them to dad and--" He looked up at Hyunwoo. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You're cute," Hyunwoo answered.

"Shut up."

Hyunwoo sighed with a smile as he followed Minhyuk, thinking about how no one else was as perfect as him.


	21. 18

With every time Hoseok's phone notified for a new message, Hyungwon was slowly but successfully getting more and more annoyed. He knew it was Kihyun, but he couldn't check what the messages were because Hoseok was taking a shower and he didn't want to interfere his private space.

When Hoseok was done, he went out of the bathroom with a towel way too smaller than the one he usually used and it was barely covering _anything_. He quickly got clothes and went back in the bathroom, muttering something under his nose along the lines of how he couldn't find his towel.

As he walked back into his room fully dressed, he saw Hyungwon scrolling on his phone, his face a vibrant shade of red. He quickly figured out it was because of the "towel accident". He walked to the bed and crawled between Hyungwon's legs, putting his phone aside with a somewhat cheeky smile. Hyungwon was trying his best to avoid looking back at him.

"What are you thinking about?" Hoseok asked, tilting his head.

Hyungwon felt too embarrassed, so he said what was the first thing that came to his mind. "How Kihyun hasn't stopped texting you the past twenty minutes."

"Oh." Hoseok reached for his phone and quickly scrolled through the 42 unread messages. He slightly blushed because of some of them, but he didn't want Hyungwon to know that it was something that he shouldn't see. He pretended like nothing happened and left his phone aside. He lied down, resting his head on Hyungwon's chest and wrapping his arms around his body.

"'Don't tell me you're actually trying your luck with him again." Hyungwon started running his fingers through Hoseok's hair, combing it gently.

" _Pffft. No way_ ," Hoseok lied. "He's just nagging me to help him in League of Legends."

Hyungwon let out a snort. "What does he even know about League of Legends?"

" _Exactly_."

They heard the front door open, but assumed it was Mrs. or Mr. Shin, so they didn't move. Hyungwon just continued petting Hoseok, thinking about how pretty he looked even when he was as sleep deprived as he currently was.

Suddenly the door opened and Mrs. Chae walked in, startling both Hyungwon and Hoseok and causing them to move away from each other, sitting at the two opposite ends of the bed.

"Mom!" Hyungwon said cheerfully, wishing all of this ended sooner.

"Your homeroom teacher called me," Mrs. Chae said with a strict tone, obviously not very happy to see her son. "You are going home with me now."

" _What?!_ What did she call you for?" Hyungwon got up, taking his school bag from the ground.

"Your grades." Without saying anything else Hyungwon's mom headed outside.

"Sorry," Hyungwon mumbled. He walked over to Hoseok, placing a light kiss on his lips. "I will come over later." He followed Mrs. Chae outside before Hoseok could even respond.

The blonde sighed, taking his phone again and reading the new messages Kihyun had sent him. He was making him go to his house to " _help a friend in need_ ". Knowing Mrs. Chae well enough, Hoseok also knew that Hyungwon wasn't going to be free anytime soon and that he shouldn't be doing what he was about to do, but he got up, put his jacket on and walked outside, heading to Kihyun's place.

\--

Mrs. Chae didn't stop nagging Hyungwon for more than an hour about how it was his last year in high school and that he had to study harder than ever, but instead he was spending time doing nothing with Hoseok. Not that she minded him being with Hoseok, she was just getting quite pissed off because of how he seemed like he didn't care about his education.

"What happened to you Hyungwon? You weren't like that before." After not getting an answer for a while, Mrs. Chae pursed her lips, getting even more annoyed. "Is it because of Hoseok?"

Hyungwon's eyes widened as he almost choked on his saliva, finally paying a bit more attention on the conversation. " _Mom??? Are you okay?_ Why would he have to do anything with my grades?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "People do weird things when they're in love." Hyungwon wasn't one to understand things that quickly, but at that moment he was more than sure that his mom wanted to get more out of him besides the reasons for his grades.

"I'm not gay." He got up and went to his room, hoping she would stop suspecting him. As if she didn't know too much already. He hoped she didn't know that they almost got it on twice, but with her spy skills he wasn't even going to be surprised if she knew. He felt so embarrassed.

He buried his face in his pillow, trying to remember how good Hoseok's touch felt against his skin. He really wished something more had happened, but considering Hoseok's relationship with Kihyun that came almost right after, maybe it was for the better that they hadn't done anything.

A sudden realization hit him as he started thinking about Hoseok and Kihyun's relationship. They have probably had their first time already. And if it really was like that, that meant Hyungwon had lost a bet they had made in their first year. He sighed, not really wanting to believe they've done it. _Because of the bet, of course._

Meanwhile Mrs. Chae was calling Mrs. Shin, telling her how she couldn't get a lot of information, but soon she was going to make Hyungwon confess he liked Hoseok.

\--

Kihyun lied down next to Hoseok, breathing heavily. He brushed his thumb against the blonde's cheekbone, pulling him into a kiss. "If you keep being so good, I might want to be with you again."

Hoseok wrapped his arms around Kihyun's skinny bare waist. "We both know that you're a great liar and what you said just proved it," he grinned. "Use your lies against someone who will believe them."

"I can't even lie to you anymore, you're horrible," Kihyun pouted, laughing right after. He started running his fingers against Hoseok's chest. "Is Hyungwon still trying to win your heart?"

"I guess," Hoseok shrugged. "I think he is, but right now he is trying to be low key about it. A few days ago he was threatening me that if I played him, I would get on his bad side."

Kihyun rolled his eyes. "But it's boring when you're not allowed to play with someone's feelings. It's not like he can do anything to you, though."

"Shut up. I really don't want to hurt him."

" _Oh, come on._ You've loved him since year one. You just have to forget about me and let him in your heart again." Kihyun was trying his best giving Hoseok advice, but he was sure that if he got into a relationship with Hyungwon, it was going to flop soon after.

\--

Hoseok walked into his room and his eyes widened as he saw Hyungwon lying in his bed. It was already after 1AM and he felt in quite an awkward situation. "What are you doing here"

Hyungwon looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow. "As long as I remember, I told you I'm going to come over. Where were you?"

"I was over at Kihyun's house. He called me to help him."

Not wanting to know more, Hyungwon patted on the bed, making Hoseok lie down next to him. "I want to ask you something." Hoseok's blood froze, but he did as Hyungwon gestured. He felt as if his best friend had already found him out about everything he had been doing lately.

"What?"

"But don't lie to me, okay?" Hoseok nodded. "Are you virgin?" The blonde just shook his head. Hyungwon sighed even though he got the same answer he was expecting. "Kihyun?"

"Hyungwon, look, I don't think you should be getting mad because of that. We were dating. I don't see the problem."

"You're right," Hyungwon sighed again. He took his head in his hands, not knowing what to say. He felt Hoseok climb on top of him. He put his hands down and looked at the other. "I'm just jealous, I guess... After what almost happened between us..."

"Well, I'm not with him anymore, so..."

Both of them weren't sure what to do. They were just looking into each other's eyes, not saying anything. Hoseok thought Hyungwon looked really beautiful. He wanted to kiss him so much. He didn't want to start anything because he still had some sort of a relationship with Kihyun, but soon he realized Hyungwon had put his hand behind his neck, kissing him.

It was already too late to stop him. He had to end everything between himself and Kihyun as soon as possible.


	22. 19

Hyungwon was soon to find out about Hoseok's lies. He already felt like there was something quite odd in the blond's behavior and he had to find out what it was. They've known each other for too long for Hyungwon to be fooled. (He may have gotten fooled a lot by now, but he wasn't going to let that continue at least.)

He didn't have any proof that Hoseok was doing anything wrong, so he just rolled with everything happening around him, waiting for something that was going to give him away. He was happy with Hoseok anyways. So he didn't mind some peace at least for a while. Even if it lasted only two days.

\--

"Let's watch a movie," Hyungwon suggested, looking down at Hoseok who was using him as a pillow again. Hoseok shook his head lightly. "Then let's watch Torchwood just like you _promised_ last year."

"Wasn't it _you_ who promised it?" Hoseok chuckled.

"Pretty sure it was you."

Hoseok sighed. "I just don't want to watch anything right now." He looked at Hyungwon after he heard him sighing. "We will watch Torchwood tomorrow." Instead of saying anything, the brunette pulled him closer, kissing him.

The shorter rolled over to sit on top of Hyungwon and deepen the kiss. He felt the other's hands run under his T-shirt, his nails lightly digging into his waist.

Since their moms were out they were free to do whatever they wanted to. And they indeed wanted to try out a thing or two. And, on top of that, Hyungwon obviously had a hard time keeping his hands for himself.

He sat up, positioning Hoseok on his lap, his hands still roaming all over his back. As their kiss was getting faster and rougher, Hyungwon took off Hoseok's hoodie and threw it on the ground, followed by his own.

"Continuing from where we left off, _hm_?" Hoseok smirked. He started kissing and biting Hyungwon's neck all over while slowly grinding against him. The other was too busy undoing the blond's belt to answer him. Soon Hoseok's jeans were discarded on the ground somewhere next to their hoodies.

"It's not fair that you are way more experienced," Hyungwon complained, his hands sliding under Hoseok's boxers.

"It was your mom's fault that she came back home earlier."

"Are you blaming my mom that I didn't steal your virginity?" Hyungwon snorted.

"I'm blaming your mom for many things." Hoseok lifted his head up with a smile. "And, _yes_ , that's definitely one of them." He continued what he was previously doing.

"You're an idiot." Hyungwon breathed out heavily as he felt a hand on his bulge, barely letting him finish his sentence.

He didn't mean to look at Hoseok's phone screen when he heard the notification and it lit up, showing a text message from Kihyun. He didn't mean to read it either. Thought not on purpose, the brunette was glad that he saw it. Hoseok was frozen on his lap, staring at his phone just to avoid the other's gaze and hoping the screen went dark sooner.

"Hoseok," Hyungwon said with a stern voice, making Hoseok get goosebumps all over. Hyungwon moved his hands away from the blond. "Get off of me." His slow and calm talking made the tension grow bigger. "And leave the house before I kick you out myself. I can't look at you."

"No..." Hoseok tried making Hyungwon rethink, but his guilty look didn't work. Hyungwon got up, forcing the other to do the same. "Hyungwon, I can explain..."

" _Just get out of here_ , I don't need you to explain anything," Hyungwon raised his voice, grabbing Hoseok's hair and slamming him flat against the door. "If you want to be a whore, I'm far from stopping you. But I won't allow that happening in my house nor with me. _Understood?_ " Hoseok just nodded, his eyes squeezing shut from the pain. Hyungwon had started pulling on his hair harder.

Hyungwon dragged him all the way to the front door, still pulling his hair, and finally pushed him outside. "You're so lucky that it's midnight and people aren't able to see how _disgusting_ and _miserable_ you are. Go find someone else to play with. _Kihyun_ for example." Before Hoseok could say anything the door was shut. He was just standing there for a while until he got back home. He realized his clothes were still at Hyungwon's, so he took new ones from his wardrobe and went outside again just to find out his phone wasn't with him either. It didn't matter anyways. He had nothing to hide from Hyungwon anymore. Just like before.

\--

When Hyungwon climbed into Hoseok's room he was pissed off because of the fact that he, _once again_ , found nothing but an empty room. He left Hoseok's belongings on his bed, still refusing to look at the other's phone, and went back home. He really wanted to know what they were talking about with Kihyun, but he already knew too much.

Hoseok obviously chose Kihyun once again. Hyungwon had no reason to care.

\--

Hoseok decided to not go to school. He didn't want to go through the embarrassment of seeing Hyungwon at least for a day. Not that Hyungwon noticed his absence. He was too busy with his phone to notice that his so called best friend wasn't around. If he was there, he was going to stick with Kihyun anyways.

At some point Minhyuk pulled up a chair and sat opposite of Hyungwon with a serious look on his face. He was going mom mode for some reason and Hyungwon didn't quite like where that was going.

"Hyungwon," Minhyuk said. "Don't be stupid and talk to him."

" _No way_ ," Hyungwon snorted.

Minhyuk's expression suddenly went softer and so did his voice. "I know what he was doing with Kihyun and that it was going on for a while. And that he had been lying to you... _And that he even almost slept with you_... But you need to understand that those things are most likely trivial. Your friendship is stronger than that, you can't let something like that to just ruin it so easily. He hadn't done anything with Kihyun ever since you've kissed him and he's been trying to end everything between himself and Kihyun."

Hyungwon was suspicious of how much Minhyuk knew and how he sounded as if he had been around the whole time. But the fact that he said that Hoseok hasn't done anything with Kihyun just wasn't adding up to what he knew. "There's no way they hadn't done anything together. He was over at Kihyun's last night." The mocking smile that appeared on Minhyuk's face confused Hyungwon. "What?"

"And who told you he was at Kihyun's?" Minhyuk's smile was spreading wider and Hyungwon was already freaking out.

"I... I just know he was there..."

" _Oh_. Then the boy who was crying in my room at 2am wasn't Hoseok?"

When Hyungwon heard that, he felt his eyes widen and his heart drop. " _He was crying?_ "

The blonde nodded. "I'm not telling you to forgive him. Not at all. Just make sure that your friendship remains." Minhyuk patted Hyungwon on the shoulder and left him alone to think. 

No matter how much he didn't want to see Hoseok, it seemed like he had to.

Right after school, Hyungwon visited Hoseok. He saw the latter watching TV on the ground, his head rested on his bed. Before Hyungwon could say anything, Hoseok made a dismissing gesture, telling him to go away.

"Wonho," Hyungwon said, the name already feeling a bit unfamiliar on his tongue. "Can we talk?"

"You didn't want to listen to me, so why should I listen to you now?" Hoseok lifted his head up a bit. Hyungwon felt a bit annoyed because Hoseok definitely wasn't in his right to talk like that, but he ignored him.

"I will listen to you then." Hyungwon sat in front of Hoseok, blocking the blond's view and making him groan. "Go on."

The shorter sighed, burying his face in the bed. "I don't like Kihyun in _that_ way anymore," he mumbled. "Right now he is nothing more than just a fuck buddy."

"That's wrong..."

"I know," Hoseok whined. "Let's just forget this happened... _Please_. I can't stand fighting with you and you being mad at me..."

Hyungwon clicked his tongue and reached to grab Hoseok's hand with a warm smile. "I can't forgive you so easily." Even though he said that, his actions were completely opposite of his words. He pulled the other, making him crawl into his embrace. "But it doesn't mean I've stopped loving you." Hoseok blushed and buried his face in Hyungwon's shirt.

"I'm sorry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my christmas gift for you is almost canon hyungwonho


	23. 20

" _I hate you_."

Hoseok's eyes widened and he suddenly looked up. He was staring at Hyungwon who was now walking away.

It was the first time Hoseok heard words so heavy. He wouldn't have cared if it was said by someone who wasn't dear to him. But now there were tears ready to overflow from his eyes.

He was just standing there, still looking at the direction Hyungwon headed to. " _I'm sorry_ ," he whispered, though a bit too late. " _I'm so sorry_."

"I told you it wouldn't last," Kihyun laughed. "You two were never meant to be, sweetheart." He headed back home, leaving the blond all alone.

Hoseok grit his teeth and wiped away his tears, pretending he was strong enough to handle all of this. He couldn't stand being in front of Kihyun's house anymore, so he started going to a direction completely unknown for him. As long as he had his phone with him along with a power bank, he didn't care if he was going to get lost. If Hyungwon hated him, he didn't have a reason good enough to follow him.

He did everything he could. He tried his best getting close to Hyungwon again. He was spending as much time with him as he could. He even cut off Kihyun. And it was all put to waste because Kihyun purposefully did him dirty because he was aware Hyungwon was watching.

"Mom?" Hoseok said hesitantly as Mrs. Shin picked up. "Sorry for calling you so late... I just wanted to tell you I won't be coming home tonight..."

After a short talk, Hoseok hung up and continued walking. A few streets ago most things were familiar but now he definitely didn't know where he was.

\--

"How did you even assume that _this_ was a good idea?" Jooheon looked at Changkyun, taking one of the suitcases the latter was carrying.

Changkyun's head was hanging low from embarrassment. "I just wanted to be with you." He felt Jooheon's fingers interlace with his own and he looked up, but let go as soon as he saw someone familiar. "Isn't that Hoseok?"

Jooheon looked up at the visibly lost male who was walking towards them. "Seems like it."

Soon enough Hoseok realized that the two "strangers" were actually Jooheon and Changkyun, so he stopped when they were near enough.

"You look lost," Jooheon teased as he gave Hoseok a fist bump. "What's bringing you here?"

"Current life events," Hoseok shrugged. "And why are you here?"

"I'm running away from home," Changkyun announced, already sounding proud of his actions. "And he's saving my ass."

"My house is like a street away, that's why we're here," Jooheon added so it was already clear for Hoseok. "Do you want to come with us? You don't seem like you have where else to go." Hoseok just nodded. The three of them started heading to Jooheon's house. It was really quiet and Hoseok felt unfit for their company since Jooheon and Changkyun were usually hanging out alone with no one bothering them. From what Hoseok saw, their love was still silent.

No one really knew anything more about their relationship and why weren't they together but they respected their choice. Now Hoseok felt how many things between the two seemed left unspoken, making him wonder. Or it was just him. Probably nothing was the way he was seeing it.

When they arrived in Jooheon's house they had to sneak into his room as quickly and quietly as possible. They almost got caught by the boy's dad who went out of his room just a few seconds after the three could "evacuate" in Jooheon's room.

"He probably didn't hear us." Jooheon plopped on the bed after leaving Changkyun's suitcases aside. "Make yourself comfortable, boys."

\--

Unlike Jooheon, both Changkyun and Hoseok couldn't fall asleep, both for different reasons, so they were sitting on a quite big armchair, placed in one of the corners of the room. Hoseok had his head rested on Changkyun's shoulder and Changkyun was just playing with the other's fingers. They were having a not so lightweighted (at least for Hoseok) conversation about Hyungwon and Kihyun, shared through whispers.

"Kihyun changed a lot," Changkyun explained. "He wasn't like this before. I'm not sure if I can call him my best friend anymore. I wasn't friends with a person like that..."

"Then don't call him that," Hoseok bit out. "He doesn't deserve it."

"Probably," the brunette sighed. "I know it's too obvious, but you have to make up with Hyungwon. Don't let Kihyun ruin everything just because he decided he can. If you've really started liking Hyungwon all over again, as you're saying, you have to fix everything."

Hoseok nodded lightly. "I will." After a few moments of silence Hoseok looked up at Changkyun. "What's happening between you and Jooheon tho?"

"Eh?!" Changkyun knitted his eyebrows. "There's nothing to be happening."

" _Oh, come on_. You were acting like a married couple until year two or something. Now it seems like the stage of your marriage when you can't stand each other."

Changkyun buried his face in the other's blond hair, blushing. "You know how when you love someone, you're addicted to every touch you share and you start craving them... Right?" Hoseok just nodded. "We just can't do that freely. Exactly because it's addicting. For now we can't because of my mom's sick ambitions and his dad. But soon everything will be alright and we will be together." Though he was smiling, he felt like crying so much. Thinking about it hurt enough, but now talking about it made him feel even worse.

"Changkyun," Jooheon's voice sounded and they both looked at him immediately. He had rolled to his side with one hand raised up in the air, gesturing at Changkyun to go there.

The boy felt bad for leaving Hoseok, but after receiving a reassuring smile by the latter, he got up and went over to Jooheon, lying down next to him, wrapped by his strong arms.

Even though Hoseok was left alone and he felt even more out of place, he was happy for Jooheon and Changkyun. Maybe they just didn't need words to communicate.

Meanwhile, his problems with Hyungwon could've only been solved by words.

\--

Since Hoseok hadn't gone home, his school bag was with him. He had no excuse to skip school. On top of that, Jooheon and Changkyun basically dragged him there, talking him out of his anxiety.

"I wish you didn't go to school by foot," Hoseok breathed out as they were walking to their classroom. "Have you heard about taking the bus?"

"What is a bus?" Jooheon smiled mockingly, making Changkyun chuckle.

Hoseok was about to say something but they had already reached the classroom and just when he walked in, he bumped into Hyungwon who was about to go out in the hallway. Jooheon and Changkyun quickly walked in without saying anything, leaving the other two staring at each other. Suddenly most of the class wasn't minding their own business, but was looking at Hyungwon and Hoseok because of the tension around them.

As Hyungwon noticed that everyone was staring at them, he pursed his lips and grabbed Hoseok by the wrist, leading him outside. The hallway was still kind of crowded but at least no one was paying attention to them.

Hoseok looked up at Hyungwon with the slightest bit of hope that he wasn't mad at him anymore and that what happened the day before stayed there. Unfortunately, he was met by neglect.

"Do you really hate me?" Hoseok mumbled, looking down at the ground. He already knew the answer.

When he looked up because he wasn't getting an answer, Hyungwon wasn't even there. Once again he had walked away. The same situation as the previous day. Nothing changed.

 _Definitely_ , Hoseok answered his own question as he went back to the classroom.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my second (late) christmas (and new year's) gift for you is ruining the almost canon hyungwonho
> 
> also broken glass spoilers??? totes


	24. 21

Hoseok barely even managed to have a proper conversation with his mom after school. He just explained that he slept over at Jooheon's house so she didn't have to worry and then he went out again, telling her he had to take care of something. She never asked him too much. Whenever he felt like it, he shared everything with her. Now he just didn't have time because he needed to talk to Hyungwon who seemed to have gone home during the lunch break at school.

Millions of possible conversations were passing through his head as he was walking towards the Chae's house. Every hint of thought faded as he rang the door bell. His mind went completely blank.

For some reason Mrs. Chae looked suspiciously happy when she opened the door and saw Hoseok. "Hello, Hoseok," she greeted warmly. She never did that. It was giving him the creeps. _Why would she act nice all of a sudden?_

"Hi," Hoseok said awkwardly and bowed lightly. "Can I go see Hyungwon if it's possible?"

"Yes, of course." She welcomed him in. "Just don't get too close to him."

"Why?" Hoseok looked up at her as he was taking off his shoes.

"I think he's getting sick again but he doesn't really want to tell me if he isn't feeling well, so it would be good if you're more cautious around him."

Hoseok went to Hyungwon's room just to find him asleep. Or at least he looked like he was asleep. His nightstand was covered by a gross pile of used (or even overused) tissues. Some of which had fallen on the ground. Not the most welcoming sight.

Totally not listening to Mrs. Chae's advice, Hoseok sat on the edge of the bed, slowly caressing Hyungwon's arm. When Hyungwon sleepily turned to Hoseok, thinking that it was his mom, and opened his eyes he was very disappointed it wasn't her. " _Fuck off_ ," he muttered turning back to the other side. He flinched as he felt Hoseok's hand brush against his forehead.

"You have a fever," Hoseok concluded.

"Tell mom and get out of here." Hyungwon pulled the blanket over his head so Hoseok couldn't touch him. "I don't need you around me."

"Okay."

\--

"I think I told you to get out," Hyungwon growled as he saw Hoseok walking in with medicines of all different kinds (most of which Hyungwon currently didn't need). The shorter temporarily left the meds on the ground until he threw away the tissues so he could put what was actually sanitary and usable on the nightstand. " _Stop it._ "

" _Make me._ " Hyungwon lifted himself up a bit from the bed, enough to reach out and grab Hoseok by the collar, pulling him closer.

Once again he was talking slowly and intimidatingly, glaring at into the other's eyes... "I don't want you around me. I don't want you to take care of me. Just leave me alone and never come back here."

...But this time Hoseok wasn't really scared. He just put his hands on either side of Hyungwon's soft cheeks. He remained calm. Hyungwon thought he knew him well enough to predict that he was going to start crying but he didn't. "No matter how much you're trying to push me away, I would never leave you."

"And why is that?"

Hoseok suddenly looked away, the lightest hint of a blush spreading across his face. "It's because I love you," he mumbled.

"What?" Hyungwon asked, not sure if he heard correctly or he was already imagining things because of the fever. "Could you repeat?"

"I..." Hoseok took a deep breath and looked at Hyungwon again, his face already red like a tomato. "I love you, Hyungwon. And I know I don't deserve you and you're in your full right to hate me. I just want to stay by your side... I will even if you don't want to." Hoseok trembled a bit as Hyungwon let go of his collar and wrapped his arms around his neck.

"You really mean all of this?" The brunette pressed his forehead against Hoseok's. He didn't want to believe. He didn't want to fall for the same lie all over again. He didn't want to give Hoseok another chance. He just wanted to give _himself_ a chance to not be an idiot and to not trust Hoseok. But he sounded like he was speaking the truth.

"I do. Every single word. I mean it. Especially the fact that I don't deserve you. Because I never did." Warm tears started running down his cheeks as he was only feeling worse when he continued talking. "I'm sorry for every time I've made you sad and hurt you. I really am... If I could reverse time, I'd just go back to the time when we were 16 so I can ask you on a date from the very beginning... So none of this could happen..."

Hyungwon finally gave in. He couldn't stay indifferent anymore because he decided to trust Hoseok. The fact that he was crying made him so weak. He couldn't watch his _best friend_ like that. Acting like he hated Hoseok for real was the most difficult thing he had ever done. He really was mad at him but not enough to hate him. His mind was a mess.

"I love you, too."

Hoseok smiled through tears. He brushed his thumbs across the other's cheeks. "Can I ask you out on a date now?"

"Yes," Hyungwon returned the smile. "It better not be disappointing."

"It will be the best date of your life, I promise," the blond grinned, hugging Hyungwon afterwards. "Even better than the double date in year two."

"The one where your ex started crying because you were paying attention only to me?" Hyungwon chuckled.

"As far as I can remember that was the only double date we've had exactly because she cried, so yeah. The same one."

\--

Because he stayed longer than he intended to and even decided to sleep with Hyungwon, on the next morning Hoseok had a fever too. Mrs. Chae had to take care of both her son and Hoseok since the blond didn't feel well enough to go back home.

"What did I tell you about staying too close to him?" Mrs. Chae sighed as she put a cold compress on Hoseok's forehead. "I will go out to buy some things. You two don't try to move a lot. It would be even better if you sleep for an hour or two while the medicines do their thing."

As soon as she walked out of the room Hyungwon grabbed Hoseok's hand, entwining their fingers. "I have never supposed I would like being sick." He snuggled into the other, resting his head on his shoulder.

"I have never supposed I would ever have a good excuse to skip school." Hyungwon lightly kicked him. "I meant to say I'm happy I'm here with you, too," Hoseok smiled genuinely and kissed the brunette on the forehead.

Hyungwon wanted to try to suggest watching Torchwood but both of them had been given some meds that made them really sleepy so they didn't feel like doing anything. They were just laying in silence, breathing heavily. Unlike Hyungwon, Hoseok was coughing a lot and he already felt like his throat was bleeding ( _"I swear I can taste the blood, I'm not being overdramatic"_ ).

Staying together wasn't happening in the way they imagined it but it was the closest they could currently pull off. They were both gross and tired and complaining about everything because they were either too hot or too cold and someone (Hoseok) didn't stop hogging the covers and they just wanted to sleep but couldn't because they were low key scared they were going to suffocate because of their stuffed noses. But at least they were together after all. Already in every way possible. And hopefully for longer than two days.

"Hey, Wonho," Hyungwon broke the silence with his sleepy voice.

"Hm?" Hoseok opened his eyes, glancing down at the other.

"Isn't it weird?"

"What?"

"That we're together..."

"It is."

"Let's not change that."

"Yeah." Hoseok's grip on Hyungwon's hand tightened. "Let's not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *for everyone who reads broken glass/hotel au:  
> both fics are currently on hold until i finish together or come up with something better than what i already have


	25. 22

The room was so quiet that the specific sound of skin brushing against skin could be heard as if louder than usual along with the sound of heavy breathing. Things, that never got the chance to be voiced out before, were spoken in the form of whispers. And it felt like time had stopped because nothing else really mattered except that Hyungwon and Hoseok were finally finding their way to each other. Currently nothing could get in the way of their shared happiness. And they wanted to believe it was going to be like that forever.

Once they felt slightly better after a not so short nap Hyungwon and Hoseok literally couldn't let go of each other. Almost as if they were glued together. Hyungwon always had his arms wrapped around the other even when his mother walked into the room, not caring about the weird glances she was throwing at them or about how embarrassed Hoseok got every time, his face flushed in red.

Lately they hadn't talked that much and it was like they weren't catching up on a few months but a few years. They were basically getting to know each other all over again, including the innocence of when they first met and were really shy and awkward.

"I feel like your mom hates me," Hoseok quietly shared while drawing circles against Hyungwon's chest with his finger after they had been surrounded by silence for a while. It's been a thing that had always bothered him and it wasn't the first time he said it.

"Nooo," Hyungwon opposed for probably the millionth time. "She likes you a lot, I promise. She is just acting like she's your mom, too. Especially now because you're sick." Hoseok groaned, burying his face in Hyungwon's sweater. Hyungwon gently kissed the top of the other's head, his fingers slowly combing through his hair. "You know it's our prom soon, right?"

Hoseok looked up again, now with both a confused and dumbfounded expression. "I had completely forgotten."

"Oh, well." Hyungwon pulled the other on top of himself. "I was wondering if you want to go with me."

"I wouldn't go with anyone else," Hoseok smiled, kissing Hyungwon softly.

A moment after their lips parted, Mrs. Chae walked in and Hoseok almost screamed. He pulled away from Hyungwon, lying back next to him again. It turned out she had just walked in to put Hyungwon's clean and ironed laundry on his chair. But before going out she said "Hyungwon, come in the kitchen, I want to talk with you".

Now Hyungwon was getting a bit nervous, too. He glanced at Hoseok with his lips pursed. Obviously, Hoseok's blood had also ran cold. "If she kills me..." Hyungwon started dramatically. "Tell Kihyun I hate him." Hoseok gave him a nod with a serious expression on his face. The taller got up and went out of the room along with the blanket wrapped around him as the cape of a superhero.

" _The blanket..._ " Hoseok quietly screeched, feeling how the cold was wrapping his whole body.

He was laying in silence for a while, trying to hear anything from the kitchen but it was just muffled voices. The only thing he heard clearly was a loud squeal. He was concerned. Mainly for Mrs. Chae... _And her mental health._

Hyungwon walked back into the room, looking as if a bomb had exploded right in front of his face. Hoseok just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I told mom we're dating, she made a noise that I don't even know what to describe it as... You probably heard it anyways... Then she called your mom..." The brunette went back on his bed, snuggling into Hoseok and wrapping him with the blanket he had taken with himself. "My mom is weird..."

"Has she made some sort of an alliance with mine..." Hyungwon just gave a small nod. The shorter sighed and hugged the other.

\--

Hyungwon's head shot up as he came to a sudden realization. "Dad is coming home tomorrow." Hoseok, who was half asleep, opened his eyes, giving Hyungwon a confused look.

"Whose dad?"

Hyungwon pursed his lips, looking at the other with a resting bitch face, not getting that Hoseok was too sleepy to process anything and probably had no idea what he was talking about nor what was happening. "I really don't know, dude."

"Tell me when you find out," Hoseok said before pulling the blanket over his head and snuggling into Hyungwon. "I love you a lot, Hyungwonnie." He just received a kiss on the top of his head before Hyungwon finally wrapped his arms around him.

Surprisingly, Hyungwon wasn't sleepy at all, so while Hoseok was asleep, he was on his phone. And because he was too bored he was taking pictures of Hoseok sleeping, snuggled into him, sending most of them to Minhyuk who couldn't stop fanboying.

When he finally decided to leave his phone aside to charge, he rested his head closer to Hoseok's, studying his features. He was so beautiful. For a while he thought he would never be able to experience that again - to lie close to Hoseok, knowing that everything was fine. But now things escalated to a direction he surely liked. He felt so happy and in love.

"What are you staring at?" Hoseok asked quietly with a hoarse voice, indicating that he was already awake, causing Hyungwon to panic a bit since he was caught off guard. His nap didn't even last for more than an hour.

"Your ugly face," was the first thing that came to the taller's mind. Thankfully, Hoseok just snorted instead of getting offended like Hyungwon thought he would.

"With a face like yours I don't feel like you're in the right to talk like that about mine."

"Excuse me, have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"Yes. And I look stunning."

"Let's go take a shower and see how stunning you actually look," Hyungwon said smugly. A second later he actually realized what he had said and covered his mouth with his hands. " _Oh, shit._ "

" _Damn_ , Hyungwon, I bet your mom didn't raise you to talk like that." Hoseok opened his eyes as a wide, teasing grin curved on his lips. He wasn't getting any response, so he just got up and grabbed the taller by the hand. "Are you coming with me?"

Hyungwon looked up at him with a frown. "Dude, I didn't mean it for real." Hoseok let go of him and headed to the bathroom with a shrug. Before closing the door he said "Join while you still can", making Hyungwon question why was he being tested like that. Of course, he ended up going after Hoseok, catching him just when he was taking his hoodie off. The shorter was a bit surprised that Hyungwon actually decided he wanted to shower with him. His whole face was flushed red and Hoseok was pretty sure it wasn't because of the fever.

Hoseok walked closer to Hyungwon, pressing soft kisses against his lips, trying to ease the ball of tension the brunette currently was. As he was doing so, he started tugging on Hyungwon's shirt to see if he felt ready enough. Though how embarrassed Hyungwon was, he let him.

After all of their clothes were discarded Hyungwon felt even more embarrassed and kind of regretted going after Hoseok, but, _oh God_ , he never supposed his boyfriend looked so good naked. But the fact how well built he was, didn't change how uncomfortable Hyungwon felt. Probably not mainly about himself since volleyball helped him gain some muscle through the years. But, after all, it was the first time they saw each other naked. The moment felt kind of too intimate, yet he was ruining it by being as awkward as he was.

He wasn't as tense as soon as Hoseok pulled him in the claustrophobically small shower cabin, turning on the water and setting it to ( _mildly close to boiling_ ) warm. After he was done with that, he turned to Hyungwon, putting his hands on either of his cheeks and pulling him closer. "Relax," he whispered. "I know why you're nervous. I am, too. But if you just try to give into it, it will be better, I promise." Hyungwon just nodded, putting his hands on Hoseok's waist while the blond was putting shampoo in his hair. He was probably right, Hyungwon supposed. The fact that Hoseok had a bit more experience calmed him.

"You're staring..." Hoseok pointed out after a while, not being able to not mention how Hyungwon's gaze wasn't fixed on anything else but his body except when he had to close his eyes while rinsing off the shampoo.

"I'm sorry, I just..." He couldn't even find the correct words to express his thoughts. His mind was a mess. "You're just really beautiful." His hand slowly ran up the shorter's torso, stopping at his collarbones. "I feel like there is no way I will not like something about you. You're flawless... _Stunning_."

Just when he was about to lean in and kiss Hoseok, he was interrupted by a loud (and furious) knock on the door. "Hyungwon are you in there with Hoseok?!" Mrs. Chae yelled.

"Yes, we're taking a shower," Hyungwon yelled back, stating the obvious. She had already figured it out, Hyungwon didn't see any point in asking.

"You better go out in less than 5 minutes or I'm going to beat up the both of you. There's enough water for you to shower separately."

After she walked away, the two boys started giggling quietly. They finished up washing themselves (or one another) and walked out, wrapping themselves in towels and going back to Hyungwon's room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from a caring mom to mama chae how much of a cockblocking parent are you


	26. 23

When Hyungwon woke up, Hoseok was not next to him. But his place was still warm. Hyungwon sat in bed, stretching his limbs and feeling them pop in several places along with his back. He yawned and was about to lie down again and go back to sleep. His intention was interrupted when the door opened and Hoseok walked in with a wide grin on his face.

"Good morning," Hoseok greeted, already making Hyungwon feel irritated because of how cheerful he sounded so early in the morning. (It wasn't even morning in the first place, but Hyungwon didn't need to know that.)

"Mornin'," the taller mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Hoseok sat next to him, kissing him on the cheek softly. He moved away a strand of Hyungwon's hair so it wasn't getting in his face. "How did you sleep?" Hyungwon just shrugged. Hoseok suddenly hugged him and pulled him down on the bed, showering the dark haired boy in kisses in an attempt to wake him up.

Instead, it made Hyungwon feel even sleepier. Maybe it had something to do with how comfortable he felt when he was with Hoseok, he wasn't sure.

"What's that sudden outburst of love?" Hyungwon smiled, caressing his boyfriend's cheek.

"I don't know." Hoseok was smiling brighter than the sun and it was warming Hyungwon's heart so much, knowing that smile was only for him and no one else. "I just love you a lot."

"Stop lying." The taller put his hands on the other's chest, gently pushing him away from himself just slightly bit. "You were with Kihyun until just a few days ago, I can't trust you that easily. I hope you understand..."

Hoseok nodded, his smile not managing to fade away from his face. He cupped Hyungwon's cheek, pinching it. "You are the sweetest, there is no possible way I would let myself let go of you ever again." He leaned in, gently kissing the other.

As always, there had to be someone who _had_ to ruin the moment. And that someone always had to be Hyungwon's mom, neither of them knew why was she like that nor why were they cursed for that to happen every time.

She knocked on the door, telling them that lunch was ready.

The two just groaned loudly. "Next time we get sick at my house, okay?" Hoseok looked at Hyungwon.

"Deal. But you know that my mom would still come and interrupt something if she gets the opportunity." The blonde clicked his tongue.

"There's no escape from her."

The two giggled. They made their way out of bed, obviously taking their time.

Hyungwon tripped on a part of the blanket that had somehow ended up on the floor and was about to fall but Hoseok, as a good boyfriend, caught him. The taller only mumbled a quiet, "thanks" before kissing the corner of Hoseok's lips.

"You're really cute but you're also so clumsy, what's wrong with you?" Hoseok snorted, patting Hyungwon on the shoulder.

"Shut up."

Going to the kitchen, the two boys walked in on Mrs. Chae talking on the phone with someone. Soon they figured out it was Mr. Chae.

Hyungwon walked to her. "Can I talk with him?" he whispered

His mom just lifted her hand up as a sign for him to keep quiet and then simply gestured at him to go eat. She had a smile on her face as she was talking to Mr. Chae.

Sometimes Hoseok liked admiring how happy Mr. and Mrs. Chae were even though they were separated most of the time. It just felt nice knowing that some families still loved each other that much.

With those two it didn't matter that they had been together for more than twenty years already because they were still really in love. As much as it made Hoseok happy, it also made him a bit sad.

There was nothing like that between his parents. They didn't love each other anymore, they just lived together. He was probably scared that they were going to divorce even if he wasn't sure if they were actually going to do it.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt Hyungwon's hand resting on his shoulder. "Are you okay?" his gentle voice followed and suddenly all of Hoseok's worries were gone.

"Yeah," he looked up at Hyungwon with a bright smile.

The taller sat to eat next to Hoseok. They were eating in silence while in the background Mrs. Chae was still talking with her husband, laughing every now and then.

"They're cute," Hoseok commented.

"They're like teenagers... It's a bit disturbing."

"Aren't you glad that your parents are still in love?"

Something in the little crack in Hoseok's voice told Hyungwon that there was something bothering him. But he left it aside for now. "I'm glad," he responded with a light smile. He caressed Hoseok on the back. "Will you tell me what's wrong later?"

"Maybe."

\--

Hoseok and Hyungwon finally decided to go out of the house for the first time in a few days. Or, actually, it wasn't _them_ who decided that. Mrs. Chae just suggested that they could go out for a walk because it would be nice for them to get some fresh air.

Surprisingly, the boys didn't protest and just got dressed up and went out.

They were peacefully walking down the street, holding hands.

"Where should we go?" Hyungwon asked, looking down at their hands then at Hoseok.

"Aren't we headed to the forest?" Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

"No?!" Hyungwon suddenly stopped, not wanting to go any further. "You know how scared I am of going there after what happened last time."

"Come on, that was two years ago." Hoseok's grip on the taller's hand got tighter. "I am with you, there is nothing you should be scared of."

The latter didn't really have any other choice. Hoseok wasn't going to stop until he agreed on them going there.

It wasn't much of a "I don't care about your fears, I just want to go to the forest" kind of thing. It was mostly because Hoseok wanted Hyungwon to face his fears and help him overcome them. But he also _really_ wanted to go to the forest.

They walked around ten more minutes until they finally reached the forest. Hoseok felt how Hyungwon was getting more and more nervous. At some point the brunette was about to give up and say he wanted to go back home.

"I'm really having doubts about this..." He mumbled.

"It's just a forest."

"It was just a forest two years ago, too," Hyungwon rolled his eyes. He shivered as he looked around a bit, already feeling lost even though they weren't that far into the forest.

The taller was getting startled almost every time a fallen branch or leaf cracked under his weight or something around them moved due to the wind or God knows for what other reason.

Hoseok was occasionally yelling at him to grow a pair and see that there was nothing to be scared of but, apparently, it wasn't helping.

The wind was howling in-between the trees loudly which was definitely _not_ making the situation any better. The strange sounds were getting more and scarier inside of Hyungwon's head and the only thing he could see was the memory of two years ago.

It was a really friendly place before. When Hoseok and his family moved in in the house opposite of the Chaes', the two boys started regularly going there, having their little hiding places and sometimes even making picnics there.

Now everything was different just because Hyungwon chose the wrong day to walk alone.

Hyungwon hadn't realized when his ankle got tangled in some plant growing out of the ground. He tripped and fell down so fast that this time Hoseok couldn't even catch him.

"Are you okay?" He quickly kneeled, lifting Hyungwon's head up.

"Yeah." Hyungwon sat up, suddenly finding the situation really funny. He started laughing and for a moment Hoseok got a bit concerned if he'd hit his head when falling. "I am _so_ going to die here."

"Well if you continue being so clumsy," Hoseok smiled. He helped Hyungwon get up and grabbed his hand again.

Just when Hyungwon started convincing himself that it wasn't that scary and everything bad was happening because he was freaking out too much, a tree fell right in front of them. Or it was just a really big branch. But it startled the both of them and Hoseok let out a relatively girly scream because of how scared he got.

"This is a dangerous place," Hoseok realized, stepping back a little.

"Wanna go somewhere else? Like the mall or something?" Hyungwon suggested, already turning back and ready to make his way out of that cursed place.

"Yeah... We've been enough eco for today..."


	27. 24

"Mom, please, slow down a bit!" Hyungwon yelled as he was holding onto either the seat or his seatbelt, not able to stay calm no matter how used he was. "Who even let you drive again?!"

"Oh, come on," Mrs. Chae groaned, not really paying attention on the road or anything around it. "What's the worse that can happen?"

" _We can die_!" Hoseok shouted from the backseat, holding on the sides of Hyungwon's seat for dear life.

Mrs. Chae continued driving the way she did, not really bothered by how scared the two boys were. Hyungwon and Hoseok were only left to wonder how did she still have a driving license. Or at least they were trying to but they were too busy being scared for their lives after Hyungwon's mom almost caused a car crash yet again.

Fortunately, they arrived to the airport soon. Hoseok, who wasn't that used to Mrs. Chae's reckless driving, was the first one to get out of the car as soon as it got parked.

Hyungwon went outside almost right after. His knees were shaking a bit but, unlike Hoseok, he was completely fine. "You okay?" he laughed at the shorter, who glared at him.

"I'm going home by bus," Hoseok muttered, looking away from Hyungwon.

The brunet tapped him on the shoulder soothingly. "Don't worry, dad wouldn't let _her_ drive us home." Hoseok let out a sigh of relief.

After Mrs. Chae also went out of the car and locked it, the three headed to the airport terminal.

"You know, we could've asked _my_ mom to drive us here," Hoseok whispered as he leaned closer to Hyungwon. He then received an elbow to the ribs as a sign to shut up.

"Your mom doesn't even drive."

They sat at the nearest free benches they found that luckily weren't nearby some rather big crowd of people.

Hoseok and Mrs. Chae were talking about something completely random just so it wasn't that awkward. Mrs. Chae just asked Hoseok how was he doing at school and, all of a sudden, Hyungwon was all ears instead of being too occupied with his phone. After Hoseok told her that he wasn't doing well, she only assured him that he should focus more on the subjects he liked, not on the ones that weren't going to be of any use in the future.

"Mom, you never tell me that!" Hyungwon gasped.

"Well," Mrs. Chae's gaze shifted on her son, "it's not me who wants to go to an university where you have to be good at everything to get in."

Hyungwon just nodded, looking down at his phone again. "You've got a point."

Mrs. Chae and Hoseok continued talking but now Hoseok was glancing down at Hyungwon every now and then. He was thinking about how there weren't any universities in their town that were _that_ good. Which meant that Hyungwon was going to study in another town. And he never told him.

He started to wonder if Hyungwon was going to tell him at the very last moment. It was a big mood drop for him. He didn't know for how long had Hyungwon planned it. He had no idea if it was something he thought of the last few months or two years ago. And he was internally panicking because of that.

The whole time until Mr. Chae arrived, he was only thinking about when was Hyungwon planning on telling him. He couldn't ask him even though he was right next to him. It felt awkward. The fact that he was also really happy to see Hyungwon's dad kind of distracted him.

The two boys felt how Mrs. Chae was going to break into tears when she saw Mr. Chae approaching so they just stepped aside, leaving them have their reuniting moment.

Hyungwon grabbed Hoseok's hand and comforted his head on the latter's shoulder with a dreamy sigh. "You know, some day I want to have a family like theirs," he said. "Maybe without the child but I still wish I end up with someone who I will love for life."

"I'm here," Hoseok reminded, glancing down at Hyungwon.

The taller chuckled quietly. "You are."

When Mrs. Chae was finally done being all over her husband after ten minutes, Hyungwon and Hoseok basically ran up to him, hugging him tight.

"Look at you, you've grown taller than me already," Mr. Chae looked up at Hyungwon with a proud smile. He ruffled his son's hair. Then his gaze fell on Hoseok. "And why do you never grow?"

" _I do grow!_ " Hoseok opposed, as always feeling relatively offended when his height was being commented.

"Muscle mass doesn't count in this case, kid." Both Hyungwon and his dad laughed, making Hoseok feel even more offended and attacked.

Soon they headed back to the car. Since Mr. Chae was driving this time (for the boys' relief), Mrs. Chae had to sit on the front passenger seat, leaving Hyungwon and Hoseok to sit at the back.

The two were snuggled into each other, watching videos on YouTube. Mr. Chae, as a person who still didn't know that they were dating, noticed that they had gotten much more clingier than the last time he saw them, but still thought that Hyungwon was dating his ex girlfriend and found it a bit weird.

"Hey, Hyungwon," Mr. Chae called, making the boy stop the video they were watching and look up at him. "How is it going with Juyeon?"

Hyungwon bit on his lower lip nervously, glancing at Hoseok then at his dad again, kind of glad that he couldn't look back at him because he was driving.

"We broke up months ago," the dark haired boy admitted. "I'm dating Hoseok now."

"Is that so?" Mr. Chae asked, a bit coldly this time. Hyungwon only nodded.

The rest of the ride was really silent. Only Mr. and Mrs. Chae were talking from time to time but Hyungwon had this really guilty look on his face and suddenly he wasn't sitting that close to Hoseok anymore. He wasn't letting go of his hand but he wasn't holding him that tight either.

\--

The two boys were sitting in Hyungwon's room, waiting for dinner to be ready. Hyungwon was between the shorter's legs, snuggled into him, both wrapped in a blanket.

"What if he doesn't accept me?" Hyungwon mumbled, drawing circles with his index finger against Hoseok's arms.

"Oh, come on," Hoseok ran his fingers through the brunet's hair, pressing a kiss against the back of his head. "You know him well enough, you know he will. He's really accepting. You just need to stop overthinking it." Hyungwon nodded lightly. He was staring down at the other's hands. "Everything is going to be fine. You will see."

Hyungwon turned to face Hoseok, kissing him softly. "Do you think that it would be better if you went home for dinner?" he asked, though he didn't really want to be without his boyfriend. "Just in case my dad is not really positive about our relationship and all. I don't want it to be awkward for you, too."

"If that's how you're going to feel more comfortable," Hoseok smiled. "Call me later to tell me what happened, okay?"

The taller nodded again. They got up and headed down to the front door. Hyungwon stopped by the kitchen to tell his mom that Hoseok wasn't going to have dinner with them and that he was going to walk him home (even though he lived on the opposite side of the street).

"Everything is going to be fine," Hoseok repeated, cupping Hyungwon's cheek. He pulled him closer and kissed him while standing on tip toes.

"I hope so," Hyungwon smiled.


	28. 25

Dinner went really peacefully. Hyungwon even enjoyed the chill atmosphere. Well, it wasn't really chill but that was the usual "peace and quiet" in the Chaes' house. They weren't doing anything but eat and watch some music show that had just started airing. Mrs. Chae was mostly throwing shade at the contestants, Mr. Chae was scolding her to watch her language and Hyungwon was just pretending that he didn't hear his mom's _wide_ vocabulary.

Hyungwon had completely forgotten what was it like to have your whole family around. He was getting so used to only living with his mom (and occasionally with Hoseok) that every time his father got back home, his presence always felt weird at first.

He couldn't really remember a time when his dad had been home for more than four or five months. So many birthdays had been missed, but, if not anything else, at least this time his father made it on time for graduation.

After they were done with dinner and weren't interested in the music show anymore, Mr. Chae called Hyungwon over in the living room. That was when the boy started feeling nervous all over again.

They were on the couch, sitting in silence for a while.

"Dad, if you're going to make me explain myself for anything, regarding my relationship with Hoseok, I won't tell you," Hyungwon spoke before his dad could say anything. "You never questioned me about Juyeon and I'd really appreciate it if you do the same now, too."

"I have nothing against your relationship with Hoseok," Mr. Chae stated calmly. "I wanted to ask about Juyeon. You left her because of him, didn't you?"

Hyungwon nodded. "What does that have to do with anything? It's not like I even knew I liked Hoseok back then... Even though I actually left her for him for real."

"It's important and has something to do with everything because, as you know quite well, she's the daughter of an important business partner of mine and if you have problems with her I might have problems with him."

"We are still good friends," Hyungwon rolled his eyes. "You can be calm that she wouldn't trash talk me and the whole family just because we are not dating anymore. She's probably gotten over it already and maybe even has a new boyfriend, who knows?"

Mr. Chae shrugged. "I hope you're happy with Hoseok, though."

"I'm trying to be," Hyungwon smiled, not even sure what he meant by that.

After the short, and a bit confusing, awkward, uncomfortable--, talk with his dad, Hyungwon went back to his room and called Hoseok to come over. His boyfriend appeared in no time and quickly made himself comfortable on the bed.

"Should I guess that it went well?" Hoseok smiled. Hyungwon nodded and snuggled into the shorter.

"Everything is fine, just like you said. He never really wanted to ask anything about you, but about Juyeon because it turned out that our dads are close."

"What happened with her, though?  I don't see her at school a lot."

"I don't know, really. We text each other from time to time but that's all." Hoseok hummed. "What? Are you getting jealous again?" Hyungwon snorted, pecking the other on the lips.

"Of course not," Hoseok sarcastically responded even though he probably lied a bit. He felt weird when Juyeon was being mentioned. Just like Hyungwon was still getting jealous and annoyed whenever Hoseok mentioned something about Kihyun. But at least he tried acting normal about it. "I will sleep at home tonight, by the way."

"Why?"

"Mom is getting upset that I'm never home lately." Hoseok brushed his thumb against Hyungwon's cheekbone. "You can sleep over in my house on Monday, okay?"

"Sure."

Hoseok started kissing Hyungwon, slowly climbing on top of him. He was rolling his hips against Hyungwon as he was lightly tugging at his hair. Unfortunately, this ended way sooner than Hyungwon wanted it to. Hoseok stopped exactly when he felt Hyungwon getting hard and slowly lifted himself up.

"Until Monday," he winked at Hyungwon before getting off of him and walking over to the window.

"You're going to leave me like that?" Hyungwon raised and eyebrow, gesturing at the quite obvious tent that had formed on his sweatpants.

"You left me like that three times, sweetheart." Hoseok smiled cheekily before heading back home.

\--

Hoseok was helping his mom wash the dishes after they had dinner. It was just the two of them for the night because, apparently, his father had found somewhere else to go.

"You won't get divorced, will you?" Hoseok asked, biting on his lower lip nervously.

"We won't," Mrs. Shin smiled. "We just need some time separated from each other."

Hoseok nodded. When he was done with the dishes he had to wash, he sat on the counter, looking at his mom. He didn't believe her at all. He was certain that she was lying and acting like there was no problem just so _he_ wasn't upset. Unfortunately, he was old enough to understand what was happening.

"How is it going with Hyungwon?" Mrs. Shin asked, trying to distract the attention from Mr. Shin and their collapsing marriage at least for now.

"I don't know," Hoseok sighed, resting his chin in his palm, his elbow rested on his thigh. "I think he's trying to be more distanced from me because of Kihyun."

"Do you really expect anything else at this point?" Mrs. Shin raised an eyebrow at him, a slight smile curling on her lips. Hoseok shook his head.

"Not really. He himself pointed out that I was with Kihyun until a few days ago."

"Just wait a little more and you will see how everything will come to place." She patted him on the knee.

Most people would probably find it quite weird that he shared so much with his mom. At least that's what he guessed. But he wanted her to know what was going on in his life. It was how he was going to feel calmer. Also he didn't really have any secrets to keep from her, so why not?

They spent the whole evening together, watching TV shows and movies. At some point they were even playing checkers. But Mrs. Shin got tired and went to sleep, leaving Hoseok alone in the living room. He checked his phone for the first time in a few hours. Mainly to see if Hyungwon had texted him. But instead of Hyungwon, it was Kihyun.

He frowned, quickly swiping the message away, not even curious to actually read what it said. But eventually Kihyun kept on texting him. Hoseok got really tired of the younger pestering him, so he just called Kihyun.

"What do you want?" Hoseok asked coldly as soon as Kihyun picked up.

" _You_ ," Kihyun's soft voice sounded, annoying the hell out of Hoseok.

"Miss me with your bullshit, okay? Go find you another target or whatever."

" _But, Hoseok, I love you._ "

Hoseok laughed mockingly. "You said something different when you broke up with me. Listen, it was fun having something with you but, honestly, I prefer not having it anymore. You tried your luck with Jooheon, it didn't work. You tried hitting on Hyunwoo, didn't work either. I don't even know with how many people you've tried before me. But it never worked out, am I right? Just get over the fact that no one wants you. Stop being annoying. Find yourself a new life because you're not really handling this one quite well."

Before Kihyun could say anything, Hoseok simply hung up. He pulled a blanket over himself and comforted his head on one of the cushions on the couch, too lazy to go to his room. He fell asleep soon after. Kihyun kept on searching for him but he didn't care. Now he wanted to be happy with Hyungwon and wasn't going to let anything get in the way this time.


	29. 26

"Hoseok," Hyungwon woke the other up, shaking him by the shoulder.

Hoseok tried opening his eyes but everything in front of him was a bright blur but Hyungwon sounded kind of angry so he had to force himself to wake up a little more. He slowly lifted himself from the couch and sat up, rubbing his face. "What's wrong?" he asked with a sleepy voice and only one eye open as he was still trying to adjust.

"Did you go to Kihyun's house last night?" Hyungwon asked.

" _What???_ " Hoseok was suddenly wide awake. "Hyungwon, what are you talking? I was with mom the whole evening and then fell asleep here, I haven't gone anywhere. Kihyun called me before I went to sleep but I cut him off."

The taller just took his phone out with a sigh. He showed Hoseok the messages Kihyun had sent him. "Please, be honest. Are you lying to me?"

"Hyungwon, I swear, I was here the whole night." Hoseok cupped the other's cheeks, bringing him closer to himself. He pecked him on the lips and brushed the tip of his nose against Hyungwon's. "Do you believe me?"

"I'm starting to..." Hyungwon said, not sure if he could believe. Or if he had to. Maybe he was never going to trust him on 100% when it came to Kihyun. But Hoseok was at home, not anywhere else, which was probably proving his words. At least for now.

Suddenly, Hoseok remembered all the messages and missed calls he had. He fished his phone from his pocket and gave it to Hyungwon. The last message Kihyun had sent read " _If you don't want to come over and don't care about my feelings, I really wonder how would /you/ feel if your boyfriend broke up with you because I told him you were with me_ ". Hoseok hadn't read the messages, so he didn't know what the face Hyungwon was pulling meant.

Apparently, Kihyun was expecting from Hyungwon to get angry right away before hearing Hoseok out. Thankfully, this time Hyungwon decided having a different approach and, thankfully, it saved both him and Hoseok from a hard time. He left the phone aside with a sigh. He sat next to Hoseok, pulling the blanket over himself, too, and snuggling into Hoseok. "I will crush his bones," he muttered. Hoseok only looked up at him, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

They heard Mrs. Shin walking out of her room. When she walked into the living room the two boys looked at her. "Good morning," the two said, causing a warm smile to appear on Mrs. Shin's face.

"Good morning, boys," she greeted and then headed to the kitchen to make her morning coffee.

They didn't feel uncomfortable when Mrs. Shin went through the living room a few times just so she could get to another part of the house. It was much more different from when Mrs. Chae was around. Mrs. Shin was just giving off a much friendlier vibe.

"Hey, we should go somewhere today," Hyungwon said as he was yawning. "I'm still too tired of staying indoors."

"Yeah, same."

"Wanna go on a date?" Hyungwon looked up at his boyfriend and wiggled his eyebrows at him.

"Sure." Hoseok kissed the top of Hyungwon's head and then comforted his head against it.

"I have an idea." Hyungwon suddenly lifted his head up, causing Hoseok to jump a little. "Let's pull a prank on Kihyun," he grinned.

Hoseok rolled his eyes. "Hyungwon, aren't you a bit too old to pull pranks on people?"

"Did you suddenly forget that we're going to pull a prank on _the whole schoo_ l along with Hanbin and Jiwon?" Hyungwon started playing with a strand of Hoseok's bleached hair.

"Okay, you've got a point. Tell me more."

"When we are at school, let's act like we've broken up. After all, that's what he wants as a result, right?" Hoseok glared at him. "Please, trust me on this, I have a really good plan!"

The shorter sighed, letting out a quiet "fine". Hyungwon kissed him softly. " I hope your plan doesn't include me."

"You don't have to do much, I promise."

Hyungwon told Hoseok about the whole idea he had and, surprisingly, the latter actually thought that it was a really _good_ plan. Hoseok was really glad that Hyungwon believed him and that he was even ready to take it back on Kihyun. Both of them had suffered enough, both were still stitching the wounds of their broken hearts. But at least they were together and supporting each other and nothing was more important than that.

\--

The two boys went to a coffee shop they hadn't gone to in over a year. Before it was just a chill place they went to a few times after school. Now it was much different than they remembered it. There were also many more customers since the place gained more popularity the last few months.

They walked up to the small line of people that had gathered in front of the counter, waiting for their orders to be taken.

"What are you going to have?" Hyungwon asked as both of them looked at the menu on the wall behind the counter.

"Americano and strawberry shortcake," Hoseok said after thinking for a while.

"Okay. You go find a free table, I will pay for them."

"You sure?"

Hyungwon nodded, pecking Hoseok on the forehead. Hoseok made his away out of the small crowd and quickly sat at the first empty table he saw. It was somewhere in the middle of the coffee shop and everything around was taken.

Soon after, Hyungwon sat next to him, placing their things on the table. He had bought Americano for himself, too, but along with chocolate cake.

"Hey," he said, bringing Hoseok's attention to himself. The blond looked a bit lost for a second and as if he had zoned out. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Hoseok smiled, resting his hand on Hyungwon's thigh. "I'm just not quite used to being around so many people in such small space.

"Same."

Soon they disregarded anything around themselves and started feeling more comfortable, remembering how peaceful the atmosphere in the coffee shop could be after a while. They were talking about random things, often holding hands, feeling happy in each other's presence.

At some point Kihyun texted Hoseok again. The two looked at the message, grinning at each other afterwards.

"Apparently, our plan is going to start working way sooner than we expected," Hoseok said, patting Hyungwon's thigh gently. "Tell me, though," his face suddenly went serious, "what is your actual reason for wanting to do this?"

"He hurt you. And now he thinks that if you have feelings for him, you will go back to him as soon as I leave you. I don't want him to try hurting you again and that's why I want to do something about it. I'm not doing it because I don't like him, as you might think. I'm doing it because I love you." Hyungwon actually realized that Hoseok still hadn't completely gotten over Kihyun even though he was trying so hard to forget about him. And he understood him. Moving on was not easy. Especially if it was just a few days after Hoseok and Kihyun had officially ended things between each other. Hyungwon just wanted to protect Hoseok (and maybe to keep him for himself only).

Hoseok was looking at Hyungwon with a pout. "You are such an idiot..." Hoseok buried his face in Hyungwon's chest, wrapping his arms around his body. "I don't deserve this..."

"Even if you don't, it doesn't really stop me from supporting you." Hyungwon smiled again, caressing the back of the other's head.

It was really frustrating for Hoseok to receive so much attention from Hyungwon about his problems with Kihyun. Yet he was so thankful that he had such a caring person beside himself, making him feel secure.

He exhaled slowly and looked up at Hyungwon. "Thank you for everything, Hyungwon. I really appreciate it." Hyungwon pecked him on the nose and pulled him into a hug again.


	30. 27

According to plan, Hyungwon and Hoseok were acting distant from each other the whole day at school. They stayed away from each other, not talking. Only at lunch break the circumstances forced them to sit together because they agreed to meet up with Hanbin and Jiwon to discuss.

"Let's set it up for prom?" Jiwon suggested while slowly rubbing his chin as if he was in deep thought. He didn't ask in a way that the other two boys could say no. While they weren't around, he had a lot of time to set everything up with Hanbin. They didn't tell them about anything and if they ever questioned it, Jiwon was just going to say that he didn't want to bother them.

"There will be many people,  some of which won't even be from our school. It's going to be _epic_. Except if you two lovebirds want to make it special just for the two of you?" He smirked as he saw how both Hyungwon and Hoseok blushed, looking away.

Suddenly, Hoseok looked back at Jiwon. "Okay, it's a deal. But only if you leave at least an hour for me and Hyungwon to be together at peace."

"I will even give you two hours so Hanbin and I make sure everything will go as planned."

"Two hours. Not less. Understood?"

"Don't worry about that."

At the same moment Hanbin sat at the table next to Jiwon, holding a tray of food in his hands and a piece of garlic bread in his mouth as if there wasn't any space on the tray. (There indeed was plenty of space on it.) After finally putting the tray down, he took off his bag, taking out a paper and putting it on the table, in the middle.

Jiwon wrapped his arm around Hanbin's shoulders, pulling himself closer to the other to see what was on the paper. "This is a plan of the ballroom the prom will be held in. This is in the building next to school," Hanbin explained. "I also have plans of what will be used as changing rooms and basically everything else in the whole building. I just have to print out a more detailed plan of the ballroom and everything will be fine."

He was too precise about everything and that was a quality the other three boys, along with many other people, really appreciated.

"Aah, Hanbin, you're a genius!" Jiwon hugged the boy, who just threw him a sheepish smile.

"Where did you get this?" Hyungwon questioned as he dragged the piece of paper closer to himself, observing it carefully as if it had some hidden code that he had to find in order to solve a mystery.

"I have my ways," Hanbin smirked.

They were discussing their plan for a few more minutes while eating until the bell rang and the four of them had to head to their classes.

Jiwon pretended he was gagging when Hoseok grabbed Hyungwon's hand. He frowned right after because Hoseok had pointed a middle finger at him, sticking his tongue out.

\--

"Hey," Kihyun smiled as he saw Hoseok sitting on the table next to him.

Hoseok noticed something odd about him right away. He looked really nervous and his smile was kind of sad, lacking his usual playfulness. It was strange. For the first time Kihyun, who always cared about how he looked, didn't have his hair combed. He probably hadn't slept in days either. He looked like a complete mess.

Hoseok nodded at him, not really wanting to have a conversation with him even though it was something as simple as greetings each other.

"Do you want to go out today?" Kihyun asked.

The blond looked at Hyungwon, who was behind them and listening carefully. Hyungwon just nodded at Hoseok.

"Sure," Hoseok responded after turning to Kihyun.

Now that Kihyun asked Hoseok out, the first step of their plan was complete and they were moving onto the next one. Hoseok's job was to figure out what Kihyun wanted and then they were going to set a trap for him.

\--

Hoseok felt like Kihyun had woken up a completely different person that day. He found it even weirder than he did earlier. Kihyun was shy, always tugging at his sleeves nervously, apologizing every time after stumbling on his words or when he accidentally bumped into Hoseok while they were walking.

Sometimes his behavior reminded Hoseok of the day Kihyun confessed. The difference was that this time he _wasn't_ comfortable in Kihyun's presence.

They went to the park. Kihyun didn't feel like going anywhere else. During the whole time he was trying to assure Hoseok that they just go out as friends, yet Hoseok never believed.

At times Kihyun looked really upset though he was trying to smile. It was annoying the hell out of Hoseok. When he had had enough, he just took the younger to a little bit more isolated bench and they sat down.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" He asked.

Kihyun looked at him a bit surprised. Then his gaze immediately fell back on his hands. "I wanted to apologize..." he mumbled. "That's the main reason I asked you to go out with me." Hoseok was waiting for him to sort out what he exactly wanted to say. He didn't look at ease at all. "I thought that if I tried taking revenge on you and Hyungwon broke up with you, I'd feel better about the fact that you cut me off... But I actually don't. And for the first time I actually feel guilty about something I did. Now because of me Hyungwon broke--"

"Kihyun," Hoseok stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hyungwon and I haven't broken up. We talked it out, we didn't fight, everything is fine. There is nothing that you should worry about."

He cursed at himself that he was ruining the plan. That was exactly what he shouldn't have said. But he felt a bit bad about how pathetic Kihyun looked.

"Really?" Kihyun let out a sigh of relief, suddenly not looking so upset. "I'm glad..."

That was definitely a different person. Hoseok had never seen that side of Kihyun. He didn't know if such side of him actually existed or if Kihyun was just acting. A part of him was hoping that Kihyun was already discovering what feelings were.

"I guess that I'm just really jealous," Kihyun spoke again. "And I'm so fucking scared because of that... I've never been jealous, never felt attached to anyone but now I simply can't let go of you even though I'm trying to tell myself that I don't need you."

Hoseok let out a small laugh. "Kihyun, you're in love."

"No way," Kihyun's eyes widened as he was thinking of every single possibility of him being in love. "No..." It seemed quite difficult for him to realize the concept of love. "I don't want this!" He looked up at Hoseok with a frown. "I'm not like that, I don't fall in love, I don't want to feel these things."

There were tears streaming down his cheeks and Hoseok was only left to wonder if that was what they'd call character development in movies. Character development or not, he felt kind of indifferent to Kihyun's tears. They looked real and the shorter was so confused about everything and his mind was probably setting itself on fire at the moment. But Hoseok wasn't moved by any of this.

"Hoseok?" Kihyun mumbled. "Could you forgive me for everything I did to you? For every single time I hurt you and made you feel like shit when I was using you for my own pleasure..."

"I don't think I currently can," Hoseok sighed. He tried his best pulling off an apologetic expression that looked believable enough.

"Oh... O-okay... I actually understand... But you don't hate me right?" Hoseok shook his head. "Thank you..."

The plan went to hell. Hoseok had no idea how to tell Hyungwon.


	31. 28

Class was going peacefully. Hoseok was back on his usual seat next to Hyungwon and had moved his desk closer to the latter's just like he did before. He felt a bit guilty because he separated Hyunwoo and Minhyuk, but according to what they said - they needed time without each other, too, so it was fine.

Once again _as usual_ , Hoseok was playing on his phone, not paying attention to the teacher nor to the lesson they were teaching. He was just raising his head up from time to time in order to write whatever was on the whiteboard.

Hyungwon decided not to bother him about that for a while. After all, if Kihyun had done one good thing then that was making Hoseok at least try to study and his grades were currently fine thanks to that. There was some high percent of him graduating.

At one point Hyungwon felt a bit dizzy and too tired, so he just rested his head down on the desk, looking at Hoseok. Eventually, the blond felt Hyungwon's stare and he looked back at him with a warm smile. He left his phone and also put his head on his desk.

"Hyungwon and Hoseok," they heard the teacher say almost right after they made themselves comfortable. "You will have enough time to sleep at your homes."

"We won't with three hours of volleyball practice and all that homework you give," Hyungwon muttered out loudly, not looking up at the teacher.

"You wouldn't have so much homework if you revised while you were gone."

"Well," Hyungwon finally lifted himself up, "sorry I'm not a robot and that I got sick and my fever was too high for me to study." The teacher just gestured at the door with their head, lips pressed in a thin line. There was no reason for them to kick Hyungwon out of class but he just muttered something out under his breath before taking his things and going out of the room, heading to the gym because their next class was P.E.

Hoseok looked disappointed but didn't follow Hyungwon. He noticed that Kihyun was looking at him with a pout and his eyebrows curled upwards. Hoseok just smiled at Kihyun and motioned his hand in a way that told Kihyun everything was fine. The edges of Kihyun's lips curled into a small smile before he turned to continue writing down the lesson.

After the class was over, Hoseok and Kihyun were walking to the gym together. Not because one was waiting for the other on anything like that. They just got out of the classroom at the same time and tagged along.

"Hoseok?" Kihyun looked up at the taller.

"What?"

"Do you mind if I went to talk with Hyungwon about... uh... the conversation we had yesterday?" He was fidgeting with the hem of his sweatshirt.

"I don't mind but I think he would mind a lot. I will talk with him, though."

"Thank you..."

Hoseok was getting really annoyed by how polite Kihyun was being. He still believed that at least a part of all this was made up. But it was probably better than him being a brat.

\--

Hyungwon and Hoseok were sitting on a bench, watching Jooheon and Changkyun play table tennis.

The two at the table were yelling at each other occasionally but weren't aware that no matter who was telling the other how weak he was, they both sucked in table tennis and for three years never really learned how to play properly.

Hoseok averted his gaze to his boyfriend. He still hadn't told Hyungwon that their plan had already failed the previous day. Now he either had to explain everything or just tell Hyungwon that Kihyun wanted to meet him. Well, the second option seemed much safer because at least Hyungwon wasn't going to get mad.

"Hyungwonnie," Hoseok said, playing with Hyungwon's bracelet.

"Yes?" Hyungwon immediately turned to Hoseok.

"Kihyun was searching for you after the class," Hoseok quickly made up. "He said he wanted to talk with you about something."

Hyungwon frowned. " _Kihyun_?" Hoseok nodded. "Wants to talk with _me_?" Hoseok nodded a second time. "Well, damn, you don't hear things like that every day. He will have to wait, I guess." Hyungwon leaned back on the bench. "I'm not in the mood to talk with him."

 _As if anyone ever is_ , Hoseok thought. His mind was a bit too occupied by how no one really enjoyed Kihyun's company except Jooheon and Changkyun. He didn't even understand why would Jooheon want to hang out with him after the hell Kihyun put him through. He wasn't going to be very surprised if it was one of the many things he did just to make Changkyun happy.

\--

Somewhere in the middle of volleyball practice Hyungwon noticed Kihyun walking into the gym and sitting on a bench aside of the court. Minhyuk was also there and the two started talking.

"Timeout," Hyungwon suddenly shouted and everyone on the court was more than glad that someone _finally_ did it. As everyone headed to either drink water or go to the bathroom, Hyungwon walked over to Hoseok with a questioning look on his face.

"Why is he here?" Hyungwon asked.

"Don't worry, he's just here to watch," Hoseok reassured, patting the taller on the shoulder. "You can perfectly see he's not doing any harm."

"Kihyun and no harm doesn't sound well when used in one sentence, don't you think?" Hoseok only rolled his eyes. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Not at all. There is something _he_ is not telling you and you would know if you actually went to talk with him."

"I don't want to talk with him."

"You have to."

Hyungwon groaned. He looked at Kihyun and realized that the younger was staring at him. He was staring back for a while until he gestured his head towards the exit. Kihyun immediately nodded as if he was expecting it.

\--

"Sup?" Hyungwon casually said as he sat down next to Kihyun.

Kihyun had been waiting for him behind school for around thirty minutes and Hyungwon was taking his time in the changing rooms until Hoseok convinced him to go. It was going to be easier if this ended sooner anyways.

After not receiving more than a smile as a response, Hyungwon decided that he had to say something else. Kihyun's smile made him a bit suspicious. "Heard you wanted to talk?"

Kihyun nodded. "It's about Hoseok..." Hyungwon let out something between a sigh and a groan. "But I also want to apologize for lying to you."

He told Hyungwon everything he told Hoseok. Even though he felt like he was going to get beat up for that sooner or later, he was honest with Hyungwon about his feelings for Hoseok.

"I won't try to get in the way of your relationship," Kihyun finally said. "I will eventually move on."

Hyungwon's eyebrows furrowed a bit. He was looking at Kihyun for a while. "What's wrong with you?"

"W-what?" Kihyun's eyes widened a bit.

"Who are you acting for? Do you really think I will believe any of this? You're not like this, Kihyun, we all know it."

Kihyun looked down at his hands. It was no use arguing with Hyungwon about that. Arguing with someone who hated him never lead him anywhere. But at least he knew he was honest even if Hyungwon didn't believe. "After Hoseok said that no one wants me, I start thinking more about that and realized that he's right. I want to change."

Silence fell for a while. Neither of them  knew what to say.

"I'm done here, I said what I have to say. Goodbye." Kihyun quickly got up, grabbing his bookbag, and walked away.


	32. 29

Hyungwon walked into the changing rooms, seeing Hoseok sitting all alone on one of the benches near the lockers. At first Hoseok didn't really notice him but then he heard the taller's steps and looked up at him. He noticed that Hyungwon looked a bit grumpy and wondered if it was because of Kihyun. It probably was.

"What are you doing here?" Hyungwon asked as he walked over to Hoseok, slowly running his fingers through his bleached hair.

"Waiting for you, obviously." Hoseok raised an eyebrow at the other. "What else could I be doing?"

"I don't know," Hyungwon hummed. "Probably going home and minding your business. But I really appreciate that you waited for me. Thank you." Without a warning he sat on Hoseok's lap, placing his legs at the other side of the bench.

"You're a little bit heavy, you know," Hoseok pointed out. Hyungwon  had started placing kisses on his neck.

"You're even heavier, you know," Hyungwon breathed against Hoseok's neck, making him shiver a bit. "But, somehow, I never complain." He was trailing his kissed from his neck up to his jawline and then down again. He would peck him on the lips at times shortly before continuing kissing him on the neck.

Hoseok was holding Hyungwon by the waist firmly, tightening his grip even more every time Hyungwon decided that it was a really good idea to suck on his neck. Technically, it  _was_  a good idea. But not in a place where someone else could just randomly walk in and catch them. Especially when Hoseok was beginning to be a whimpering mess and he couldn't keep his voice down for long. Sometimes he really disliked being so sensitive, especially to Hyungwon's touch. But he guessed he couldn't do anything but give in and stop being bothered by that.

He let out a soft sigh as Hyungwon's hands moved down to the little bit of exposed skin on his hips, and then under his shirt. It was obvious where that was going to lead and Hoseok wasn't really okay with doing such things in a place such as the gym's changing rooms.

"S-stop," Hoseok breathed out as Hyungwon trailed his kisses down to his collarbones.

"Hm?" Hyungwon looked up at Hoseok, pressing their foreheads together. "Why?"

"We can't do it here." Hoseok tried recollecting himself but he needed quite a lot of time to even his heavy breathing. He didn't even realize he was out of breath before that. Hyungwon was just looking at him questioningly. "Do you really want to have your first time in a place where it smells like sweat and... Sweaty men... And... Yeah, you got the idea."

"You've got a point," Hyungwon concluded after thinking for a while. He didn't even have to give it as much thought as he did. The changing rooms always smelled bad after practice and this time it was no exception.

"Let's go to my house then?" Hoseok's lips curved in a smirk. "If my mom is there we will just keep quiet, she won't bother us."

Hyungwon was really tempted by the suggestion. Of course he would be tempted as long as his mom wasn't there to interrupt. Once again, there was no guarantee that she wasn't going to randomly pop up to see Hoseok's mom but Hyungwon couldn't stay a virgin his whole life just because his mom was always there at the "right" moment.

The two got up. Hyungwon changed his clothes while Hoseok spent quite a good amount of time checking his body out.

"Let's go," Hyungwon said, grabbing his bookbag. A second later he noticed how Hoseok was staring at him. "What are you looking at?"

"Well, I was looking at your ass but then you decided to turn around." Hoseok let out a disappointed sigh.

"Oh, my God," Hyungwon groaned and rolled his eyes. He went out of the changing rooms, not even letting Hoseok catch up with him, forcing the shorter to run after him.

On their way out they bumped into Hyunwoo. Both of them were more than glad that Hyunwoo didn't come a few minutes early. It was going to be a bit of an awkward situation. Especially when they knew just how uncomfortable Hyunwoo was every time someone only  _mentioned_  literally anything about sex or related to it.

Sometimes they wondered how did Minhyuk live like that. But, on the other hand, Minhyuk was just probably too in love with Hyunwoo to ever be bothered by such thing. Even if sex was more or less a major thing in a relationship according to Hyungwon and Hoseok, that didn't mean it had to be like that with every other relationship. People were different.

After talking with Hyunwoo for a few minutes, Hyungwon and Hoseok were once again heading back home.

"You remember when it was somewhere the beginning of the school year and we were catching pokemon on our way back home from school?" Hoseok looked up at Hyungwon, wide teasing grin flashing on his face.

"Yeah, I guess."

"And then your mom called you and you started panicking because you didn't want to die a virgin," the more Hoseok talked, the more he had to make short pauses at times because he had started laughing uncontrollably. "My point is... Sike, you're still alive."

"And still a virgin," Hyungwon reminded with his lips pursed.

"At least for now!"

Hoseok was teasing Hyungwon all the way to his house. Hyungwon just decided to keep quiet and not pay much attention to his boyfriend purposefully trying to annoy him. He was really annoyed but he was going to think of his revenge as soon as they were alone and there was no one around who would report him for a murder... Well, murder was the least possible case but still...

"Mom, I'm home!" Hoseok yelled as soon as they walked into the house. There was no answer. "Okay, great she's not here."

Hyungwon closed the door and Hoseok locked it. They dropped their bags and left them along with their shoes by the door. Then, they went upstairs to Hoseok's bedroom. It was much messier than they remembered it from last night. Now it just looked as if a hurricane had passed. But something else distracted them as soon as they realized that they needed an emergency shower.

"We could've chosen a day when we're not coming back from practice," Hoseok muttered as he was taking Hyungwon's shirt off.

"At least now I will know you've showered beforehand," Hyungwon grinned after pulling the shirt over his head, tossing it aside on the bed. His hands traveled down to Hoseok's shirt, pulling it up.

"I shower more than you!" Hoseok opposed as he lifted his hands up in the air so Hyungwon could take his shirt off.

"Sure."

As soon as they had completely undressed each other, they went to the bathroom. At some point Hyungwon purposefully got shampoo in Hoseok's eyes as a revenge for annoying him while walking. Aside of that, it was just a peaceful shower accompanied by a soft kiss or two. Or maybe much more than that.

They went out when the water was starting to run cold and Hoseok was complaining a lot about it. They wrapped themselves in towels and went back on Hoseok's bedroom. They lied down on the bed next to each other, Hyungwon's arms wrapped around Hoseok.

Their towels were wrapped much more loosely around them now but it seemed like that wasn't enough and they had to get themselves back into the mood.

"Okay, serious question," Hoseok said before they started doing anything.

"What is it?"

"Top or bottom?"

"Top," Hyungwon answered immediately.

"Excuse me, what?" Hoseok looked at him with a really offended expression. "I asked just so we could make sure that I'm the top!"

Hyungwon snorted. "You wish!"

Hoseok moved Hyungwon's arms away from himself and lied on his back with his arms. "Now neither is going to get laid just because you've got a stick up your ass."

"Apparently, I'm not the only one."

Hoseok rolled his eyes.

"Why does it even matter that much?" Hyungwon raised an eyebrow as he turned his head to look at Hoseok. "We could try both ways, what's your problem?"

"My problem is that I'm not a bottom."

Hyungwon let out a groan. "Why are you so problematic?"

"Why are  _you_  so problematic?"

" _I_  am problematic? At least I'm more open-minded!"

They were lying in silence for a while, only the sound of the wind and the birds' chirping from the outside interrupting it.

"I can't believe we have to argue about things like that," Hyungwon sighed.

"We could try both ways only if you let me top first," Hoseok muttered under his breath.

"Okay, fine."


	33. 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello if youre uncomfortable w smut please skip (or currently wait) for the next chapter!!

****Hyungwon was not stronger than Hoseok. He was skinny, with little to no muscle mass despite all those volleyball practices. Yet he managed to dominate Hoseok. And for a while it was just them two, still fighting on who was going to be on top, this time wordlessly.

When Hoseok decided to forget about his pride just this once and finally submitted, Hyungwon took that as a green light. As he was kissing the other, he slowly ran his hand against his crotch, feeling his hard-on. Hoseok let out a quiet whimper.

Considering how well Hyungwon knew in what way Hoseok reacted by the different ways he touched him, it wasn't so difficult for him to become used to all this and get the blond really worked up and desperate in no time.

Hoseok was most likely going to regret if he was on top and missed out on all of these gentle touches. Or they were still going to happen, but it was going to be different.

Soon, he felt Hyungwon's hand slip under the towel and shivered as it gripped his length, causing him to let out yet another moan.

Hyungwon suddenly pulled away and looked down at Hoseok, his hand still on the latter's dick. "Do you have lube?" he asked.

Hoseok nodded before reaching out for the drawer of his nightstand. He opened it and took out a bottle of lube that was already half empty. Along with it, he pulled out two condoms.

Hyungwon took the lube and left the condoms aside. After moving between Hoseok's legs and spread them more, he poured a bit too much of the thick liquid on his fingers, since he didn't really know what was The Right Amount. But after all, the more, the better.

He was teasing Hoseok's entrance for a while until he suddenly slipped in one finger without a warning, catching Hoseok a bit off guard. The blond swore that the moan he let out was loud enough to be heard at least at the other end of the street or something. (Okay, maybe it wasn't  _that_  loud, but still...)

"You should've warned," Hoseok said with a shaky voice.

"If I did, how was I going to get such a reaction from you?" Hyungwon grinned. He leaned in and started moving his finger inside Hoseok as he continued kissing him.

Not long after, he added a second finger and he was apparently not keen on wasting much time on foreplay. He wanted his first time to be special and meaningful or some romanticized shit like that, but he had also waited for way too long and it wasn't going to be anything new or special for Hoseok anyways, so it didn't really matter.

The only thing that mattered was that he wanted Hoseok so much and the fact that things were finally happening was actually making him happy.

Three fingers in and Hoseok's moans were gradually getting louder. The sounds, emitting from his mouth, were like a fuel for the taller because it just motivated him to keep going and continue making his boyfriend feel good.

When he made sure that Hoseok was stretched enough, he slid his fingers out and grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand in order to wipe the lube off on it. He grabbed one of the condoms and ripped the package open.

"Could you help me?" Hyungwon asked, slightly embarrassed.

"You don't know how to?" Hoseok sat up, taking the condom from Hyungwon's hands.

Hyungwon just shook his head with a small pout. "Don't make fun of me about it."

"I wouldn't," Hoseok smiled sweetly and pecked Hyungwon on the lips. After that, he made Hyungwon finally remove his towel, so he could help him and show him how it's done.

"It's a bit uncomfortable," Hyungwon mumbled after he succeeded putting the condom on without that much help from Hoseok's side.

"You will get used to it."

Hoseok lied flat on his back again. Hyungwon positioned himself better and lined up with the other's entrance. He started feeling a bit nervous but it was just for a split second. The next moment, he was already halfway inside Hoseok.

He gave both of them some time to adjust. They were breathing heavily and Hoseok was once again making really beautiful sounds that Hyungwon was starting to adore even more than he already did.

Hyungwon started moving and leaned down, making Hoseok wrap his legs around his waist. He was kissing and sucking on Hoseok's neck.

Hoseok's hands immediately moved on the brunet's back, digging his nails into his skin lightly. " _Go deeper_ ," he moaned out, wanting to feel all of Hyungwon inside of him. The other quickly obeyed and even started moving faster.

Seeing Hoseok like that made Hyungwon feel good. Not only because Hoseok looked so ethereal even in a moment like that. It was because Hyungwon knew that no one else was able to make Hoseok feel like that. No one else knew Hoseok as well as he did and he was able to take such a great advantage of that. The fact that it was their first time didn't mean that Hyungwon didn't know what to do and that was exactly because he was so confident in knowing his boyfriend's body.

" _Hyungwon..._ " the blonde whined after a while, trying to fuck himself against the other, yet he was already feeling so much pleasure that he barely knew what he was doing. " _I'm close..._ "

Hyungwon changed his pace and gradually started moving slowly again, this time his thrusts filled with much more passion.

It didn't take Hoseok long until he came. Hyungwon did the same right after and let out a moan, followed by a sigh of relief. He pulled out and went to the bathroom to remove the condom and wash himself up after his mind wasn't that much of a haze anymore. He came back with a towel to clean Hoseok, who was still just lying there, breathing heavily and having his eyes closed.

After Hyungwon was done, he pressed a kiss against Hoseok's knee and got up, throwing the towel on top of the pile in the basket with dirty clothes. He then went to take two pairs of underwear, giving one to the shorter.

"So you're going to steal my underwear again?" Hoseok opened his eyes and looked at Hyungwon as he was putting on the pair that he took for himself.

"Of course."

Hoseok also put his underwear on and made himself comfortable in bed again, making space for Hyungwon. The latter lied down next to him and pulled the blanket over themselves. He snuggled up really close to the other.

"I love you so much, Hoseok," he whispered, a smile playing on his lips.

"I love you, too, Hyungwon," the blond cupped Hyungwon's cheeks, kissing him softly.

\--

Somewhere in the middle of the two boys' session Mrs. Shin got back home. Of course, the first thing she was welcomed to were the loud moans that were coming from her son's room.

She sighed and glanced down, seeing Hyungwon's shoes. For a second she was about to think how glad she is that Hyungwon and Hoseok are together, but then she remembered that she had invited Mrs. Chae over and that if she heard what was going on, she was surely going to interrupt it as soon as possible.

She quickly left her things and went outside again, heading to the Chaes' house, taking a mental note to remind the two boys that they owed her a favor because she basically saved their lives.


End file.
